The UsThem Complex
by jam2599
Summary: Everyone from Konoha High was successful. Well, everyone but Uzumaki Naruto. His only claim to fame was that he was the personal assistant of the hottest actor in Japan, a man named Sai. NarutoSai.
1. Impermeable

The Us-Them Complex, Chapter One

Pairings: NarutoSai

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Notes:

I think Naruto is straight.

I'm just putting that out there.

But, you know, shit happens during life.

It's impossible to say what your sexuality was until you're on your death bed, when you can think about what you've done, who you've done it with, and what you were glad to did.

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I hate my boss.

He's a complete and total jackass, and he holds all of my screw-ups over my head.

I'm watching the bastard right now. We got stopped on the way home by some of his female fans, and they look like they're in middle school. He's a professional, though, so when the girls flagged him down he showed them a great deal of courtesy.

They're standing outside a café right now, and I'm watching the bastard pull off his polite-smiling act as he signs autographs for the girls. He even hugs each one before going, and one of them kisses him on the cheek and her friends giggle. They take a few pictures of him and he waves goodbye to them.

He walks over to me and I glare at him from my spot on the bench outside the café. "Hello, Naruto," he says.

I stand up and brush off the back of my pants. "Finished?" I ask him.

He smiles at me, an award-winning smile, one that gets him a lots of jobs and probably a lot of love—and I would NEVER want to hear about it—and he says, "Sure, let's go home."

I grudgingly pick up the bag of stuff he bought on this errands run and I follow him back to his apartment.

My name is Uzumaki Naruto, and I am the personal assistant of one of the most popular actors in the country.

I don't know his real name, but I know he goes by Sai.

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I guess things wouldn't have been so damn bad if Sai didn't constantly remind me that he was better than me in every way possible.

Take his looks, for instance. Being the idol that he was, he was incredibly attractive, with a feminine face, silkly black hair, and pretty black eyes. He dressed well, too, and he'd always been interested in what the latest designers were turning out.

Sai's apartment was a four-bedroom, though he slept in the master bedroom and the other three bedrooms were jokes compared to it. The damn thing was just gorgeous, and it was something that I could never have afforded. Hell, I could have worked my whole life and only rented the place out for five-to-sixth months, and he didn't even really care about it. I often found myself cleaning his place up, just because I couldn't stand to see how he wastes it.

At time I thought, 'Maybe he's tricking me'.

Sai was a smug bastard, that's for sure. I'd have kicked his ass if he didn't pay me so much to follow him around all day.

He unlocked the door to his apartment, and I found myself wondering if I'd be going back to my place later that night or if he'd keep me there so late that I'd have to sleep over. That shit started a long time ago, and at that time I occupied one of his previously unused bedrooms. He'd even bought me a lot of clothing, because he couldn't stand for his assistant to dress like a normal person. I found myself wearing black at least six out of every seven days of the week.

I set his bag down on the couch and I left it for him to deal with. He'd already gone to his bedroom, though, probably to change into the fourth outfit for the day, and I knew that it was black because that's all he wore.

I asked him if he was a closet gothic once. He told me that black made him look slimmer.

Yeah, like he needed it.

He joined me again and, lo and behold, he was wearing something new. It was a skintight shirt and pants that time.

Why didn't he save it for the cameras? Or do some people really like to dress like that in their own homes? No one was there to see it, and I certainly didn't appreciate it.

Granted, if Sai was a chick something like that would've TOTALY had me checking her out.

I turned on the TV and there was something about his new movie on the news. I changed the channel because I didn't want him to hear anyone else tell him how great he was. His ego was big enough and I sure as hell wasn't about to feed it.

He wandered into the kitchen and I heard him open the fridge. "Give me a beer, will you?" I shouted at him.

I really, really hated him.

I hated him some more when he handed me an apple martini.

The bastard just smiled at me. "Try it."

I glared at him, but I didn't want to push. I knew there was beer in the fridge, but I also knew that Sai loved to screw with me. I knew that there was a possibility that it wasn't even an apple martini. Hell, I wouldn't have put it past him to drug me, take my clothes off, and hang me upside-down from his balcony naked.

I drank it, though, and I made a face, exaggerating when I said, "It's sour!"

He smiled back at me. "Well, I'll make you a different one next time."

I set it down, afraid of being seen with it, and I watched him drink milk…no, it's a White Russian. He loved girly drinks, and it's because of him that I'd been exposed to that crap.

Sai took the remote from me, and his fingers brushed mine. I was once again disturbed by how soft his skin was, softer than anyone's should have been, and I shuddered when he changed the channel.

That's what pissed me off the most about him. He didn't even have to try to screw with me; it was just a gift of his.

There was a fashion show on TV, and I heard a familiar name. Sai set down the remote and curled into a ball on the couch as he took another sip of his White Russian.

"I really love his dresses," Sai said. "Too bad he doesn't make men's clothes."

I heard the familiar name again and I sat upright. "Holy shit…"

Sai turned his attention to me. "You know the Nara line? I didn't think you liked clothes, Naruto."

I glared at him. "I know that guy…Nara, Nara Shikamaru." They hadn't shown a picture of the guy yet but I didn't think it was a common name. Besides, I'd heard from Chouji that Shikamaru went to art school after the first year of college, and that he started to work for a fashion design firm. The dresses the models on TV were wearing looked like any other dress I'd seen, and I didn't really care for fashion, but…

"I went to high school with Shikamaru," I told him. He looked surprised, and then smiled at me. "So, can you get in touch with him for me?"

"Well, we're not really friends anymore…"

Sai turned back to the TV. "Why not?" He smiled, and it was the smile of his that I liked the least. It was his creepy, I'm-about-to-make-you-very-uncomfortable smile. "Did you fall for the same girl in school?"

I scoffed and turned back to the TV. More dresses. Why were there so many dresses? "Hardly. The girl I liked liked another guy, but we didn't fight over her. And Shikamaru liked a girl from another school."

I saw him out of the corner of my eye, and he was facing me again, interested. "Have you seen any of them recently?"

I shook my head. "No, but…" I suddenly remembered something I'd needed to ask him about. "My high school reunion is in two weeks, so I wanted to have off so I could catch up with everyone."

"No." he said firmly. His response took a few seconds to register, and when it did I stood up and faced him. His black eyes followed me and a little smile lit up his face.

"Why not?" I asked.

"I need you here," he said.

I glared at him. "Look, you shithead, you don't have anything planned for the next month, so all you're going to do until the Deathnote movie audition is run me around and make me buy shit for you, and watch TV, and--"

"And work out," he said. "I'm getting a pudge."

I stared at him in frustration, and then I threw my hands up in the air. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"No."

There were many times when Sai almost drove me to violence. He didn't understand why certain things were important to me, like seeing old friends, or not going to some of his parties, or that I needed a hell of a lot more sleep than he did. I glared at him and his smile widened, and he was happy because I'd gotten pissed off and I wanted to kill him for it.

No matter what, though, my paycheck came from him, so I couldn't kill him, even if I found a good way to hide the body. Not to mention the fact that everyone in Japan would have known if the bastard went missing.

I sat down on the couch and forced myself to calm down. "Why not?" I growled at him. I didn't know how to get it through to him that this reunion was important to me.

He watched the models walk down the catwalk again, and said, "You can only go if I can come with you."

I let that sink in. It wouldn't be so bad…and DAMN IT, I was going to see Sakura and Sasuke again! Hell, if I didn't see them then, I knew that I might have never have been given the chance again.

"Fine," I said, trying my hardest to show him that I HATED his guts as I turned back to the TV. "But don't embarrass me or anything."

"Embarrass you?"

"Yeah," I said, turning to him. I didn't even know if he was listening, and I could see his eyes flick back and forth between the different models on the screen. "If you embarrass me, I'll quit."

He pouted a little. "Sure, Naruto, I'll be on my best behavior."

The damn liar.

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I went to a public high school in Konoha, Japan, population 10000. Not really big, and nothing interesting came form there until my graduating class.

My best friends turned out really well. Sakura became a doctor at the most prestigious hospital in the country. Sasuke became an actor, and he'd actually shortened his name like my god-damned boss; he'd become known as Sasuke, no Uchiha or anything. They both made a shitload more money than me, and they didn't have to deal with Sai.

Shikamaru, surprisingly, became a famous fashion designer, or so I'd realized from that fashion show. As for Ino, well, she became a model. I personally thought that there were only two model-like things about Ino: her waistline and her attitude. I'd e-mailed Chouji back and forth a few times, just because he was such a nice guy and you tend to realize those things when you're out of school and no one cares who the fat kid was anymore. He'd gotten a hold of his dad's restaurant, and he'd married to Ino. I was not invited to the wedding, for some reason, and when Chouji and Ino realized they'd forgotten me they sent me a tape of the wedding and told me to come eat at Chouji's restaurant whenever for free.

I guessed it was better than sitting at a stupid wedding.

There was this girl who graduated from my class, Hinata, who was from a famous family of martial artists. I'd heard that she won some award or other, I didn't know much about that kind of thing, and she'd become a stunt choreographer. Once again, her job was way cooler than mine, her paycheck could've eaten my paycheck, and she had not yet worked with Sai. The bastard probably couldn't have done any of the shit she'd show him anyway.

One of Hinata's friends did some shady stuff. Shino went to work for his dad, and no one knew what he did for a living, but he made a ton of money so it was probably nothing good. Hinata's other friend, Kiba (well he was Shino's friend too) became a police officer. That would've kind of sucked for him if he hadn't become a detective somewhere along the line, and his name had found it way into the paper and onto the news a few times.

As for myself…well…after college (and my major was Radio, Television, and Film, thank you very much) I hit a low point. I couldn't get a job, and Sasuke, who had just hit it big as an actor, getting his first role in a high-budget movie, offered me a position as his personal assistant. It was hell at first, learning all the shit I needed to keep up with, but it was okay because we were buddies and he would just give me however much money I needed. I didn't like that, though, because I didn't want to live life in his passenger seat, so I said Sayonara to that. He and Sakura both offered me money, because they knew I needed it…even when Sakura was just a poor intern, she broke down in tears over the phone once because I refused to take money from her.

I felt like shit after that, but she needed the money more than I did.

So after I quit being Sasuke's personal assistant, I saw an ad in the paper asking for…a personal assistant. Not much information was given, but I went in for the interview anyway.

I should have known something was up when the guy interviewing me wouldn't tell me the name of the potential employer. I needed the money, though, so I went along with it.

I got a call the next day telling me that I got the job. I don't know how or why Sai picked me; I'd only held a few jobs before then, I had a crappy, easy major, a bad credit history, and I went to the interview wearing jeans.

But sometimes, I thought that God was trying to get back at me for things I'd done in the past. Working for Sai was punishment enough to last me ten lifetimes of misdeeds.

Really. I hated his fucking guts.

The day of the reunion approached, and Sai woke me up that morning (he'd kept me there all night, the jackass) by opening my door, sneaking in, and tickling me.

When I woke up I accidentally kicked him in the side. He laughed at me and fell back, smiling his big stupid grin. I don't know where he got that smile, the smile of his that looks the most real, his childish smile.

Despite the kick to his side, Sai didn't get the 'don't do that' hint I was sending his way and he came in for another attack, deciding that he'd found something worth doing to me.

I, of course, tackled him to the floor and held him there. I weighed more than Sai, though he was about three centimeters taller than I was. My build was stronger than his; after all, Sai only worked out to keep himself in shape. He didn't have any of the fighting experience or athletic training that I got from high school.

With my hands pinning his wrists on either side of his head, I lowered my face and glared at him so hard that it hurts my facial muscles. "Sai," I growled. He looked like he was enjoying it, so I kept talking to prevent him from making any insinuations based on our position.

"Don't. Ever. Do. That."

He grinned up at me. I was right; he was enjoying it. Nothing got through to Sai, at least nothing I could do without becoming a criminal, but I had to try to get through to him.

"Why not?" he asked, his doll-face blank except for that smile. The skin under my hands was soft, so soft that I knew that I could've bruised him if I held him down too long. I decided to keep my message short.

"If you do that again, I'll bash your head in with a baseball bat."

"No, you won't."

I glared at him. Of course I wouldn't! Damn it! "I'll fantasize about it, though. I really will," I said, and I knew it sounded weak. Sai leaned his head back like he was getting ready to be under me for a while.

"I'll do something weird to you to wake you up, then," I said. I could've actually done that. I hadn't thought of anything, but I could've probably improvised rather easily.

Sai's smile fell from his face, and he just watched me for a moment. I thought that something may have really sunk in this time, though I didn't know what it was that I'd said that got through his thick skull.

I shoved myself off of Sai, and he pulled himself off the floor, dusting of his clothes. "Oh, I have to change again already…"

"Do it in your own room!" I shouted at him as I threw him out of the room he's letting me use. He laughed again, and I could imagine him smiling at me through the door.

Sai was weird. He'd say the most cryptic things sometimes, leaving me to try to figure out what was happening. Sometimes, he'd do something weird, something that didn't really seem like it would be worth seeing me pissed off, and things that might've made me hurt him or hate him. Nothing stopped him.

It was because of that, that I was afraid of what he'd do at the reunion. He often maked jokes about me…jokes that bordered on sexual harassment, the fag…and I really, really didn't want him to pull that shit at the reunion.

My old classmates already had enough reason to look down on me.

I packed my bags and I met him in the living room. He looked wonderful, as usual, wearing all black, and a pair of sunglasses that were worth more than my life. I had wizened up over the years and I now keep a good deal of clothes at Sai's place. I was glad, because I didn't want to look like Sai's shadow any longer than I had to.

He looked me over, and I rolled my eyes. I don't like his teasing.

"You don't have much imagination," he said, eyeing my jeans and sweater. He may have thought I looked crappy, but I thought he looked like a fag, so it all evened out.

I just shrugged. "I'm sick of wearing black, is all," I said. He held up two plane tickets. "Call a cab, please," Sai told me before picking up his own elegant black suitcase and walking out the door.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, pulling out the trusted cell phone I couldn't have lived without and calling the taxi service on my speed-dial.

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We booked a hotel room together in Konoha. Now, Sai and I both knew that he could damn well have afforded two rooms…he could've probably rented out the whole damned hotel if he wanted to, but when I tried to ask for two rooms he stopped me and walked up to the counter.

"We'd like to share a room with two beds, please," he said in his annoying soft voice. The woman working behind the counter just STARED at him and I rolled my eyes. I'd seen that shit a hundred times, and it got old.

Truth be told, I couldn't have picked Sai out of a line-up before he'd hired me. I'd never really cared about idols or actors before, not until Sasuke made it big.

I stared at him in shock. "Why one room?"

His pretty lips formed a smile, and he said into my ear, "It's been years since I've shared a room with anyone, and I miss it."

I glared at him and pulled away, trying to clean all the Sai-ness out of my ear. The receptionist stared at us and I shook my head as if to say, 'no, we're not screwing each other'.

Sai smiled at her. "I'll give you an autograph as soon as you give us that room."

She laughed, and I glared at Sai. He knew how to be so damn CHARMING, when he wanted to be, and it made me sick because I knew he was actually an asshole. "Right away," she said, ringing him in. She gave us each a key, and I hid my key quickly so that no paparazzi would show up and take a picture of 'Sai and his blonde lover' checking into a hotel together.

Sai signed an autograph for her, and even hugged her over the counter, milking the moment. Other people in the lobby stared at him, and I knew they could all see right through me. I was transparent when I stood next to Sai.

I dragged him to our room, holding back everything I wanted to say to him, trying to not remind him that he had enough money to pay for another room, when he tripped in the hallway and fell.

Fuck.

I knelt next to him, my anger gone. "Are you okay?" I asked him.

I really was concerned, because Sai DID let shit happen to him and he usually didn't put up a fight. I guess he was like that because he always wailed on other people, like he was trying to balance himself out.

Sai pulled himself up onto his hands and knees and I saw that his sunglasses had fallen from his face. "I'm alright. Just not so fast; I don't want to get any bruises."

I found his sunglasses and handed them to him, and he tucked them into the neckline of his shirt. Every motion was smooth and elegant, and when the sunglasses were in placed they weighed his shirt down just the right amount. I'd noticed that he knew how to do things in the most annoying ways, that he could try to be cute or elegant or charming, but whenever I saw him do that it just pissed me off. I hauled him to his feet and took his suitcase from him out of guilt.

Sai took a quick shower in our room and I realized that I'd have to shower after him, meaning that when I showered there would be Sai germs everywhere, waiting to get into my body to infect me with weirdness. I shuddered as he turned off the shower water.

"Naruto?" he asked from the bathroom.

I sat up at flipped him the bird through the wall. "What?"

"We don't seem to have any towels."

I rolled my eyes. "You're kidding me!"

"…do you want to see?"

I threw a pillow at the bathroom door. "No, I don't want to see you naked. I'll go get some more towels." I paused at the door. "Check before you get in the shower next time!" I shouted as I left.

I was actually thankful for the brief excursion because it allowed me to get away from Sai for a few minutes. I'd spent most of my life looking after him, and I'd gotten sick of him.

I managed to find some towels on a cart in a hallway and I walked back to our hotel room. When I opened the door, I was shocked to find him sitting naked and wet on his bed as he watched TV.

Panic set in and I threw the stack of towels at him. I'd never seen Sai naked before, and I'd never wanted to. He really hadn't been honest when he'd said he was getting pudgy. This is something that I hadn't needed to know.

"Dude!" I shouted at him. I hadn't used that word since college. "What the fuck?!?"

He wrapped a towel around his waist and turned his attention back to the TV. "Quiet, they're showing the Nara line again." Sai said with that perfectly blank look on his face, acting like I was the crazy one.

I stared at him before going to take my own shower. I didn't want to keep the Sai germs waiting.

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The reunion was held in the school gym.

Yes, I went to THAT kind of high school, ladies and gentlemen.

One of the first people I recognized was my old homeroom teacher Iruka. I played pranks on him for years, and I confessed my guilt on graduation day. He chased me around the auditorium, but he didn't catch me!

Iruka waved me over to him and hugged me. Sai followed me, silent and interested, and I'd really wished he'd fuck off. Iruka was talking to Ino and Chouji before I got there, and Chouji patted me on the shoulder.

"How are things, Naruto?" he asked. Before I had time to answer, Ino covered her mouth with her hands and her eyes widened and I _knew_ what was about to happen.

Chouji noticed Sai, too, but he wasn't a girl. He was NORMAL.

Ino jumped up and down. "You're Sai!" she shouted, pointing to my employer.

Sai nodded. "It's nice to meet you. I'm a friend of Naruto's, and he was kind enough to invite me to his reunion."

Now, I never came off as gay, so that doesn't have the effect Sai expected. Rather, Ino ignored everything he'd just said and hugged him instead, still jumping up and down.

"Okay," I told her, trying to calm her down. "It's not that big a deal, Ino…"

Sai had everyone's attention, though, like I'd known he would.

I heard the distinct sound of heels, and I turned around to see Sakura. She looked hot, as usual, and she was wearing a pink dress.

Sakura hugged me and I hugged back, glad that she hadn't seen Sai before she'd seen me. "Hi, Naruto," she said as we pull apart. "I'm glad you came!"

She was definitely older; the hospital must have done that to her. Her face was smooth but her eyes looked tired, and the contempt she once had for me had disappeared, replaced with a mature amity.

I grinned at her, excited that I could see the girl I used to be in love with, and I rubbed the back of my head as I laughed. "Of course I did! I couldn't miss seeing you and Sasuke!"

"Sasuke?" Sai asked from behind me. He walked around, and I guessed that he'd freed himself from Ino because she wasn't around his neck anymore, and he asked me, "You know THE Sasuke?" He looked interested again, and it's not the kind of feigned interest he always projected when he chatted up fans or associates.

Sakura's green eyes widened when she saw him, and she smiled as she looked from one of us to the other. "You're Sai, aren't you?" she asked. She was BLUSHING.

Granted, Sai was hot, at least by girls' standards. I tried to brush this off.

I nodded at Sakura. "Yeah, we're kind of friends or something."

Sakura nodded back. She didn't like making scenes, and she cares a lot about her image, but I KNEW that she was as close to hugging Sai as I was to beating him to death. "That's good to hear," she said, holding out her hand. "I'm Haruno Sakura."

Sai took her hand, and he kissed it, the bastard, before saying, "I go by Sai."

Sakura blushed when he kisses her hand, but she pulled away from him. "Shake it, will you?" she asked. He smiled and complied.

I knew by then that her fangirl giddiness was building up. Sai did that to the best of people, and Sakura fit into that category, so I wasn't surprised to see her leave soon, saying something about calling Sasuke. This hit me hard, and I realized that they may have gotten together.

I mean, Sasuke came out and all, but she was Sakura. How could he have passed that up?

Sai put his arm around my shoulders and steered me back to Iruka, Chouji, and Ino. Ino has collected herself, though she still kept sneaking looks at Sai. I was glad she didn't have a camera right then.

Iruka cleared his throat. "Well, Naruto, it's good to see you're here." He turned to Sai, and spoke to him like any guy would: normally. "Naruto used to be a real troublemaker in class," he said with his usual wide grin on his face.

"Oh really?" Sai's lips curled into another smile that made me want to punch his lights out. "I can imagine it." He remembered his manners, and held out a hand for Iruka to shake. "My name is Sai, by the way, and you are…?"

Iruka shook his hand. "Umino Iruka, homeroom teacher." He motioned to Chouji and Ino. "These two are Akimichi Ino and Chouji."

Sai shook Chouji's hand, and, of course, kissed Ino's. He did this with every girl he met, and their reactions were always the same.

And Ino was MARRIED. If Chouji hadn't been lying to me, they were doing great together.

While Iruka was giving the introduction I should have given but didn't want to, I looked around and I saw Sasuke standing at the door of the gym. Sakura was talking to him and they were walking in my direction.

"Sasuke!" I shouted, jumping up and down and waving at him like an idiot. I knew how I looked, but it was worth it to see Sakura and Sasuke smile at me like old times.

He and Sakura walked over and I noticed that Sai had stopped talking to Ino and Chouji and he'd started staring at Sasuke. Sasuke recognized him, and I jumped in.

"Sai, this is Sasuke, my old best friend." I said. "And Sasuke, this is--"

"I know who he is," Sasuke said with a smirk. "Sai."

Sai smiled at him. "Wow, I thought I was going to meet you someday, but I didn't know it would be here."

To my surprise, Sasuke glared at him. "What are you doing with Uzumaki?"

Together, these two had drawn the attention of the whole gym. If I had been a hot chick, this would've totally been like a scene in a movie I'd seen once: the girl's old boyfriend finds her with a new, abusive boyfriend, and he fights for her.

When watched that movie I rooted for Sasuke.

But this was just embarrassing.

Sai glared back, and I knew that he'd seen all the people who were watching him because he suddenly grabbed Sasuke's face and kissed him hard on the lips. Sakura stared, and I knew I was staring, and everyone from my old class was staring. Sasuke stared at Sai, and both of them started smiling and I had no idea as to what the FUCK was going on.

Sai and Sasuke pulled away from each other laughing, and Sasuke put an arm over Sai's shoulder as he turned to me. "This guy's funny! Where'd you find him?"

The tension in the room disappeared and I was disappointed, not to mention disturbed.

"Uh…I work for him now."

Sasuke's eyes widened and he looked at Sai again. Sai smiled back. "Naruto is my assistant."

"Really?" Sasuke asked. He looked at me and I shrugged.

Sasuke removed his arm from Sai's shoulder. "So, ready for that audition?"

Sai smiled back. "You're looking to play L too, aren't you?"

I was almost lost, but I thought they were probably talking about the Deathnote audition.

"Sure am," Sasuke said. He turned back to Sakura. "I'm going to go wash out my mouth, and then do you want to walk around together?"

Sakura nodded. "Like old times?"

"Yeah." He turned back to me and whispered, "Get free for a while so we can talk to you." Sasuke left with that, and I honestly hoped he was going to wash his mouth out. Sasuke's gay, but kissing Sai is a whole different level of weirdness.

Hell, Sai didn't even have a soul.

I realized that we were alone, or rather that the three buffers called Iruka, Chouji, and Ino had left me to deal with Sai on my own, and he said, "Go get me some coffee."

"What?" I asked, glaring at him. He smiled. "I'm still paying you, Naruto."

I grumbled as I went to get him some damn coffee.

Sakura and Sasuke found me stirring sugar into his coffee. They each stood on either side of me, and I realized that they'd begun whatever it was that they'd wanted to do.

Back in high school, I was the guts of the operation. They were both the brains, and they were able to gain up on me back then because of it. I'd started to have a strong feeling of deja-vu.

"Naruto," Sakura said quietly.

"What?" I barked as I stirred in the sixth sugar packet.

Sasuke frowned at me. "What are you doing with Sai?"

I sighed. "Working for him, shit like that. You know, he gives me money, I do stuff for him…" I decided that two more ought to have done the trick.

Right after number eight, Sai found me at the coffee bar and I handed him his coffee. Sakura and Sasuke were still asking me ambiguous questions, and I was just waiting for them to start asking me which one of us was the catcher and how many kittens we had when Sai took a sip of the coffee and made a face. "Naruto, you know this isn't--"

He was about to tell me that there wasn't not enough sugar, but Sasuke suddenly pulled me away and Sakura followed us.

"Look," I said, pulling away from him. "I'm. Not. Screwing. Sai." I stared at both of them, waiting for that to sink in, and they stared back. Sakura laughed first.

"Um, I wasn't asking about that, but…how did you two meet?" she asked. "I mean, it's really…interesting…that you're working for someone like that. And you never told me either!"

Sasuke raised his eyebrows. HE had been asking about that, I knew he for sure. He let Sakura take the lead, though, probably saving the weirder questions for later.

"Why does it matter?" I hissed at both of them.

"Well," Sasuke said. "He's SAI, and--"

It seemed as though Sai had finished adding sugar to his coffee, because he walked over to me. "Naruto, when you make my coffee it should--"

Sasuke continued, whispering in my ear, trying to keep this interrogation a secret from Sai. "You just don't normally meet people like Sai, so how did you--"

In hindsight, if I had turned to Sai immediately and ignored Sasuke, instead of ignoring Sai and listening to Sasuke, the next few minutes of my life may have been very different.

As Sasuke tried to talk to me, and as Sakura waited, wanting to hear my story, Sai took a sip of coffee, turned my head, and spat coffee into my mouth.

Granted, it looked like a kiss, but it FELT like coffee, and I pushed him away immediately. Coffee spilled down both of our chins and necks, fading easily into the black of his shirt (which was probably still ruined, at least by his standards) and staining my orange shirt.

Sai smiled at me as he wiped coffee from his face with a napkin. "Naruto, THAT's how sweet I like my coffee," he said.

I stared at him. There are sometimes when I'm not sure if Sai if sneaky or just batshit insane, and this was definitely one of those times.

Sakura and Sasuke should have been staring at him, too, but they and everyone else who cared were staring at ME, Uzumaki Naruto, the guy who didn't do a damn thing.

I hate my boss, I really do.

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Notes:

Deathnote is a manga, an awesome manga which I have yet to read more than a few pages of. There are two main characters; one is L, a genius detective. His hair is black, by the way, so if you scuffed up Sai or Sasuke the right way they'd look like different versions of him. Deathnote has also been turned into a movie, though I don't think it's been released yet. I figured that two hot young actors could compete for the spot as L.


	2. My Oh My

The Us-Them Complex, Chapter Two

Pairings: NarutoSai

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Notes:

This is a double first-person point of view story. In other words, some of it is told by Naruto, and some of it is told by Sai.

Naruto

**Sai**

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I'm glad that no one said anything to me about Sai's kiss. I was embarrassed enough as it was, and I sure as hell didn't need someone else to point out the fact that I had been kissed by a guy in public. There was the possibility that everyone who'd seen the kiss kept their mouths shut because they'd already jumped to conclusions and decided that they didn't need to hear me refute what was blatantly obvious. I get no respect.

Sai, of course, didn't think he'd done anything wrong.

We were talking to Kiba when Sasuke strolled over. "Naruto," he said, drawing my attention away from Kiba.

I turned to face him, glad that I could concentrate on something other than Sai or the gross shit that Kiba was telling me about for a moment. "What' up?"

"I'm throwing a party at a place I rented out," he said. "You can bring Sai too, if you want."

I DIDN'T want but I had to.

"Sure," I said to him. Before he left, I added, "Thanks for inviting me."

He gave me a look, and I realized that he still wanted to talk to me when Sai wasn't there. I started to feel angry again, not just because of the coffee kiss, but because Sai had become an albatross around my neck and I wanted to be able to talk to my damned friends for a few minutes without him.

Kiba grinned at me. "Naruto, I'm glad that things are still okay between you and Sasuke. Everyone was freaking out around the end of senior year. I thought that you two were going to kill each other."

The combination of the words Naruto, Sasuke, and kill sets off little alarms in Sai's head, and I know that Kiba has said too damned much. "Kill each other?" Sai asked, looking at me in surprise. He smiled at me and turned back to Kiba. "Why would they ever do that?"

"Oh, Naruto didn't tell you?" I glare at Kiba, but I'm invisible whenever I'm next to Sai so he didn't catch my hints. Instead, Kiba took a deep breath and started to tell Sai one of the stories I'd never wanted him to hear.

"It's actually a pretty funny story. Naruto liked Sakura ever since middle school, but Sakura liked Sasuke for just as long, and it was pretty obvious to everyone."

"Oh," Sai said, "Sakura was that pretty girl with the pink hair, wasn't she?"

I glare at him. He has no right to call Sakura 'that pretty girl'. I'd prefer it if he didn't look at her, as I don't want her to get infected by his Sai germs and go crazy like him.

Kiba nodded and grinned as he continued. "Sasuke came out in senior year, and Sakura actually confessed to him AFTER that. He turned her down, of course, and the whole school heard about it because, well, it was a really strange thing for Sakura to do. Then Naruto over here--"

"You can shut up now, Kiba!" I growl at him.

Sai pats me on the back. "Settle down, it's getting good."

Kiba ignored me. "Naruto confessed to Sakura, and she turned him down. Then Naruto got pissed off, and none of them talked to each other until graduation day."

"Then what happened?" Sai asked. I don't get why he thinks this is so interesting. If he was a normal person he'd realize that this story was depressing and that it wasn't normal for him to want to hear it.

"Sasuke actually jumped Naruto right before graduation. They got into a fistfight and they walked across the stage with bruises all over their faces."

Sai frowned. "I don't get it. Why would Sasuke do that?"

I've had enough of this. "He wanted us to still be friends, okay? He didn't want all that stuff to get in the way of that and he was mad that I was alienating Sakura for turning me down. So we punched each other's lights out until Sakura found us, and we talked for so long that we were late to the ceremony. Everything turned out FINE after that, end of story."

"Calm down, Uzumaki," Kiba said. He looked at me like I was crazy, but Kiba did not understand that it was unsafe to trust Sai with that kind of information. "It's not like it's a bad story or anything. Hell, it's pretty damn interesting. I and Shino were talking about it earlier."

"This makes you feel nostalgic, doesn't it?" Sai asked him. I frowned at Sai. He had no right to talk about nostalgia, not MY nostalgia and memories.

He didn't belong at the reunion, but there was nothing I could do to get rid of him.

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I drove Sai over to the party at Sasuke's place soon after that. Sakura handed out directions to almost everyone in the gym, and I suddenly didn't feel so special for being invited by Sasuke.

Sai hummed along to the song on the radio as I drove. He has a nice singing voice, though I'll never tell him that, and he told me once that he was thinking about trying the music industry. Sai never followed up on it, though.

Besides his singing, he was pretty quiet in the car. I was glad that he was holding back whatever he wanted to say to me then, because it would be dangerous for me to argue with him while I drove.

"Hey, Naruto," he said as I pulled into a parking spot near Sasuke's place.

"Yeah?"

Sai turned to me, and he watched me for a moment, as if he wasn't sure of what it was that he wanted to say. The blank look was back on his face, and I knew that that look sometimes meant that he was thinking, or that he wasn't sure of what to do.

He smiled at me after a moment. "It's nothing."

I rolled my eyes at him, and when we were out of the car I said, "Don't get my attention and act all serious and then not tell me anything."

"I'm sorry, Naruto."

This caught my attention. Sai almost never apologizes, and I realize that maybe he had caught my hints through the day, and they'd piled up on him and he couldn't stand it anymore, even if I'd only acted that way towards him because of the way he acted towards me.

I stared at him before narrowing my eyes. "For what?" The question is really more like, 'Which thing are you apologizing for' but I don't want to word it that way.

Sai walked around the car, and to my surprise he said, "We'll split up at the party. I want you to talk to your friends without me there."

I blinked at him, and he just smiled back.

"Thanks," I said, not sure if anything else was appropriate. I was somewhat confused by his behavior, but hell, he'd given me a chance to talk to my old friends alone and I wasn't going to waste it by getting into a lengthy, annoying conversation about him. I figured that if he had decided to let me do what I wanted to do, that it would be best for me to take that chance and make the most of it.

He followed me to the building, and he was silent in the elevator, too. This disturbed me, but I tried to not let it ruin the mood. I was also curious about what Sakura and Sasuke wanted to talk to me about, especially since they didn't want Sai to be there when we talked about it.

As soon as the elevator opened I knew that my respect my Sasuke up to that point had been seriously lacking. He'd really gone all-out with this party; there was special lighting, a DJ, dessert tables, a Jacuzzi, and I think I even saw a few of his actor friends sitting in little clusters.

Sakura found me when I stepped out of the elevator, and Sai smiled at me before walking off by himself. I let Sakura drag me away and I forgot about Sai.

She took me to the bar first. "You like Sasuke's party?" she asked. I looked around and laughed. "I haven't been here long, but it's better than any party I've ever been to. Where's that ugly bastard anyway?"

The bartender popped out of nowhere, and Sakura tugged on his sleeve. "I'll have an apple martini," she said. I flinched, my natural reaction to anything that reminds me of Sai, before turning to the bartender and saying, "Anything not girly. Beer, vodka, sake, whatever, just no girl drinks."

He turned around and I repeated my question. "Where's Sasuke?"

Sakura shrugged. "He's, you know, making the rounds and stuff. There are a lot of people for him to talk to, but he said he'd free himself up soon so that he can talk to us."

"Oh," I said, slightly disappointed. I thought that I'd been chained to Sai, but Sasuke had other obligations as well. I realized that they may have been talking to each other, and I scanned the floor, looking for the color black.

The bartender set our drinks down, and Sakura began to sip hers gracefully. I took my shot of vodka in one hit before slamming the glass down on the counter and she laughed, giving me her big smile for the first time that evening.

"You're still…you," she said with a laugh. My chest started to feel warm, and she probably got the same feeling too, because we're not drunk yet but we're still grinning at each other like idiots. I feel like I've come home, and all the tension I've acquired from my time with Sai drains away and I laugh, putting my head down on the counter.

Everything is…good.

"I missed you."

I look up and Sakura's still smiling at me. She looks like she's about to cry and I'm getting the same feeling too. All of those feelings and memories from high school come back, and I'm far too immersed in them to care about anything else.

There was a Frisbee club back in high school. Ultimate Frisbee, of course, not the kind that people play with their dogs. Most of the members were guys, but there were a few girls there too, including Sakura and Hinata. I was the one who invited Sakura, and she came when I dropped Sasuke's name.

She really sucked at Frisbee.

I always made a point of passing her the Frisbee when I had it, even if I had to throw it really softly, and she almost never caught it but she always looked so happy when I turned to her. No one else on my team threw to Sakura. Hinata probably would have, but the girls were always separated to keep the teams 'even'. Hinata was much better than Sakura, though, so they COULD have been on the same team now that I think about it.

I remember the time that I confessed to Sakura. She was sullen after Sasuke turned her down, but I still liked her, and I thought that it would have been really pathetic for her to have the courage to ask out a gay guy and for me to not have the courage to ask out a girl who plainly didn't like me. I stopped her in the hall one day after school and she listened to me.

When I was done, she shook her head and hugged me. I took this as a good sign at first, but I felt something wet on my neck and I realized she was crying. The first thing she said was, 'I'm so sorry, Naruto,' and I pulled her off of me and I didn't talk to her for months. Those were some of the worst times of my life, but looking back I enjoyed those years and I'm glad that I confessed to her.

Sakura hugged me again at the bar, and I hugged her patted her on the back. "I glad that we could see each other again," she said.

"Me too, Sakura," I whispered. I'm getting choked up, but it still feels good somehow. I held on until she pulled away.

I'm never going to push them away again.

Sakura laughed when we separated. "Well," she said, wiping tears from her face, "wow. I didn't think that would happen."

I tap my shot glass on the bar. "If we're crying, we're not drunk enough," I say through my old goofy grin.

"Naruto," she said, laughing at me, "you're a dork."

And I am.

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**I watched Naruto's old friend Sakura pull him away, and I sighed as I thought of ways to occupy myself until I could go back to the hotel with him later. I know that he might drink himself into a stupor tonight, so I've decided not to drink tonight, even if a White Russian might help to take the edge off.**

**I did not see Nara Shikamaru at the reunion, or if I did I didn't recognize him. I didn't want to bother Naruto any more by asking him about the designer, so I held back my questions and just listened for his name.**

**I've caught a few eyes since my entrance, and there are people staring at me from all sides, some wondering if I'm really Sai, others wondering why I'm here. I know that some of the alumni here probably think that I came with Sasuke.**

**Sasuke. I've honestly wanted to meet him for quite some time, and I wonder why Naruto never told me he knew him.**

**There's a possibility that there was some kind of relationship between Naruto and Sasuke that has not come to light yet. Naruto has never shown an interest in men, though, so it's doubtful. Still, it's a possibility, and I'd like to look into this.**

**I found Sasuke rather quickly. He was talking to a lazy-looking man with brown hair and a few ear piercings. The man was dressed rather casually, considering that he was at a party thrown by Sasuke; he was wearing a black shirt, khaki pants, and a green vest.**

**Sasuke spotted me and he smiled at me welcomingly. I accept this peace offer and walk over to him. I know that he took the kiss as a hit, and I eagerly await to see his next move. If I'm not mistaken, he took the kiss as I intended it: a challenge. Sasuke is smart, so I don't expect him to strike soon. He'll probably wait until I've forgotten the kiss, and then he'll make his move.**

"**Hello, Sasuke," I said as I joined him and his lazy-looking companion. The brown-haired man was drinking a beer and he narrowed his eyes when he saw me. I knew what he was thinking: 'Where have I seen him?'. This is most men's reaction to seeing me, and I think it's rather funny.**

**Sasuke pointed to me. "Shikamaru, this is Sai. Sai, this is Shikamaru."**

**My eyes lit up and I held out my hand. Shikamaru shakes it and I grin at him. "Nara Shikamaru, the designer?"**

**He nodded. "You're that actor, right?"**

**I laughed at him. "Yes, but I'd like it if we could talk about you. It has come to my attention that you haven't started a men's line, and I'd like to persuade you to, if that's at all possible."**

**He gave me a strange look, and I know that he thinks I'm cocky and arrogant and a big-headed actor. I look over his clothes and, against my better judgment, I say, "Seeing how you dress, I understand why you haven't started the men's line."**

**There is something very wrong with me. I seem to be unable to differentiate 'rude' things from interesting things. I personally think that it is very interesting for a famous fashion designer to dress badly. When I think about it, and I have to think for an extended period of time, I see that some of my comments may sound rude, but I always have the best of intentions.**

**Shikamaru glared at me and I find myself laughing. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" he asked.**

"**Come on, Shika, you know you actors are…" Sasuke said, trying to calm down his high school friend. I realize that I may have made things hard for him, too, so I bow my head in apology.**

"**I'm truly sorry," I said, though I know that Nara doesn't believe it. "I simply thought that the reason for the lack of the men's line was interesting, once I found it."**

"**Well, it's not all that interesting," he spat.**

**I smiled at him. I don't want to let this opportunity go. "If it would help, I'd like to work on the line with you. I myself have been anxiously awaiting your men's line," I said.**

**He looked shocked. "You…you were waiting for it?"**

"**Yes, of course."**

**I'm thankful that I managed to say something decent for once, because Nara's animosity and his scowl were immediately replaced with a look of smugness. "Well, we'll exchange numbers and I'll see if we can do something," he said.**

**My name, the name I have chosen since I became an actor, is really quite useful. If I was still Airisagawa Satoshi, no one would care if I was waiting desperately for the Nara line to come out. No one would stare at me from across the room. No one would ask for my autograph.**

**And there would be no grumbling blonde following me around, making sure that I didn't screw up my life with the things that I am oft to do.**

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Sasuke found us at the bar about fifteen minutes later. I was on my fourth drink, and there was no way I was driving home that night. Sakura had paced herself, and she was sipping her second drink casually when Sasuke tapped both of us on the shoulder.

The warm feeling came back into my chest, and I smiled at him like the drunken idiot that I was when he pointed over his shoulder.

"There are a few rooms we can talk in," he said over the music. Sakura and I followed him across the dance floor, and I saw Sai for a moment. He was talking to Shikamaru and they were both laughing.

Well, what do you know. I guess the jackass actually CAN get along with some people.

We found an empty room and I locked the door behind us. Sakura sat down on the bed, and Sasuke pulled up two chairs, one for him and one for me. I turned my chair around and sat in it backwards, waiting for someone to say something.

"You're both _drunk_," Sasuke said as soon as he'd had a good look at both of us.

Sakura pouted at him. "That's not fair! And I didn't even finish two drinks! Naruto is another story, of course."

I slumped forward and let my head fall and I raised my hand in the air and waved obnoxiously. "Uzumaki, present!"

They both fell silent, and I looked up, confused. Why weren't they talking? My fear that they're dating comes back suddenly, and I swallow nervously, waiting for one of them to say something.

Sasuke turned to me. "Naruto, seriously, what are you doing with Sai?"

"Doing with him?" I frowned at him. Hadn't I made that clear already? "I'm his assistant. You know what that means."

"How'd you meet him?" Sakura asked, completely serious.

I looked at both of them. They must have lost their damned minds, or maybe there was something going on that I wasn't aware of. I couldn't find one reason for their concern over my employer's identity.

He was just SAI, for god's sake.

"I went in for an interview, you know," I said to Sakura after I decided that they really, really we asking me about this. "And I got the job, and it turned out to be for him. That's it."

She frowned at me. "So, you didn't know that you were applying to work for him?"

"No, I didn't. I answered an anonymous ad in the paper after I quit working for Sasuke." I stole a glance at Sasuke, and his eyes narrowed a little. He hasn't told me what's bothering him yet, and it's pissing me off, watching him get worked up without saying anything.

"Spit it out, Uchiha!" I growled at him.

He glared at me. "If you wanted to work as an assistant, why didn't you keep working for me?"

I sit back, thinking that over. Sasuke looks away, and I know he's uncomfortable and that he feels vulnerable. I hadn't realized that Sasuke might have wanted to have me close to him, and that he might have preferred having a friend work for him over a stranger.

"Look," I said, trying to not give him the wrong idea, "I just couldn't let you pay for me all my life. If I was still working for you, that's how it would be. I'd rather see you on a daily basis, than see Sai, but I can't work for you."

I know he's not satisfied with that, and I probably wouldn't be either, but at the same time I can't let them carry me. Sakura and Sasuke always made sure my grades were decent in school, and Sasuke gave me rides all the time, and Sakura even invited me as her not-boyfriend-date on a few of the group date Chouji and Ino went on before they started go out for real. They always made sure that I was doing okay, but I learned how to take care of myself during college and I wasn't ready to go back to being their needy friend.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, and I was afraid that they would just walk out of the room. I was afraid that they were fed up with me, and I've always known that they never liked the way I lived my life.

"Okay," Sasuke said after what felt like hours. "If that's why, then it's okay."

Sakura nodded. "And you didn't…try to work for him."

"Of course not!" I spat. "I hate Sai. My life is decent because I work for him, but I would never try to make a friend out of him."

"Well," Sakura said, "if you hate him, then why are you working for him?"

I glared at her and Sasuke, because I know what they're thinking. "Like I said, the money is good, and it's something I can handle."

"You could do better," Sasuke said. I open my mouth to ask him what that means when he hands me a business card. "Look, if you ever want to quit working for him, just call me. You don't have to work for me or anything, but we can hang out. You shouldn't have to stick around Sai if you don't want to."

Sakura nodded and drew out her own business card. "Same here. I don't make as much as Sasuke, but you can come live with me."

I took the cards and shoved them in my pocket. "Are you going to call all your friends over for a sleepover?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

She smacked the side of my head. "Don't get any perverted ideas."

"Well," Sasuke said as he stood up, pushing his chair to the wall, "I need to go tend to my guests."

Sakura stood up, steadying herself on her feet. Maybe she was lying about how much she had to drink? "I'll go find Ino," she said.

Sasuke threw me a glance. "You coming, Dead-Last?"

I waved them off. "I'll stay here for a minute. Just to settle my head, you know."

"Whatever you say," he said as he left the room.

To my surprise, Sakura ducked down and kissed me on the cheek before she left. "Take care of yourself, okay?" she asked.

I watched her leave before I flopped down on the bed.

I dozed off for a while, and I was woken up when some drunk chick wandered into the room. She smiled at me.

"You're Naruto, right?" she asked me.

I sat up in bed and looked her over. Damn, she looked like a model, with long black hair and pale skin.

"Yeah," I choked out.

She sat down on the bed next to me. "You're cute…"

I liked where this was going.

"What's your name?" I asked her.

"Akuri," she said. "Just call me Akuri."

I was rather drunk at the time, so I don't remember exactly what happened during the next ten minutes, other than the fact that it ended with me naked and tied down to the bed and her straddling me. Things were going really well.

She smiled at me. "Little Naruto, you've been a bad boy and I've come here to punish you."

I smiled back. I was so drunk that I couldn't even remember her name.

She slipped off of me and started to put her clothes back on. I strained against the ropes holding me down as I tried to figure out what was happening.

"Why are you getting dressed?" I asked in horror. She slipped her shoes back on and said, "Because I'm leaving."

"WHAT?"

She laughed. "Someone wanted to pay you back for something. You did some mean things in high school, didn't you?" She walked over to the bed and kissed me on the forehead before walking right out the door. She didn't even close it all the way!

I started to panic. I did not want to get caught like this, not by anyone other than Sasuke or Sakura that is, because they'd just help me out and laugh at me later, when I'd think it was funny too.

I heard the door open and I panicked when Sai entered the room, a look of genuine surprise on his smug little face.

FUCK!

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	3. Alarm

The Us-Them Complex, Chapter Three

Pairings: NarutoSai

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Notes:

This is a double first-person point of view story. In other words, some of it is told by Naruto, and some of it is told by Sai.

Naruto

**Sai**

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"Get the fuck out!"

Sai blinked at me, his eyes not exactly focused on my face, and he shut the door behind him. I glared at him. "What the fuck are you doing!" I shouted as he leaned back against the door.

He gave me the 'teacher-talking-down-to-the-student' look and asked, "You want me to untie you, don't you? Or is the person who did this going to come back soon, and you would like to remain like that for them?"

Oh, dear god, he's crazy. No normal person would be able to react like this.

I tore my eyes away from him and stared at the wall on my left side, hoping that he'd have the decency to ignore my erection, or at least to not talk about it. "Yeah, sure, just do it fast!" I snapped at him, my face burning. God damn it, why did HE have to see me like this? I'm going to catch shit for this for weeks…months…maybe longer…

He walked over to the bed and leaned across me to untie my right wrist. I glanced up at his face and I realized that he wasn't smiling like I thought he'd be. Instead, he looked…troubled.

Sai's eyes found mine then and I glared at him on reflex. He smiled then, but it still wasn't the smug smile I was used to. The smile faded and he walked around the bed to start untying one of my ankles. I began to untie my other wrist.

"Naruto," Sai said suddenly. He didn't look up from the rope around my ankle, and he continued to work calmly.

I returned my attention to my own knot. "Yeah?" I asked, wishing he wouldn't say anything or make a big deal out of my predicament.

Sai kept his eyes down. "I can take care of you, you know."

I narrowed my eyes as I freed my wrist. "What?" I snapped at him. Stupid cryptic Sai.

"I can suck you off."

And, as if nothing strange had been said, he started to untie the last knot.

Something welled up inside of me. Fury, anger, yeah, there were THOSE things, but something else too. So many things ran through my head right then…I wanted to shout at him, to grab him, to hurt him, to find some way to get it through his head that I wasn't that way, that I didn't appreciate being harassed by him all the time, that that was TOO far…I stared at him, and my hands began to shake.

I wanted to hurt Sai; for the first time, I genuinely wanted to hurt him.

As I tried to find some way to express these feelings to Sai, because I really, really didn't want to put up with that crap anymore and it seemed like that was a good time to tell him, he finished untying my ankle and he sat on the bed, not close enough to me to have infuriated me if I was actually dressed. He faced the wall, and laid his hands in his lap calmly.

"We'll never have to talk about it again. You won't have to reciprocate, and I won't go any farther than that. We don't have to kiss. You don't have to like me. Just, if you want me to, I will."

I stared at Sai, blown away. Words finally found there way from my brain to my vocal chords, and the first thing I said was, "What the FUCK?"

Sai turned around and blinked at me as I got off the bed. "Naruto?" he asked softly, his brow furrowing.

My clothes! I found my wonderful, wonderful clothes on the floor, where that Aruki girl left them, GOD DAMN HER WHOEVER SHE WAS, and I pulled my boxers on with all of my drunken grace. I kept my back to Sai, silently fuming, still unable to talk to Sai, and my face burned. I started to think of other places I could look for work, now that Sai would fire me…

Shit, I should have known it would come to this, seeing as how he was always hitting on me, and how he always wanted me to be around…

I spun around to look at Sai, to make sure he wasn't about to try anything, and I found that he had his back to me again.

I suddenly felt guilty, but I hadn't done anything wrong, so this just made me feel even angrier. My rage overtook me and I leapt onto the bed, tackling Sai and pinning him down by his shoulders.

He blinked back up at me and smiled as if he was enjoying the attack. "I knew you would probably say no, but I just wanted to offer. I know you don't like me."

"No shit I don't like you, you fucking fag!" I shouted, pushing him harder against the bed. I'd forgotten how easily he bruised then, and I held him down in a death grip, my furious eyes boring into his cool eyes.

Sai's smile dropped from his face. "Well, then that's that. I won't offer you that again. I didn't know that you had a problem with the fact that I was gay, though."

I DON"T have a problem with it, but I felt like shit for saying that to him. He knew that I was drunk, and that my ex-best friend was gay, and hell, I knew that Sai was gay from the first time that I saw him and I'd never really said anything like that before, but…but he….

I lowered my face. "I don't give a shit about that! It's what you…that's too fucking far!" I shouted, pushing myself away from him and standing over him, next to the bed. "Like…" I turned around and threw my hands up in the air. "Never mind. It's you, so there's no use explaining it, because you still won't think that you've done anything wrong."

"I know I did something wrong." Sai said softly.

I spun back around to see him looking at me apologetically. "I really did," he continued. "Well, I knew you wouldn't like it, but I hoped you would."

"That doesn't make ANY god damn sense!" I shouted back. He nodded and sighed.

I knew it. I knew I wouldn't be able to get it through to him. This is just the way that Sai is, and I can't expect anything else from him.

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**I nodded and sighed. Naruto was still fuming, but he'd calmed down considerably in those few moments of silence. He was clearly inebriated, but I'd come to expect that and it wasn't something that I minded anyway.**

"**Well," I said, trying to make peace, "would you like to return to the party now?"**

**He stared at me for a moment before bringing his hand to his forehead, showing that the alcohol had really started to take its toll. "No, I feel like shit. Let's go back to the hotel…I'll just call up Sasuke later when I'm not trashed."**

**Naruto stood there for a while longer, holding his head in his hands, so I decided to take charge. I stood up and walked over to him, making sure to leave a little distance between us so that he wouldn't think that I was trying to invade his personal space. "Do you have the keys?" I asked him, knowing full well that he did.**

**He pulled his hands away from his face and started to pat his jacket down, looking for the keys. When he found them, he handed them to me, and we just looked at each other for a moment.**

**I had gone too far.**

**I could see it in his eyes—how he did not trust me, how he expected my next move to be just as bad as my last one. Naruto has never had a high opinion of me, and I know there are several good reasons for that, reasons that I've found over the years after talking to other people and receiving…feedback.**

**This hurts me more than anything in the world, because I know I deserve this mistrust. I have no desire to hurt, scare, or manipulate him.**

**Naruto means too much to me, for me to want to use him like that.**

**I took the keys and smiled at him. "I'll go wait in the car while you say goodbye to your friends."**

**He looked a little surprised, but he rubbed the back of his neck and let out a breath he'd been holding. "Sure," Naruto replied, "just don't get kidnapped on your way out."**

**I nodded and left him in the room.**

**I caught some looks on the way out. I would not have noticed but for the fact that I was looking for Sasuke in the crowd. I had wanted to talk to him again, but I knew that I had at least a few years ahead of me so I decided that it would be better to leave him alone for now.**

**He'd search me out on his own.**

**When I left the building, I realized that I didn't remember where Naruto had parked the rental car. The car key contained a panic button, though, and I realized right then that I had never before had the pleasure of setting off a car's alarm system.**

**So, of course, I pressed the panic button.**

**It only made sense.**

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After I left the room, I looked around for Sasuke and Sakura. I found them chatting up Hinata together, as expected.

Damn, are they dating now?

I'll ask them later. It wasn't a good time; I was stressed out enough as it was, after talking to the psychopath.

Sakura saw me first, and she waved me over. Sasuke nodded at me coolly, and when Hinata turned around she covered her mouth with her hands and her eyes went wide.

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, I get it, I work for Sai and she wants his damned autograph, right?

"Naruto!" Hinata shouted. To my surprise, she hugged me, and it wasn't one of those girly hugs…hell, it was a NICE hug.

Did I know her back in high school or something?

After standing still for an awkward second, I shrugged it off and patted her on the back. "Hinata!" I shouted over the loud music. "It's so good to see you!"

She pulled away from me and smiled broadly. "Really? I'm glad to see you, too!"

Damn, one surprise after another. I didn't think anyone would have remembered me after high school, at least not in a good way that would make them want to see me again.

Sasuke tapped me on the shoulder. "Hinata's cousin, Neji, is going to participate in the National tournament in a few weeks. You remember Neji, right?"

"Yeah!" I shouted, turning back to Hinata. "Wow, Neji's THAT good? I mean, I DID kick his ass once back in high school…"

She smiled. "Yeah, and I have an extra ticket!"

Huh?

Hinata blushed and she covered her face for a moment before continuing. "I mean, Neji gave me two tickets, so I could bring a d-date, and I want you to come if you're not busy!"

I stared at her. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Sakura covering her mouth and giggling. Sasuke watched me calmly, waiting for my answer.

I shook myself out of my stupor and I took Hinata's hands. "Sure, I'd like to go!" I shouted over the music. "I've never seen a real match before, you know, not like the high school ones!"

Hinata's face lit up. "O-okay!" she shouted back, and she froze for a moment before opening up her purse and pulling out, you guessed it, a business card. "Just say your name is Naruto," she said after I looked the card over. "You should be able to get through!"

I put the card in my pocket with Sakura's and Sasuke's, and I smiled back. "Great! It's a date, then!"

She nodded. "Yeah! I can't wait!"

We stared at each other like idiots and then, I remembered Sai.

"Shit!" I shouted right into Hinata's face like the drunken bastard that I was. "Uh…" I looked at Sakura and Sasuke, who stared back at me as if to say, 'do-not-curse-at-the-girl-who-just-asked-you-out-with-your-alcohol-breath' and I blurted out, "I need to go! Sai's waiting for me!"

Sasuke laughed. "Chill out! It's not like he's going to get…KIDNAPPED…if you make him wait for a moment!"

"Oh!" Sakura shouted. "Maybe he will! Sasuke has a few stalkers himself…."

My eyes widened. "Oh shit!" I shouted. I waved at Hinata and then I ran from the party.

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**The alarm went off beautifully, and I found the car in twenty seconds. The miracle of electronic car keys.**

**The only problem with this strategy was that four security guards from the building Sasuke was renting found my car in twenty-two seconds, right after I had dropped the keys while trying to open the driver's side door.**

"**Freeze!" one of them shouted. He drew his gun on me. "Put your hands up in the air!"**

**I complied, of course, and I waited for the next order.**

"**Hey," another security guard said, "isn't that Sai?"**

"**Who's Sai?" another asked.**

"**Sai, the actor?" the first security guard asked, though I didn't seem to be a part of the conversation.**

**I nodded. "Yes, and I was just trying to get into my car," I said over the alarm. I decided that that was probably all the other information they needed, so I bent over to pick up the keys and I turned off the alarm.**

**The first security guard put his gun away. "So, you used the panic button to find your car?"**

"**Yes," I said. "My friend drove the car over here, but he's drunk right now, so I offered to drive for him."**

**He blinked at me. "So this friend…where is he?"**

"**He's still inside. I offered to wait for him in the car."**

**The security guard frowned. "Well, do you have the receipt for the rental?"**

**I realized that I didn't know what he was talking about. Naruto is the one who always thinks about things like that; even if the receipt was in the car, I wouldn't have known what it looked like.**

**I shook my head. "My friend knows where it is. He should be here soon, though. Would it be alright for you to wait for him?"**

**I don't like to be suspected of crimes that I haven't committed, or things that I haven't done in general. That situation did not sit well with me, and I didn't know what I would have done if I couldn't convince the security guards that I had not stolen the keys from someone at the party and tried to take their car.**

**As the security guard opened his mouth to reply, my drunken assistant walked past him and the other security guards, staring at them in confusion, before glaring at me. "What's up? Do you need me to tell you how to get in a car?" he asked.**

**Naruto looked tired, and a little out of breath. I stared at him for a moment before making a point of ignoring his question and instead asking, "Do you have the receipt for the car rental?"**

**He gave me a look, then took the keys from my hand and opened the passenger-side door. After searching the glove compartment for a moment, he pulled out a few papers and gave them to me.**

**The security guard immediately took the papers out of my hand. "Who is this….Uzumaki Naruto?" he asked, looking at me over the paper.**

**Naruto frowned and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, opening it to show his ID. "That's me, and this is my rental. Is there a problem?"**

**The security guard looked from Naruto's ID to the papers for a moment before handing the receipt back to Naruto. "No, young man," he said, touching the tip of his cap as he walked away with the other officers. "Sorry for the trouble, and be sure to drive safely."**

**Naruto glared at them as they walked away before handing the keys back to me. I watched him get in the car silently before I walked around to the driver's side and opened the door for myself. Naruto fumbled with his seatbelt in the dark and I helped him close the buckle.**

**He froze then, and stared at me. I pulled my hand away as soon as the buckle was clasped and I put the key in the ignition, not taking the time to buckle my own seatbelt. Naruto slumped back in his chair and closed his eyes.**

**Neither of us said anything on the drive back to the hotel. I turned on the radio and found a rock station, just to cover up the silence.**

**If Naruto was afraid of my driving, he didn't say anything. That night was actually the first drive I had taken in a few years, but the roads were rather empty at that time of the night so I didn't have much trouble getting back to the hotel.**

**When I pulled into our parking spot at the hotel, Naruto sat up quickly and unbuckled his seat belt as if to make sure that I wouldn't try to do it for him. He got out of the car and slammed his door shut before I had even opened mine, and I sat in the car for a moment before leaving as well. I closed my door softly and I followed him back to our room, making sure to stay a few steps behind him.**

**Well, I guess that that night was a learning experience for me.**

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I washed my hands as soon as we got back to the room.

Sai TOUCHED me when he helped me with my seatbelt.

I'd thought that I could let the whole 'blowjob' thing go, but he just kept picking at me, and he got close again, and there are some things that I can't stand for. One of those things is Sai's love of bothering the HELL out of me.

I heard him enter the bedroom while I was drying my hands. He stood in the doorway of the bathroom and watched me for a moment.

"I'm sorry," Sai finally said. I put my hands on the counter and stared at the sink, waiting for him to finish. He didn't move for a moment, as if he was waiting for me to say something.

Sai was my boss.

We really weren't friends. We didn't like each other. We weren't civil with each other.

So I don't know why the next thing that came out of my mouth was, "Thanks."

It hurt me to say that, and I felt like a little of my pride left me then, and like my tongue had betrayed me, because I had NOT forgiven him, and I wouldn't forget anything that crazy bastard pulled that night.

Sai nodded and he left the doorway. I washed my face and left the bathroom to grab a pair of pajamas.

When I came back into the room, Sai was watching some variety show, sitting on his bed with his legs stretched out in front of him, one hand in his lap and the other holding the remote. His expression was completely neutral, the way that I was used to seeing it.

I threw myself down onto my own bed and turned over so that I was laying on my side, facing away from him. The television lit up the entire room, and I watched the light play on the wall I was facing.

I pulled my blanket over my body and turned onto my back in time to see Sai turn off the television. He turned off the light next and settled back down onto his bed.

"Goodnight, Naruto," Sai told me in his soft voice. I nodded and closed my eyes.

I wish that I had never slept that night.

I think that I started to dream as soon as I closed my eyes, because the first thing that I did in my dream was get out of the bed in our hotel room. Sai was gone, and there was only one bed in the room. I remembered that I was supposed to go to my high school reunion…yeah, I was just dreaming about stuff from the day before, and I should have realized that it was a dream because I kept thinking, 'Didn't I already go to that shit?' but, of course, I kept doing what my dream wanted me to do.

I drove to the reunion in my rental car, and I don't remember drinking anything but I know that I felt drunk when I got to my old school. Sakura and Sasuke met me when I arrived, but when I tried to talk to them Sasuke put his arm over Sakura's shoulder and started to kiss Sakura's neck.

I stared at them and they stared back, as if nothing had happened, and I pushed Sasuke as hard as I could before stomping into the school gym. They followed me and started to yell at me, and when I tried to run from them they caught me and shut me in a closet. I banged on the door, but no one answered, and I couldn't hear anything.

After a few minutes of trying to beat down the door, I turned around and found a naked guy in there with me. He had black hair and pretty black eyes and soft lips and he was only a little taller than me, or so it looked when he walked over to me and stood face to face with me. My body froze and I fell backward, and I was no longer in an imaginary closet in my old school's gym.

I looked around and found that I was back in the room I use at Sai's place, and my body was still frozen. Sai climbed onto the bed and I realized that we were both naked now, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of him; I wanted to see the things that I didn't want to see, and I wanted to do the things that I didn't want to do.

He didn't smile at me. Instead, he crawled over to me and whispered, "Naruto," and it was the sexiest thing I'd ever heard.

Sai kissed me and I _wanted _it, and I wanted more, too.

I touched his face and he pulled away. I looked at his body, the body I'd seen when he sat on his hotel bed naked while he was waiting for me to bring him a towel, while I traced his neck and his back with my hands.

He leaned in and whispered into my ear, "So, you didn't count the bills I gave you?"

I stared at him in confusion. Of course I counted the bills! I'm not retarded after all! I didn't know what he was talking about but he had no right to assume that I hadn't counted the damn bills!

Sai smiled. "You counted them, all right."

I nodded. "Don't you ever fucking think that I didn't count the bills. I knew what you gave me, Sai, you fucking four-eyes."

I've said a lot of things in my dreams that don't make sense. I once dreamt about failing a math test, and all the questions on the test were related to ramen ingredients…and then, when I tried to hand the test in to my teacher, they asked my how many baseball bats it took to fill a ramune before Christmas.

So I was just satisfied to hear Sai repeat, "You counted them, all right."

I kissed him this time, and it felt good, even though it was gross, or maybe because it was gross. Now that he'd admitted that he was wrong, and all of that was cleared up, I couldn't take my attention away from his body. Sai was perfect, and he was what I needed.

I grabbed his shoulder and pushed his face down into my lap. He smiled at me before taking my cock into his mouth, and I thrust back up as hard as I could, grabbing the back of his head as my eyes squeezed shut.

It felt like heaven.

I woke up with a start. My breathing was ragged and my bed was a mess. I slipped my hand down past my sheets and my pants and I found that my cock was just as hard in reality as it had been in my dream.

My body started to shake when I heard Sai turn in his sleep in the bed across the room. I ripped the sheets off my body and stumbled into the bathroom, where I tore off my clothes.

As I started the shower, I saw myself in the mirror and I was disgusted by how turned on I was. I'm a grown man, and I know that it's normal to be turned on by strange things now and then, or to have fetishes, but I never thought that I would be one of those guys…

I'm not gay.

I'm straight.

This does nothing to explain how aroused I was by that dream of Sai.

I climbed into the shower and pulled the curtain shut before leaning against the wall. I was dizzy and sleepy then, but I was so turned on right now that I didn't care. What disgusted me even more was that it wasn't just my cock; my brain had been turned on.

"Sai," I whispered, and it hurt.

I closed my eyes and tried to remember my dream; Sai naked on the bed he's letting me use back at his apartment, down on his knees with his face in my crotch. It was too good, and I couldn't hold back any longer.

As much as I hated it, I was ready to come.

I started to jerk off and I kept the image in my head going. To make myself feel better, I thought some things like 'Sai's so girly, and he's such a fag, that he'd be good at sucking cock' and 'Take that, Sai' but I still knew that it was me that I was mad at.

I closed my hand around my cock and sagged against the wall when I came, relishing in my orgasm. The water suddenly felt too hot, so I turned the temperature down and cleaned off my body.

When I returned to my bed, I felt like shit. I couldn't look at Sai, so I turned onto my side and pulled the blanket over my head.

It was almost morning.

Too damn early, or too damn late.

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I awoke about two hours later to the sound of my cell phone ringing. I found it in my jeans and answered it quickly, hoping that it hadn't woken Sai.

"What?" I barked in my morning voice. I coughed a little to clear my throat.

"So you came back into town, and you didn't call me? Come on, kid, that's just rude."

I sat up in bed. "Kakashi?" I asked. I knew that I'd raised my voice so I looked around the room for Sai, hoping that he wouldn't become interested in my call and try to take my phone from me.

He wasn't there.

I turned my attention back to my old mentor, who was waiting on the phone. "Man, Kakashi, how've you been?" I asked.

He laughed. "Fine, the same as usual. Iruka told me that you're working for some famous actor?"

I blinked. "Iruka? You're still talking to Iruka?"

"I see that he didn't tell you. I moved in with him a few years ago."

My heart stopped beating as that sank in. "You…and Iruka….?"

"Yes, Naruto. We're involved in a sexual relationship."

"Oh," I said. I felt like an idiot; hell, Kakashi was using his patronizing voice (which just meant that he was intentionally trying to sound even more bored than usual) so I decided not to ask too much.

I've been out of all of their lives; it's not right for me to pry anymore.

"Okay," I said with a sigh. "He didn't say anything about it last night, so I didn't…." I sighed again.

"From what I heard, you didn't talk much to anyone last night. Your high school reunion is a big deal, you know. It's important to keep your old friends, Naruto."

"Yeah, I know," I said. I didn't want to listen to one of Kakashi's spiels about how I'm supposed to live my life, so I tried to brush over it. "So when did you and Iruka get together?" I asked with as much enthusiasm as I could.

"Shortly after your graduation. Naruto, I'd like it if I could see you before you go back to…." he trailed off, waiting for me to fill in the blank.

"I'm in Tokyo now," I said. "I'm kind of sort of liv--"

Right then, the door to our room opened. My eyes shot over to the man who entered the room. Sai was wearing black, as usual, and he was holding two cups of coffee. I tore my eyes from him and turned away from him.

I still couldn't bear to look at him.

I lowered my voice and turned back to my phone call. "I'm kind of living with my boss right now," I said as softly as I could. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sai sit down at the table in our room as he started to add sugar to one of the cups of coffee. It was obviously not plain coffee; it was the stuff that already has cream and sugar and syrup in it, but I guess that stuff wasn't quite enough for him.

"Well, come over to Iruka's place before you leave. You should know better than to try to avoid your family."

I rolled my eyes and whispered, "You're not my family, Kakashi."

"I always felt like we were, Naruto. Iruka feels the same way."

"Well, aren't I so glad that I can have two gay dads," I said sarcastically. Sai perked up and raised his eyebrows.

Shit.

I stared at Sai for a moment, but he turned away and put the lid back on his coffee without saying a word. Even after he'd stopped looking at me, I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

I felt so damn perverted right then. I couldn't stop staring at a GUY, for god's sake.

Stuff like that has happened to me before. There are certain things that I like in women, like confidence (Sakura), slightly thick legs (Sakura), and painted toenails (most women under the age of thirty). These are all normal things, in my book, for a guy to be turned on by.

It might be normal for some people, but I was really disgusted by the fact that I was attracted to a guy. In that moment, right after I'd let that slip out of my mouth, and before Kakashi replied, I was completely entranced with Sai. His silky black hair, soft skin, the way his wrists looked when he held his coffee cup, the position he was sitting in…

I was getting hot.

Kakashi's voice brought me back. "You don't have two gay dads. We're you're family; we don't have to have clearly defined roles in your life."

"Yeah, whatever," I said. "Look, I'll come to Iruka's place in a few hours." I sighed when Sai turned to me and smiled.

"Can I bring someone else, too?"

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I gripped the steering wheel a little too hard on the ride to Iruka's. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Sai smiling like a little kid, with his hands on his knees as he waited ever so patiently for me to take him to Iruka's apartment so that he could embarrass me in front of my so-called family.

I'm still freaked out about the Kakashi and Iruka thing. I didn't even know that Kakashi was gay, though I'd always kind of thought that Iruka was. Besides that, though, their relationship seems so strange to me because I remember them being on bad terms…throughout my entire memory of them knowing each other.

Iruka was training to be a teacher when I hit high school. My school had a system for training new teachers: they'd have you be the homeroom teacher for each year of students (from first to third grade) before they'd place you in any one grade.

This is why Iruka was my homeroom teacher through every year of high school.

I'd known Kakashi for a little while longer. I got passed around from foster family to foster family when I was little because of behavior problems, so when I was twelve the government decided that it would be easier for me to live by myself and to have some guy check up on me once in a while. That guy turned out to be Kakashi.

I wouldn't have liked Kakashi so much if he hadn't made it his personal goal to teach me martial arts. He was weird and creepy and secretive but _damn_ he was cool when it came to karate, and before I knew it I was asking him to come over every day to teach me karate and take me out to eat decent food.

Iruka took me home from school one day to find Kakashi waiting outside my apartment. Kakashi had promised to take me out to a ramen place that day, so, without thinking, I jumped in his car right after Iruka dropped me off.

Kids are stupid.

The long and the short of it is that Iruka questioned me about Kakashi, and he didn't like the fact that we spent so much time together, so he started to check up on me all the time, too, and he got me in a lot of clubs at school that I didn't like to try to keep me from seeing Kakashi, who he thought was a dirty pervert. It's true that he is, I guess, but he's not a damn pedophile.

Iruka put me in one club that I liked, and that was the karate club. I became friends with Sakura and Sasuke there, which Iruka liked, but I ended up having Kakashi come to some of the practices and I passed around some of his business cards to the students who didn't train at home with their families or have their own personal tutors. Iruka was PISSED when I did that, and he tried to keep tabs on Kakashi after that.

So, I guess that his plan turned out a little differently from how he'd expected. Good for him.

Sai's smile widened a little when I pulled my car into the parking lot for Iruka's apartment complex. I wondered if he had already thought of some things to say to embarrass me in front of Iruka and Kakashi.

I sighed a little as I parked and unbuckled my seat belt. After I'd climbed out of the car, I leaned against my door for a moment and Sai walked around the car to join me.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I looked at him. Damn, I'd always known he was attractive, but after that dream…I shook my head. My stomach felt uneasy and I wasn't sure if it was because I was nervous about seeing Iruka and Kakashi again, or if it was because I'd jerked off while thinking about my annoying male boss hours earlier. "Just nervous, that's all," I said.

He put his hand on my shoulder and I flinched. Sai started to pull his hand away but I'd already begun to react. My hand found his, and I tried to push it away but I couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of his soft skin for a moment.

Maybe I'm too old now. Maybe I'm just a perverted old guy.

His arm hung limply at his side and he smiled at me. "Do you feel well enough to go in, Naruto?" Sai asked softly.

I nodded, trying to focus on what I'd come to Iruka's place for. As I walked away from the car, I said over my shoulder, "Come on, they're gay. I'm sure you'll love them."

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Please don't ask me what I meant by 'you fucking four-eyes' in Naruto's dream. I ain't talking.


	4. I Asked You a Question

The Us-Them Complex, Chapter Four

Pairings: NarutoSai

Side pairings now include KakashiIruka, ChoujiIno

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Notes:

This is a double first-person point of view story. In other words, some of it is told by Naruto, and some of it is told by Sai.

Naruto

**Sai**

Also, I should mention here that I think Kakashi is older than Iruka….like ten years older. Or, if he's not, then I want him to be.

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Iruka was the one who answered the door. He looked a little older, though if I saw him on the street and if I hadn't already thought about the ten years that I'd lived through since I'd last seen him I wouldn't have guessed that he was nearing forty.

Fuck, I'm gonna be thirty soon.

He looked from my face to Sai's quickly before smiling widely and trapping me in a big hug. I patted his back and choked out, "Good morning, Mr. Umino,".

Iruka laughed and released me. "Don't you dare call me that, Naruto!" he said, looking uneasily from my face to Sai's. I realized right then that Iruka probably hadn't expected Sai to come…I had asked Kakashi, but I judged from Iruka's reaction that he hadn't known about it.

"You didn't even call me that when you were in high school!" Iruka continued. He tried to act like nothing was wrong as he reached across me to shake Sai's hand again.

"Thank you for having me," my employer said in a soft voice. Damn, the sound went straight through my ears and into my blood, making my heart beat faster and my throat go dry.

I swallowed as I tried to knock Sai out of my brain.

Iruka laughed again and put his scary smile on. "It's not a problem," he said, turning to me with his 'angry teacher' grin. I smiled back sheepishly as Iruka turned around and shouted back into his apartment, "Kakashi! Get out here!"

I looked past Iruka to see one of Kakashi's larger dogs hovering around the front door. He must have been one of the older ones, too, because he didn't bark or charge at us and instead just sat back on his haunches and gave me the same kind of glare that old dudes give teenagers when they walk around with iPods plugged into their ears.

I stuck my tongue out at him. I think that dog bit me when I was little.

The bedroom door opened and Kakashi walked out wearing the same kind of stuff I'd seem him in when he looked after me in high school: a white tank top and navy sweatpants. Surprisingly enough, he didn't look a day older to me than he had on the day he'd helped me pack up for college. I guess his silver…okay, gray…hair had always made him look older than he was.

I realized, right then, that my older mentor was probably pushing fifty.

"Kakashi!" Iruka shouted at him. "Put some damn clothes on!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes as he waved at me lazily. "Hey, kiddo," he said as he pulled a jacket out of his hallway closet. He glanced at Sai but didn't ask anything.

I caught a curious expression on Sai's face out of the corner of my eye and he smiled at me before looking at Kakashi again. "Are you the man Naruto was speaking to on the phone?" he asked.

Kakashi nodded as he pulled his jacket on. He shot Sai another glance. "And you are…"

I felt the floor creaking beneath my feet and I turned around to see Sakura and Sasuke, both dressed about as well as Sai, walking up to Iruka's apartment. My eyes widended and they stopped for a moment when they recognized Sai and I. They looked at each other and Sakura smiled at Sasuke. They didn't say a word to each other as they joined us.

Then, when Sai turned to see them, Sasuke smirked.

I was suddenly back in high school, that one week where Iruka made my group stay after to work on a project for class. By 'my group' I of course mean Sakura and Sasuke.

Iruka hadn't liked the way we'd worked on projects before then. You see, whenever our group was assigned a project, Sasuke usually did the planning, Sakura did the work, and I went out to get them food, or books, or I held one of their couches or beds to the floor. Iruka figured this out one day when he asked me to present our project and…okay, so I spazzed out and told him how we worked together.

So, basically, Iruka had us sit down after school and do another project. He checked on us constantly to make sure that we each did an equal share of EVERYTHING.

There was one point when Iruka left the room and Sasuke sighed, closing his book as he rubbed his temples. "This sucks," he'd said.

Sakura shrugged. "If Iruka had told us he wanted everything to be even before, we couldn've just DONE it like that. I just wished that he'd warned us, instead of letting us screw up and waste time."

My problem was that they'd given me a book to read through, and I was supposed to find some information and figure out how, or if, it fit into our project. I didn't know how to do this, as I'd never done that kind of thing before, but I didn't want to tell Sakura and Sasuke that.

"Whose turn is it to get food?" Sasuke asked. We looked around at each other and he shut his book and stood up, pushing his chair in with a little too much effort.

"I'm gonna go get something from the corner store. Do either of you want anything?" He asked, looking from Sakura to me and back.

She though for a moment and nodded. "Something sweet, maybe strawberry-flavored," she said before turning to me and asking, "Naruto?"

I grunted and shifted my sitting position. My damn legs had fallen asleep. "Get me a cup of instant ramen," I said as I tried to force myself to read again.

Sasuke nodded but paused on his way out to the door. He let out a long breath and touched his forehead.

"I hate this," he said with more gravity than his previous complaints.

I glared at him. "Well, then why don't you work with a different group?" I was tired and irritated too, and there was no way that I was going to listen to him bitch.

"No," Sasuke said. "It's not our group. We…we had a system. We all did what we knew how to do. Things worked. I mean, our group fit together."

Sakura smiled a little but didn't say anything. Sasuke looked at me for a second before leaving.

I looked back down at my book and I realized that I couldn't do anything for them. I was dead weight…that was what I was good for…nothing.

Iruka looked past me and smiled at Sasuke and Sakura. "Uchiha! Haruno! You came!" he shouted. He took a step back into his apartment and I followed him. Sai came with me wordlessly, which made me nervous.

When Sai doesn't talk, he THINKS.

Sakura and Sasuke followed us inside, and I think it was right then that the smell of dogs hit me. Iruka's apartment had smelled like potpourri when I was in high school, but it only figures that ten years of Kakashi's dogs would ruin that for good. Sai looked around their apartment curiously, and his eyes widened a little when he saw all of the dogs that were sprawled on the floor and couches. His cocky little smile lit up his face and my better judgment told me to cover his mouth, but I don't usually follow that so Sai just turned to Iruka and said, "Wow, I thought that it was lesbians who were supposed to own dogs."

Iruka's face went red (all but for his scar) and he looked around nervously. "Well…uh…"

"Ah, shut up, Sai," I said under my breath. He nodded like a little child who had just been told to keep their fingers the hell away from the wall outlet before smiling at Iruka.

Sakura took off her jacket and smiled at Iruka. "Good morning, Iruka," she said, pulling his attention away from the annoying shithead I work for.

He turned to her and smiled. "I'm glad that you and Sasuke came. Do you two need to go back soon…?"

You two?

YOU TWO?

I bit my lip. Shit, they were together.

Sasuke shrugged. "My schedule's pretty open right now. I've made a little me time, and my assistant has the month off anyway, so I'm good."

I looked at Sakura and hoped that her answer would be vastly different. Nothing like, 'Oh, Sasuke and I are free…'

She sighed. "I need to get back to the hospital tomorrow. They don't let us have time off there."

Iruka turned to me. "I'm not holding you up, am I?"

It almost broke my heart to hear him ask me that. He was my old teacher…and he'd looked after me. I crossed my arms and replied with as much gusto as I could, "Nah, I just work for this asshole right here," I said, pointing back at Sai, "and I don't have any problems with making him stay here a while longer." I turned to Sai and gave him a little glare. "Lazy ass doesn't even have any work for the next month…"

Sai smiled back at me and kept his mouth shut.

Damn, he'd only said one weird thing so far that morning.

Kakashi interrupted our little conversation circle when he tapped Iruka on the shoulder. "Honey?"

Iruka snapped at him, "Don't call me that!"

My old mentor shrugged. "I didn't know that you'd invited Sakura and Sasuke."

Iruka turned to face him and crossed his arms. "Well, I didn't know you'd let that other guy come over!"

That other guy? I guessed that it was an accurate description for Sai.

"Well, that aside…" Kakashi said. Iruka stared at him for a moment before Kakashi pointed to their dining room table.

It had room for four.

"Shit," Iruka said as he hit his forehead. Kakashi nodded, and they stared at the table for a few seconds before Iruka threw his hands up in the air and said, "Let's go out." without turning to the rest of us.

"Where?" Kakashi asked.

"I don't care, out," Iruka said as he grabbed a jacket. "Is that okay with you kids?" he asked as he pulled it long, looking between his old students and ignoring Sai.

Sasuke nodded and Sakura said, "Sure," rather quickly. I glanced at Sai and he smiled at me. I took a little breath again and tried to shake myself out of the little stupor that had fallen over me.

"Naruto?" Iruka asked. He was staring at me.

Shit, they'd all been staring at me. I'd hoped that they'd all missed the look I'd given Sai….I'd hoped that he'd missed it too…

It was just a passing thing, anything. A fetish. A weird fetish.

I turned toward Iruka quickly and fished my keys out of my pocket, grinning widely to try to cover whatever it was that had fallen over me. "Let's go!" I shouted as I pushed my way past Sasuke and Sakura to Iruka's door.

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**Naruto's parents drove in front of our little procession. 'Parents' probably wasn't the accurate word for** **those two, but Naruto has never told me about his family, and I found it odd that he hadn't insisted that we visit his mother and father while we were in town for his family reunion.**

**We were in the back car. Naruto drove as usual, but he seemed a little tense. He must have been surprised to see Sakura and Sasuke again that morning. Maybe he wasn't prepared for it.**

**His phone rang and he fumbled with it in his pocket for a moment before I reached over, unzipped his jacket pocket, and took it out for him. Naruto froze but didn't say anything, so I opened his phone and checked who was calling. The cell phone said, 'UNKNOWN' so I answered it before Naruto could protest.**

"**Hello, Uzumaki Naruto speaking," I said. Naruto shot me a cute little glare and I smiled back.**

"**What--" It was Sasuke. "This isn't Naruto!" There was a moment of silence. I could tell that Naruto had heard his old friends voice when he glanced at his phone uneasily. Sasuke came back on and laughed a little. "Sai, is this you?"**

**The laugh didn't sound quite natural. It seemed that the act of answering Naruto's phone had gotten to him.**

"**Yes, it certainly is," I replied, my voice much calmer than Sasuke's. "Sorry, I just didn't know if, 'Naruto's boss speaking' was really appropriate," I answered.**

**When we reached a stoplight, Naruto stared at me but made no attempt to take the phone from me.**

"**Hey, Naruto, can you hear me?" Sasuke asked in a much louder voice than before. I pulled the phone away from my ear and made a face.**

"**Yeah, can you hear me?" my driver asked, turning to the phone. Traffic started to move again and he pulled his blue eyes back to the road.**

"**Yeah," Sasuke shouted back. I held the phone up between Naruto and myself. Sasuke continued with his intended message. "Iruka called me, and he doesn't know where to go but the traffic's too bad to pull over and talk. Do you have any suggestions?"**

"**Um…" Naruto started to look around and I watched the road for him. He was always a little reckless, in a good way, I think.**

"**Shit," Naruto said more quietly so that only I could hear him. "I don't know anything around here."**

"**What?" Sasuke asked on the other end.**

**Naruto glanced at his phone in my hand, a little nervous because Sasuke had heard him. "Uh, it was nothing. Just talking to Sai."**

**Sasuke went silent.**

**There was a shuffling noise on the other end, and Sakura was on. "Naruto, come on, what do you want already?" she asked in a loud voice.**

**Naruto made a face at his phone. "Why are you asking me?"**

"**Well, because no one else knows what they want."**

**He grimaced. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he said under his breath.**

"**What was that, Naruto?" Sakura asked.**

**I chuckled a little when Naruto flushed red and hit himself in the forehead. "Nothing, just talking to Sai!"**

"**Well, uh, talk a little more quietly." She hung up without receiving any information.**

**Naruto covered half of his face with this hand in his embarrassment and slumped his shoulders forward. It was rather obvious that this was causing him a great amount of stress.**

**I watched Naruto for another minute and he glanced at me, surprised that I was looking at him.**

"**Calm down," I said. He sighed and watched the road again. "Is it that hard, seeing them again?"**

"**Well, how would you feel if you saw your old friends again?" Naruto asked.**

**My old friends? I wondered if he meant the kids from my private school in London, or the guys I slept with in acting school. If I saw any of them, I think I would just smile and look away.**

"**Who knows," I said.**

**He eyed me for a moment, and I couldn't read the look on his face.**

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I ended up following Sasuke's car into the parking lot of a French restaurant. It was after noon by then, and I wasn't in the mood for breakfast anymore. The place we went to didn't look like the kind of place Iruka or Kakashi would have gone to, but given present company…

Well, I just hoped that it was Sasuke and Sakura they were trying to impress, and not Sai.

When we were seated, I looked around the restaurant for familiar faces. I'd already had enough of a surprise that morning when I found out that Sakura and Sasuke were coming to eat out with me, Iruka, Kakashi and you-know-who. I didn't want Ino or Kiba or anyone else to come out of nowhere and bite me in the ass.

Sai put his hand on my arm while I was looking around. "Are you alright?" he asked me in his annoying, soft voice. Fuck, he looked good. "You seem tense."

I shook his hand off and took a deep breath. "It's alright," I answered.

When I looked up, I saw Sasuke look away from Sai's hand.

I knew, okay, that it bothered Sasuke to learn that I was working for another actor, and that I'd started to work for Sai a little while after I quit working for him. I get that that would bother him.

I didn't want Sasuke to think that I was GAY, though. Hell, he'd already been hurt at the reunion when he learned that I was hiding something about my life from him. I was afraid that he'd start jumping to conclusions or that he'd end up pulling me to the side later and asking WHAT ELSE I was hiding from him.

And I wasn't with Sai anyway.

Sakura seemed to take the former 'surprise' rather well and she didn't act like she had any doubt about my sexuality, which made me feel a little more comfortable being around her than being around Sasuke.

"So, Naruto," Kakashi said, making me snap out of my internal grumbling, "do you have a girl these days?"

I made a face. Damn it, I didn't want everyone to know how long it had been since I got laid! "Um, no," was all that I could say. "Too busy with work. My boss likes to see me suffer and he enjoys knowing that he's the reason for my lack of a social life."

"I do take you to parties, though," Sai said. I glared at him and he sipped his glass of water.

"It doesn't count when all the guys are gay and when all the girls who talk to me just want to get your cell phone number," I muttered.

The 'g' word made Sasuke sit up in his seat. Fuck, he DID think I was gay!

"I haven't dated in forever either," Sakura confessed. My angel! Sweet, sweet Sakura! "I'm just so busy at the hospital that I don't have time to look for decent guys." She laughed and glanced at Sasuke. "And considering who I grew up with, my standards are just so high that it's really hard for me to find guys who I think are attractive enough to date."

Wait...

What did she say…

She hasn't dated…

In forever…

I sank back in my chair. Oh, thank God, she wasn't with Sasuke!

"Well, thank you, Sakura," Sasuke said with a stupid smug smile. Hah! He WAS a fag, through and through! Good old Sasuke! "To tell the truth, I haven't dated since acting school either."

"Oh," Sai said. "Since acting school?" He leaned forward and rested his chin on his hand, an obvious sign that he wanted to hear more about what Sasuke did in acting school.

I didn't care! Hell, when you're young you think you're SUPPOSED to do it every night…I sure did! And I wouldn't tell Sasuke about the girls I slept with!

Sasuke looked a little flustered. "Well, you know, my standards have gone up too."

Sai nodded and sat back.

The next thing I knew, they were both looking at me.

Shit! We were talking about me, weren't we? "Uh…" I said. "Well, my standards haven't changed…."

…said the guy who jacked off while thinking about his male boss.

Fuck.

"I'm older too, now," I said, turning back to Kakashi. The attention was making me a little panicky. "I feel older. You know how it is."

Kakashi glanced at Iruka. "The hell I do."

Too much information! Too much information!

Iruka kicked him under the table and flushed red. "You pervert," he hissed. It was at that point in time when a few people sitting at the nearby tables chose to turn around and give us bad looks.

I picked up a menu and buried my face in it.

I wished right then that I had thought of some excuse for not having a girlfriend. She was busy? She was in America? She'd cheated on me? I was going to become a monk?

With Sai around, I couldn't think properly.

I lowered my menu and looked around the table. Everyone else had started to look at their menus, too. I glanced at Sai and he didn't look up.

I wondered what he meant about acting school. Thinking back on my time with Sai, I couldn't remember seeing him with anyone. He never brought anyone home, at least not on the nights that he had me stay late or overnight with him, and he almost always kept me with him at parties.

Had he…not scored in just as long a time as I had?

It wasn't like he had a lack of potential bed partners. I don't know Sai's 'type', or anything, and I think I'd feel grossed out if I did, but I was sure that there was someone, some guy out there, who fit it who'd gladly sleep with him, maybe even eat breakfast or do date-type stuff.

Maybe he wasn't interested in sex. Sai's favorite thing in the world seemed to be bothering me, and now I knew that I potential second-most-favorite thing was fashion. Figures, the queer.

I guessed that that must have been it. He just didn't enjoy sex.

Shit, I'd had my eyes on him for five minutes when the waiter came up. I hope that Sasuke didn't see and think that I was…

Oh, hell, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.

"Sai," Iruka said. I flinched. Sai? Why was he talking to Sai?

My boss looked up at him as our waiter walked away. "Yes, Iruka?"

Iruka smiled a little. I knew that smile…it was his 'I'm going to get this out of you and kill you with it' smile. It really worked best on flustered, spastic students who'd just repainted all of the school statues to look like Teletubbies. "How's Naruto been treating you?"

I cringed. God damn it, why did Iruka have to give him the opportunity to SAY something? The bastard's greatest joy in life was fucking with my head!

"Honestly," Sai said in the most serious voice I'd heard him use since he offered to keep the hell away from me at the party the night before, "I couldn't have asked for a better assistant. Even when he argues with me or yells at me, I can hear the kind concern in his voice that sometimes makes me think that the more appropriate title for someone doing his work would be, 'nanny of an overpaid child' than 'personal assistant'."

I gave him a look but he ignored me and kept on going.

"Naruto spends most of his waking hours looking after me, and I can't say that I don't like the attention. He doesn't enjoy giving it, but he still does, even after five years, and he hasn't quit yet. Now, my last assistant got on my nerves. He always agreed with me and let me have my way, which was not in good judgment. It turned out that he was enamored with me, though, and must say that between working with someone who's ready to do whatever you want and someone who will forcefully hold you to the ground to keep you from doing things with terrible consequences even though they know you enjoy it that I most certainly prefer someone of Naruto's breed."

My vision went red and I found myself standing in the public phone cubicle of the restaurant twenty seconds later, not sure of how I got there but with a hunch that I'd knocked down a chair on my way over. I was ready to hyperventilate.

Fuck that, I was ready to kill the bastard and I was glad that I had stormed off instead of throwing something at his stupid grinning face.

I sat down in the little seat of the cubicle when Sakura walked over, concern written all over her face. I held my head in my hands and she knelt in front of me, putting one hand on my shoulder and the other on my other arm. She didn't say anything for a minute, giving me a chance to have the first word.

I chose well.

"Fuck…" I whispered. I didn't want to get thrown out of the restaurant, though I'd probably already given the staff enough reason to get rid of me.

"He always does this," I said after a few seconds, looking at Sakura directly. She patted my back and waited for me to calm down.

"Sai's a dickhead," she said after a minute. I looked up, a little surprised at her language, and she shrugged. "But you chose to work for him, right?"

My heart sank. "Yeah, but I didn't choose HIM." I lowered my head in shame. He was my boss, after all.

Sakura gave me a concerned look. "Is he always like this?"

"Well, not always," I admitted. "But I want him to act like a normal person when I'm with you and Sasuke." Oh, poor Sasuke. "I think he's already gotten Sasuke into thinking that we're together, too."

She narrowed her eyes. "Why would Sasuke think that? I mean, I didn't…"

I sat back in the little booth. "I don't know, Sasuke's just been acting weird. And Sai keeps saying stuff…I mean, come on, he said that I held him to the ground."

Sakura laughed. "Well, you didn't actually, did you?"

"Um…" I closed my eyes as I reflected. "I think I did it twice in the last three days."

"Oh," Sakura said as her smile faded. She studied me for a moment. "But that doesn't mean that you two are doing anything."

I rolled my eyes. "I know, but Sasuke…he's gotten sensitive. And he's still mad that he didn't know I was Sai's personal assistant."

"Why didn't you tell him?" she asked. "I didn't care too much, but I wasn't around when you worked for Sasuke, so fill me in if there's some reason…"

I shrugged. "I don't think it's about REASON, Sakura."

She gave me a look. "Okay, so you think that Sasuke's just jealous because you work for Sai and not him."

"…please don't tell me that you think he's jealous for another reason." I did NOT want to hear any theories about Sasuke wanting to do me. Not then.

"Maybe you're just imagining all of this. Okay, tell me something, since you don't seem to be happy seeing us again. What do you want to do right now?"

I was about to protest when she said that I wasn't happy seeing them. It was Sai's fault, damnit! But when she asked me what I wanted to do, I scared myself a little with the answer.

"I just want to go back to Tokyo, crawl under my bed and pretend that I never embarrassed myself in front of you and Sasuke," I said.

Sakura pushed me to the side of the seat and sat next to me. She wrapped her arms around me too quickly for me to push her away, and I DID want to push her away because I felt so…awful. I didn't feel like I deserved to be near her and Sasuke, not when I was such a disappointment. I felt embarrassed letting Iruka and Kakashi see that this was what my life had become…this wasn't the stuff I'd wanted them to see! They were supposed to say, 'Hey, Naruto, you look good for twenty-eight' and take me to do stuff like old times, not hear about how terrible my life had become!

"I hate everything that's happened," I said. My voice started to crack and Sakura held me tighter.

"What happened?" she asked me.

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College, freshman year. I suddenly had no Sakura or Sasuke to help me pass time, to give me things to laugh about, to pull me out of my shell. It was hard, having to live with a new roommate, to go to class with people who didn't care if I was there or not, who wouldn't have noticed if I was gone, or if I failed, and who didn't think that the stupid stuff I did was funny.

I didn't have Sasuke's fat wallet to bail me out anymore, either, so I got a part-time job at the local ramen stand, Ichiraku Ramen. I just made some money to supplement the stuff I got from student loans, and to help buy clothes. My looks had always been important, or at least since the days of going to the mall with Sakura and Sasuke, when they'd buy me clothes that a state-raised orphan kid couldn't afford.

The first time that I went to the mall with them, I just hung out and didn't look at anything. They took me to one more store when they were done clothes-shopping (I did not know Sasuke was gay…how?) with no explanation.

Sasuke and I talked near the men's dressing rooms until Sakura came back with a bunch of clothes and practically threw them at me. When I gave her a weird look, she glanced at Sasuke and he shoved me into a dressing room. To make a short story even shorter, I found out that I was kind of good-looking that day. Nothing to get excited about, I guess, but I always liked shopping with them after that.

I felt better when I was wearing the stuff she picked out for me, when I was wearing the stuff he'd paid for.

So I got a job at the ramen stand and tried to shop on my own. When I tried to make new friends to fill up the rest of my spare time, the other students usually told me that I was too immature or not serious enough for them, and I got the cold shoulder for my enthusiasm and energy.

I spent a lot of nights reading books or delivering ramen. It was…terrible.

I'd lost the only good things about myself, and I didn't know what to do anymore besides finishing up with my degree and hoping that life after graduation would be different.

I knew that I'd changed the night that I delivered ramen to some rich kid living in an apartment twenty minutes (by bike) from the stand and he short-changed me. When I counted the money, I just looked and him for a moment and he smiled. His friends, who were sitting at a table in his living room, called him back and he waved me off like nothing had happened.

I left without saying anything, walking my bike back to the stand to drop off something I'd borrowed from old man Ichiraku. Ten minutes into it, the rich kid, who was about the same age as me, ran up to me and stopped when he'd caught up with me, panting. He was the glasses type, and he looked like a real nerd wearing a baggy black sweater and dark jeans. He was even wearing house slippers…he looked kind of crazy, too.

Four-eyes looked up at me and brushed some black hair out of his face. The first thing he said was, "So, you didn't count the bills I gave you?"

I gripped the handlebars of my bike harder. Fucking creep, he'd short-changed me and now he was mocking me! "I counted them, all right," I growled as I glared at him.

He smiled and dug some money out of his pocket. I looked like enough to cover the rest of bill. The guy just waited and looked at me.

I rolled my eyes and took the money out of his hand, counting it before I put it into my pocket for old man Ichiraku. "What the fuck is this?" I asked him, realizing that he'd given me enough right then to pay for everything he'd bought.

"The money I gave you before was meant to be a tip," he said, the smile gone from his face. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. "I forgot to get the tip for you before, so when I went back to get it I accidentally left the rest of the money in my bedroom and I only realized it a few minutes ago." Four-eyes looked at me for a moment before worrying his eyebrows. "You didn't think that I was going to pay for all of it?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Look, this late at night, people tend to do stuff like that and I didn't want to get into an argument with a rude rich guy, just to have him laugh at me and shut the door in my face."

Neither of us said anything for a minute. The ground was wet and I knew that the old rainwater was probably seeping into his slippers, but he didn't seem to mind as he stared at me.

"So…why didn't you think I was going to pay? Why didn't you…ask?" he asked me in a more sober voice than before, hushed and worried.

"I…because I didn't…"

Four-eyes took a step back, out of my personal space, and sighed. "You decided to hate me from the beginning?"

That word struck me and I realized it was true. I had decided, even before I saw him, that any guy who would call for an Ichiraku delivery for five people in the dead of the night, from a place so far away from the stand, must have been a jackass who just wanted to make their delivery boy run around. Was that…me? When had that happened? That wasn't me!

I stared at him, and he waited for an answer.

Did I…hate him? Because his life looked better than mine? Because he had an apartment on the good side of town, and friends who stayed up late with him? Because he had money to give me a decent tip?

As I opened my mouth to answer him, three guys came around the corner. They were the kind of guys that scared me in high school, the type that tried to hang around Shino to get in on whatever business his family was up to, guys who wanted and wanted but didn't seem to care about to much. Big guys, I should add.

I kept my eyes off of them to not draw attention to myself and Four-eyes just continued to look at me, waiting for an answer. The guys who came around the corner looked us over. I could tell that what they saw was my crappy bike and Four-eyes's expensive-looking clothes and his soon-to-be-ruined slippers.

I knew that unless those guys were in a hurry to get somewhere, that that guy was fucked.

One of the guys nodded at the others and they hung out at a wall while he walked up to Four-eyes. "Hey, what's a guy like you doing this late at night?" he asked Four-eyes. "And in such nice shoes."

"Just having a chat," he said with no fear or emotion in his voice. He was still looking at me, but how could he have expected me to answer him when we were both probably about to me mugged?

"What are you two talking about?" the thug asked him, reaching out an arm to touch his shoulder.

Four-eyes ignored him and took a step closer to me. "Did you?"

I glanced at the thug, who was reaching into his jacket. I hoped that he had a knife, and not a gun. Guns are much easier to kill with than knives, and it's easy to lose your head when you have the power of a gun. Knives take more effort.

The other two thugs left their place on the wall and walked over to us. I had a bike, so I could have escaped decently even if they had guns (I was in hella shape in those days) but Four-eyes didn't even seem to be thinking about getting away.

In fact, when he realized that the three guys weren't going to leave us alone he turned around and said to the first one, "Would you three mind going somewhere else? I don't have my wallet on me and it seems that that's what you're after. I don't wear jewelry either, so you can't pawn anything you take from me and I doubt that any of you would look good in my sweater."

The thug looked stunned for a minute before he laughed. His friends grinned at Four-eyes and one of them said, "What the hell? Telling us to go away like the street is yours. Someone should cut that ugly tongue out of your head, Four-eyes."

"It's not ugly, it's well-conditioned for the stage," he said, turning back to me.

That just made the thugs burst out laughing. "Well-conditioned, he says?" the third thug roared. "What ELSE is it good for?"

Four-eyes ignored them. "Are you going to answer me?" he asked me. I glared back at him and threw glances at the three gentlemen currently entertaining us with their company. "I'm going to follow you until you explain to me why you felt that way."

"Dude," I hissed at him, "what…the fuck…is your problem?"

He narrowed his eyes. "I'd ask what yours is, but it seems to be me, so could you please explain to me just why that is? I really, sincerely want to know."

My heart stopped when one of the thugs pulled out a knife and put his arm around Four-eyes's shoulder, holding the blade near his chest but not quite at his neck. My stalker looked at it for a moment before turning to the man who was hanging on him. "Put that away," he said in a cold voice.

The thug retracted his arm and punched Four-eyes in the face with his other hand. He fell hard to the ground. It was pretty obvious that he wasn't a fighter at all, or even athletic. Four-eyes turned around after a moment and looked back at me, of all people, wiping blood from his face.

I think that was what did it. The guy wasn't worried about getting cut-up, or punched, or maybe even killed. What mattered the most to him was being able to hear my answer.

I felt guilty, because of the way I'd acted, because of what I'd said, because of what I thought, so instead of trying to talk to him, instead of trying to ignore the other guys, I thought, 'Hell, let me make it up to you'.

I told you what club I was in back in high school, didn't I?

I dropped my bike and pulled off my rainy, slippery biking gloves before burying my fist into the knife-wielder's stomach. I took the knife when his arm went limp and I threw it across the street with the hopes that I wouldn't accidentally kill someone else nearby. Luckily, the street was empty and the knife landed with a clang on a drain. I pulled him over my shoulder and threw him onto his back on the ground, knocking the wind out of him and possibly cracking his skull. Either way, he didn't get back up.

I motioned for his friends to come over and they looked at each other before shaking their heads. I grabbed Four-eyes by the arm, picked up my bike, and stalked away from the street with no plans or directions in my mind.

When we'd walked away a distance, I let Four-eyes go and I leaned against the wall of a building that was closed for the night. I nearly punched him myself when I realized that he was smiling at me.

My fist hurt. "What the hell are you smiling for?" I spat at him.

"You were wonderful," he answered. He pulled his glasses off his face and wiped them off with a cloth he pulled out of his pocket before putting them back and smiling at me again. "Just like…I've seen in movies, when the hero comes in to save the day."

"Fuck you," I said, walking back to Ichiraku. I wasn't going to listen to some idiot trivialize the fact that I may have very well saved his life.

"What?" he asked me in a more sober voice, following me. "Why would you say that? I just called you a hero. That really was fantastic."

"Did you hire those guys or something?" I asked, quickening my pace. He caught up. I glanced at him quickly; his once-pinkish slippers had turned mud brown, and he had rather long legs. I cursed my shortness to hell.

"Why would you ask that?" Four-eyes asked me. "Once again, you're accusing me of doing something to you."

I rolled my eyes. It was true, but…! "Well, you seemed to enjoy it," I answered.

Four-eyes touched the side of his face. "It hurts…" he said as he walked right up along side me, on the other side of my bike. "Will I have a bruise in the morning?"

He ended up following me to Ichiraku. I was hungry by then, a product of the anxiety he'd caused me, so I ordered some ramen. The old man gave me a look and glanced at Four-eyes. "You hungry, or did you come here to sit?" he asked.

I knew he'd already ordered stuff, and it was at his apartment with all of his good-looking friends, but when I opened my mouth to tell old man Ichiraku Four-eyes said, "I'll take whatever you recommend. I'm new to ramen, so please be gentle with me." He put his hands together and bowed.

Ichiraku rolled his eyes and said something about a 'no-shoes no-service' policy before turning around and starting on our orders.

We talked for a while, though I was still feeling guilty and just not happy with my self, in general, which made me a little short with Four-eyes. We told each other our names, though I forgot his by the next day (it was long and boring) and talked about the schools we were going to.

At one point, I asked him, "Why haven't you gone back home?"

He smiled at me. "You didn't answer my question yet, remember?"

"I don't feel comfortable talking about that kind of stuff," I said. "I just…sorry, okay? Things have been kind of rough for me, and it's…hard to trust people."

"I know about that," he said. "I may not have shared your life experiences, but…there really isn't anyone in the world I can trust."

"What about your friends?" I asked him before slurping some ramen.

He looked a little sad then and shrugged. "I'm going to know them for a few years, Naruto, and then we'll part ways. I don't really like them anyway. I like you a lot more."

I nearly spat out the noodles I was eating. He was a theater fag! "No offense, buddy," I said to him, moving my leg a little further away from his, "but this train only stops at certain stations, you know?"

Four-eyes laughed at me. "I…like you in a lot of ways. I really do."

I gave him a look. "Cut it out already."

"You're wonderful!"

"Shut up, Four-eyes!"

He turned serious again. "I wish that…my friends were more like you. I had a friend like you once, a real friend, but now I only know boys from my school, or people that my father introduces me too."

"My friends…" I started. Thinking about Sakura, preparing for medical school, or Sasuke, in acting school in another part of the country, made me frown. "I don't really have friends anymore. I don't like being like this."

"Are you lonely?" he asked me.

I don't remember what my answer was that time. We left without exchanging phone numbers or promising to talk again, though, from the look in his eyes, I think that he would have liked that a lot.

I couldn't see why, though. I was a crappy guy, still am.

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I really didn't know what to tell Sakura.

"I just…felt crappy without you and Sasuke," I said. "I don't like who I am anymore. It's hard, letting you two see me like this, but I still wanted to see both of you so badly."

I felt tears coming; they hadn't formed yet, but that terrible, stressful feeling, the feeling of being overwhelmed, had caught up with me.

"We wanted to see you too," she said quietly. "I wish we could all stay here together again. I've missed you and Sasuke…so much…"

As I fought back my own tears, Sakura started to cry on my shoulder. Fuck, that surprised me about as much as anything else that night.

"Sasuke…Sasuke and I talked in the car earlier," she said, "and he said he feels the same way. We don't care about much. He's been lonely without you and me, and I've missed both of you. You wouldn't believe how many nights I've spent thinking about our high school days." She dried her face but it seemed like she couldn't quite look up at me. I could only stare at her in shock.

Maybe…I wasn't the only one who was having a hard time.

Sakura hugged me a little tighter. "I love both of you so much…"

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	5. Everything is Beautiful

The Us-Them Complex, Chapter Five

Pairings: NarutoSai

Side pairings now include KakashiIruka, ChoujiIno

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Notes:

This is a double first-person point of view story. In other words, some of it is told by Naruto, and some of it is told by Sai.

Naruto

**Sai**

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I sat in a daze in Sai's apartment the next week. Whenever he walked by or sat by me on the couch, I tried to respond to him in some way. The thing was, I just wasn't THERE…at all.

I wished that I'd known the way that Sakura and Sasuke felt. I've felt like that before, so many times, but I always pushed it off because I was afraid of that feeling. Did I…want to be with them? Just the three of us, no one else?

I was…close to them. My times with those two were the most important times of my life.

Thoughts like those were frequent in my first year of college. I wanted to see them again so badly, but I knew that they were far away, not so far that I couldn't see them but out of my grasp, in a new place where they could make new friends and become new people. I didn't want to bother either of them because they were both genius students, you know, the types who 'had their whole lives ahead of them' and all that. So I pushed away those thoughts and feelings until they stopped coming.

Then, I got in some more time with Sasuke when I was his assistant. I liked that but I felt guilty. Number one, Sasuke gave me money, all the money that I wanted really. It wasn't a real job; I was just a part of his entourage, just an old buddy mooching off his successful friend. I felt more like a nobody back then than I did in college, but I had money and a place to stay and I got to see one of my two favorite people in the world so I just pretended like it was all good.

I wish that I could say that I wasn't sure what it was that had made me quit my job as Sasuke's assistant. I wish that I could say that it was just the right time, or that I'd grown as a person, or that we'd grown apart as people. The truth is…

…maybe I saw it in him too.

Whenever Sasuke and I had down time in those days, we ended up talking about Sakura and the good old times. We even spent a few nights drinking and apologizing for the mess that happened in senior year.

One night, during that year that Sasuke took some time off and riched it up in a 'time-off' resort, we both sat down in front of the fireplace of his living room. I'd found champagne somewhere in his house, and he just shrugged when he saw it so I popped it open.

He pulled a throw off of one of his couched and laid down on the floor, facing the ceiling, and didn't say anything for a few minutes. I sipped at the champagne (I liked taking advantage of the expensive things available to me back then) and tried to think of something to talk about.

In those days, my worst fear was that I'd bore him and he'd get rid of me. I don't know when I started to think of myself as his pet rather than his friend, but it happened. Money changes people, both those who have it and those who don't.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

I stared at him for a moment, trying to think of things he could have apologized for, you know, shit he might have done that day. Sasuke rarely did anything that bothered me, though, and I couldn't remember anything bad from that particular day so I knew that he was talking about the Senior Year Fiasco.

I just laughed a little and moved so that I was sitting closer to him. "It's okay, it was my fault anyway," I told him. Words I'd said a million times; they grew truer each time I said them, at least in my ears. "You, and Sakura, didn't do anything wrong."

He suddenly turned over and propped himself up on his elbows to face me. There was a very intense look on his face, and I wished I hadn't said anything. "No," he said firmly, "It's _my_ fault, too. _All_ of us are where we are _now_ because of _what we_ _did_."

Sasuke flopped onto his back and sighed. I watched him uneasily, wondering what I'd done to upset him. "Look," he said after a minute, "I…want to go back to those times. I just wish that I could get Sakura to come around with us all the time, or something, sometimes. I don't think that we're all doing what we're supposed to be doing." He sighed again and shut his eyes. His mood still hadn't passed.

"If we'd acted differently, we might all have ended up somewhere else…together."

I tried to lighten him up. "Maybe Sakura's happy at the hospital. She always loved medicine and science and all that." I didn't say anything about her hellish internship and residency.

"It's not about the hospital," he argued. "I mean, look at all of us. I'm…not sure if I'm happy where I am. I want to go back and redo everything so that the three of us wouldn't have grown apart."

I had nothing to say. We'd all known, everyone at Konoha High that is, that we'd grow apart and find new places in life when we got older. It was just more mature to accept that. Life's like that; you can't go back.

So I thought about Sasuke's words while I drank. I fell asleep with an empty bottle in my hands, on his floor, just a few feet away from the guy who I wouldn't sworn that I hated back in senior year of high school. He was still there when I woke up, with one arm over his face as he lay on his side.

He frowned in his sleep. I'd never noticed it before I crawled over silently and looked at him. He'd never before said anything like what he'd said the night previous, and it bothered me. I wasn't happy but that was just because I was me, right? As I studied his face, I realized that maybe he felt the same way as I did. Maybe he didn't like himself, or where he'd gone.

And then I turned it around and realized that maybe I was just unhappy because we were incomplete; both Sasuke and I needed Sakura to be full, to be complete.

To be happy.

I got up off the floor and tried to wash everything away with a shower. When I came out, Sasuke was still on the floor, asleep. He hadn't moved. I walked around his vacation place for a little while, but I didn't want him to think that I'd gotten freaked out by the stuff he'd said so I made sure to stay close to the living room. I didn't feel normal, though.

After that day, I watched Sasuke for a while. He didn't say anything else after that night, but I knew what was going on in his head when he stared off into the distance, when he smiled at me throughout the day for no reason. What was right and what was wrong? Was it normal for him to be happy being with me? Was it wrong for him to wish for the three of us to be together?

My college-time heartache came back and I scared myself into leaving Sasuke. I didn't want to become that. I needed to become someone new, even if that meant that I had to grow apart from Sasuke, from someone who meant a lot to me.

I thought that all of that would have been gone by then, by the time that I was twenty-eight. I was living in a new city. I was working for someone I hadn't known when I was a kid. I met new people everyday I went out the door. I had my own place, even if I didn't use it too much. Sure, I was still mooching off a rich guy, but _damn it _I worked for every cent I made.

I'd found my own place in the world, and then I'd found that there was another place, a familiar place, that still had my name on it.

"Naruto," Sai said as he took a seat by me on the couch.

I turned to face him, and those dark eyes suddenly pushed everything else out of my head.

My place…my place…

He looked at me with as much concern as his doll-face could manage, and I felt for him. I often think that Sai's impenetrable, that nothing bothers him, so when something moves him it's hard to watch.

I found a smile forming on my face against my will. Sai blinked at me in confusion and leaned forward a little. "Are you okay? You've been so quiet lately," he said in a soft voice.

My eyes couldn't leave his face. Sai was where I'd come to.

Sai was my new place.

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I'd started to feel better the next day when Sai's phone rang. There are about ten phones in his apartment that are all on the same line, and the number isn't listed or given out to many people. The idiot once called for delivery using that phone line, and I had to change the phone number two days later because he kept getting fan calls, smiling helplessly at the phone, and forcing me to make his crazy admirers and lovers hang up.

So, needless to say, if a call comes on that phone line then I know it's _probably _important. Sai's agent is a quiet, polite, guy, and he usually calls my cell phone instead of that line. Sai's actor buddies usually call the house line, so I generally let him answer the house phone to avoid hearing any weird rich/famous/bored-people discussions.

Sai chose to not pick up the phone. I guess that was what happened, although I couldn't see him because I was working on his calendar in my room right then and I didn't know where the fuck he was. The phone ran six times before I sprinted out of my room, nearly knocking down the laptop he'd given me, grabbed the phone off its receiver on the hallway wall and said, "You've reached Sai, this is his assistant speaking, how may I help you?" in a slightly breathless voice.

There was a pause before Nara Shikamaru asked in a disgusted voice, "Are you two…busy? I can call back later…"

I pulled the phone away from my face and caught my breath before answering. "Well, I don't know what Sai's up to right now," I said first, trying to clear the air of any sex-related suspicions, "but I'm not too busy. You want me to get Sai?"

"If he's there, I'd appreciate it," Shikamaru said. I noticed that his voice had dropped I volume and he sounded a little nervous. "You see, he offered to meet with me to discuss a men's line, and I wanted to see if he was still interested."

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Konoha, three days later. I hadn't thought that I'd be back there so soon, if ever, so I decided to keep a low profile for myself when Sai and I met with Shikamaru in the back room of Chouji's restaurant. I took Fatso up on his offer to give me free food for life in exchange for me not getting pissy about never being invited to his wedding.

The three of us sat down in back room. Shikamaru definitely looked as nervous as he'd sounded in the phone when he set down a sketchbook and a few pencils and pens on the table we shared. I sat next to Sai, not quite sure if I should have had any interest in what was going on but a little curious to see what kind of things Sai would recommend for men's clothing.

I guess that I wanted to be there to put my foot down if Sai tried suggesting skirts and stuff. You know, to keep him from making an ass out of himself or from using his gigantic influence as a famous actor and a popular idol to ruin Shikamaru's clothing and his dreams.

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**I smiled when Nara placed his sketchbook on the table. I'd been dying to see what was in it, to get a glimpse of his thought processes. I loved the dresses he designed, so I couldn't wait to see where they came from.**

**I looked up at him and he grimaced a little. I think that I came off badly when we met at Naruto's reunion, so I smiled to try to smooth things over. "Where do we begin?" I asked in anticipation.**

**He sighed and the marvelous sketchbook opened, revealing nothing but white, textured paper. "That's the thing," he said in a plaintive voice, "I don't know anything about men's clothes."**

**I chuckled a little. "But you're a man! And you wear clothing, or so it seems from the two times that I've met you. You might not be able to pick it off a rack or out of your closet, but I'm sure that there are wonderful pieces swimming about in the back of that wonderful head of yours."**

**Naruto, who had his back to me as he looked around the room, laughed. I glanced at him and then back at Nara whose grimace had deepened. I thought for a moment that some response to my thoughts lay on the tip of his tongue, but he simply frowned a little more before turning his sketchbook around so that it was in front of me, and setting a pen on top of it.**

**I looked at the book, a little confused, and Nara explained. "I've never dressed well. I don't even know where to start…the shapes, the forms…I'm used to just thinking of the curves of a woman's body and dressing them. The bust, the waist, the hips…those are the most attractive parts of a woman's body, so I just focus on those and ideas come easily."**

**I considered this. I thought that his opinion had been shaped a little too hard for my liking, and that was most likely what kept him from designing men's clothing.**

**After all, men do have rather nice curves; they're just in different places.**

**A strong brow line, a muscular neck, well-defined arms, a toned chest, and don't forget the curve of the pelvis…there are still curves.**

**I glanced at Naruto for a moment. He seemed to have turned a little towards myself and Shikamaru, perhaps to listen to our conversation, but he turned right back around when I caught his eye. I smiled, my thoughts having turned a little dirty, before I picked up the pencil.**

"**I see," I said. "You're straight, aren't you?"**

**Nara gave me a slightly disgusted look. "Yes, of course, but what does that have to do with anything?"**

**I tilted my head to the side and thought about asking him why he'd felt the need to throw in the 'of course' but I decided against it. Maybe I've become more tactical during my years with my lovely assistant. "You're only looking at the aesthetics of the female form, most of which are sexual in nature. If you try to apply the same idea to men's clothing, the result can be rather ridiculous, can't it?" I asked.**

**He frowned and nodded. "I've tried sketching out the anatomical male form and dressing it before, but--"**

"**But that's not the way that men's clothing works," I interrupted him. I felt quite proud of myself for schooling a famous fashion designer on the basic how-to's of men's clothing. "The clothes I like to wear may go against this, but for most men, you don't want to dress the body. The best men's clothing is traditional in shape; most men look better in suits than they do in anything else, at least aesthetically," I added, recalling how Naruto looked in jeans and a t-shirt, "but the suit they wear doesn't dress their body; it creates it."**

**Naruto's high school classmate, Ino, joined us while I was speaking. She walked up slowly, and a little shyly it seemed, though I may have misread her posture and her expression. She was carrying a tray of drinks, which struck me as odd because her husband owns a restaurant; she does not work there. I knew from what Naruto had told me on the plane trip back to Konoha that Ino was a model, but I decided not to question her temporary career change as she set our drinks on the table and held up the serving tray she'd brought in.**

"**Hey, Shikamaru, Naruto," she said conversationally. "Sai."**

**Shikamaru nodded absentmindedly and Naruto waved at her. I just smiled.**

"**So," she said after a moment, "If you three need anything, I'll be close by, so just, you know, come get me if you need anything." With that, she turned around to leave the room.**

**I caught Naruto staring off into space out of the corner of my eye, and as I listened to Ino's footsteps I had an idea.**

"**Miss…er…Lovely," I called after her. Ino stopped walking and turned around stiffly, her face glowing.**

"**Yes?" she asked in a high-pitched voice.**

**Ah, it seemed like she was willing to help.**

"**Could you come over here for a moment?" I asked her in a slightly pleading voice. She nodded and her heels clicked and clacked on the tiled floor until she was beside our table again.**

**Shikamaru gave me a look but I ignored him and turned back to Naruto. "Naruto, could you please stand beside Ino?"**

**My wonderful assistant glared at me, the corner of his lip turning down a little in disgust as he realized that I had work for him to do. "What for?" he asked.**

**I smiled at him and pleaded, "Please just do it. It's very important to me that you stand next to our lovely new helper," I said.**

**Naruto stared at me for a moment, and I thought that he was going to refuse, but he grumbled quietly and pushed himself out of his chair, taking a place next to Ino.**

**With her heels on, Ino was still a good deal shorter than Naruto. His shoulders were wider, and…**

"**Naruto, could you please take off your jacket?" I asked.**

**His face burned and he glared at me before spitting out, "What the fuck for? Is this a strip show or something?"**

**The model next to him stepped on his foot and hissed, "Look, when Sai asks for something then _you do it!_"**

**Well, I guess that's minus ten points for personality, but plus five for enthusiasm.**

**Naruto shot her a look. "Okay, Ino, if you're so psyched about being his damn slave then why don't _you _just take my job?"**

"**Please?" I asked. Naruto turned back to me and I lowered my face and bit one of my fingers. I learned in acting school that that sort of thing is read as a coy way of pleading, and can also be executed in a way that implies sexual desire or frustration.**

**He jumped back a foot and waved his hands in the air. "Okay, okay!" Naruto shouted as he pulled one arm out of his black jacket, exposing a slightly more form-fitting black shirt. "I'll do it! My jacket's coming off! Just don't make weird faces, sheesh!"**

**Naruto laid his jacket over the back of another chair and took his place by Ino, his face beautifully flushed. "There, are you happy, you weirdo?" he spat as he folded his arms behind his back and widened his stance, military-style.**

**I smiled and nodded. "Yes, Naruto. Thank you."**

"**Um, do I need to do anything?" Ino asked shyly.**

"**No," I said. "I can see enough of your body, but thank you."**

"**Okay," she said cheerfully.**

**I turned around to speak to Nara and he gave me one of the most bizarre, ruffled looks I'd ever seen.**

**I brushed past it and explained. "Men and women are built very differently, a fact you should have full knowledge of. Men are of course taller, and generally broader, but the differences also lie in shape as you pointed out."**

**He shrugged. "I already know all that, and that's why I can't make men's clothing. The way that I start things off just doesn't work for men like it does for women."**

"**So," I said, trying to work the conversation to my point, "would you say that Naruto is ugly because he doesn't have the same curves as Ino?"**

"**I'd say he's ugly because he's a guy," Nara muttered.**

**I frowned and tilted my head to the side. "Please do away with your preconceived notions of gender. You can't call Naruto ugly simply because you're afraid of calling him attractive. I think they're both very attractive individuals, though they're different genders. I think you owe it to both of them to design something just for them, to apologize to Ino for objectifying her and to Naruto for intentionally lying about his visual worth."**

**Nara gaped at me. "What…did you just tell me to make something for each of them?"**

**I nodded. "That's exactly what I said, Mr. Nara," I said in a low voice, smiling for my own audacity. "By the end of today, you have to draw something that you will, in the next few weeks, show to the public that will start off your men's line, and those will be the pair of ensembles that you put together for Ino and Naruto."**

**Behind me, Ino jumped up and down in excitement. I could feel Naruto stiffen, and I glanced back at him to try to read his expression. He simply stared at the wall, his mouth folding into a grimace.**

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Sai went out on his own the next day to meet up with Shikamaru and I guess Ino now. It just figured that Ino the model would try to weasel in as much time with those two as possible—she probably wants to get in on Shikamaru's next show or something, and models just _love _making friends who'll show them around the rich 'n' famous circuit, and, you know, make them 'go places.'

I left my hotel room at eight that morning. Sai had already swung by and woken me up earlier when he'd left. He'd caved, I guessed, or maybe he just decided to not piss me off on a whim this time around with the hotel-room-thing, and got us each our own room. It didn't keep him out of my head that night, though, and I hoped during those few hours of trying to fall asleep that he'd decided to annoy me that night and let me hear that voice that gave me chills.

The first thing I did was find a donut shop. I rarely got to spend time by myself, so I enjoyed my solitude. I enjoyed it to ten donut's worth, to be honest, and then I left the donut shop because I didn't want to creep out any of the families or get any teenaged girl's attention.

Next, I dug my phone out of my pocket. I didn't want word to get around to Sakura or Sasuke that I was back in Konoha, so I contemplated who I'd call to eat up my free time, or if I'd even call anyone. Hinata had asked me out, kind of, I guess, but I knew that she was probably busy with a movie or something so I scratched her name off the list. I didn't want to hook up with any classmates that day, really, because I was scared about the Sakura-and-Sasuke thing. I walked around the neighborhood aimlessly for an hour until I came to a familiar intersection.

Curious as to where my feet would take me, I followed a path that seemed written out through time, and with each step I remembered the way a little better. I finally realized where I was going and broke out into a jog until I crossed the gate of my old high school.

I slowed down after that, and stopped when I was close to the building. I was an alumnus but I knew that I'd probably need a visitor's pass or something to get into the school. I moped around a bit until I realized that I had the next-best-thing.

I whipped out my phone and called Iruka's cell phone number. I tapped my foot as I waited through one, two, three, four rings, and then the ringing stopped and my old teacher whispered, "Naruto, it's nice to hear from you, but could you call back later?"

I listened to the background noise for a moment. The air conditioner in that room…it made that noise…yeah…I started to walk around the building so that I could see into another room. "I just wanted to say hello, Iruka. It's nice to talk, you know."

I could hear the frustration in the _silence_, even though I only heard calm in his voice. "Yes, it is, and I'd really like to catch up on things a little more but…hey!"

I waved up at him through a third-story window and he gawked down at me. A few curious students gathered by the window, and I smirked when I realized that I had probably ruined his class for the hour.

He brought me up to the room, probably to keep school security from throwing me out. "I've got my lunch break in two hours," he whispered as we walked up the second flight of stairs. "I'll let you stay if you can be good until then."

I nodded and smiled. Anything would be better than hanging around Sai, and listening to him talk about men's curves.

The image of him sitting naked and wet on his hotel bed burst its way into my mind. In all honesty, I can't say that he's unattractive.

Fuck, I might as well go all the way and admit that some things about him are, well…

Iruka pushed me into his class room and his students stared at me, some in curiosity, and some with boredom typical of kids who go to a public high school. I leaned back against the chalkboard and folded my arms as Iruka stood behind his desk.

"Class," he said, "this is Uzumaki Naruto, the greatest troublemaker in the history of our school."

"Hi," I said.

Iruka wasn't done, though. "During his years here, Naruto successfully called in two gas leaks, three bomb threats, and actually had the whole faculty look through lockers for drugs on several occasions when we received anonymous reports from citizens who all turned out to be Naruto himself. He's also repainted the school statues, created fake school menus and replaced the real ones with them, created fake school holidays, and is the reason why all of your desks are bolted down to the floor."

Woah! Explosion, duck for cover!

I turned to Iruka, a little surprised at the commentary. "Jeez, Iruka, I didn't know that you cared so much."

A few of his students laughed. Another tried to move his desk.

Iruka gave me his teacherly glare, the kind where all of the animosity in his eyes and his face looks perfectly calm, before turning back to his students. "I recently pulled a prank on Naruto!" he said to his class.

"What did you do, Mr. Umino?" a girl in the front asked.

Iruka grinned and shot me an evil grin. "Well," he said without looking at his students, "I can't tell you but I'm sure the name _Akuri_ means something to Naruto."

It didn't, at first, but then…

"Holy shit!" I shouted as I pointed at Iruka, who grinned back and me and folded his arms. "You're fucking kidding me!"

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Once the door to the teacher's lounge was shut, Iruka handed me a cup of coffee and smiled sheepishly. "I hope that it wasn't too bad, Naruto," he said, "but you have to admit that I was generous in my revenge. I've suffered a lot more embarrassment at your hands than you have at mine."

Another teacher, a really hot lady, sat down on the couch in the teacher's lounge and smiled at me. "You're the one he always talks about, huh?" she asked. "Are you the one who put up fake before-and-after breast augmentation photos of the principal?"

I nodded, a little guilty. Fuck, I was a stupid kid. "Yeah, that was me, ha ha ha," I said.

She smiled. "I thought it was genius. My name's Kurenai, by the way; I started to work here after you graduated. Iruka actually supervised me for a while, and he always talked about you."

"As a bad egg," Iruka added.

I stared at the floor. I didn't think that being remembered for my pranks would make me feel so empty inside.

Maybe it's still better than not being remembered at all.

Iruka jerked his thumb at me. "He's actually the one who got me with Kakashi."

Kurenai's eyes widened and she looked at me in wonder. "Wow," she said. "You must feel so proud of yourself."

"Why?" I asked. I certainly didn't feel like it.

"Well, in the time that I've known him, I know that Iruka's the happiest when he's with Kakashi," she said. Iruka opened his mouth to say something but she continued. "He told me that before he met Kakashi, he just went from day to day and did his job, and the only thing he enjoyed was looking after you."

I turned to face Iruka, and I waited for him to say something. It all rushed to me then: Iruka had been proud to take care of me. I saw it on his face, and I felt…

I nearly jumped on him. "I love you, man!" I shouted, as loud as I could. Kurenai tilted her head to the side and smiled uneasily as I nearly choked Iruka to death in a hug. "Even though you had some chick trick me into getting tied up and left by myself, I love you, man!"

Iruka gagged. "Get off of me…"

I squeezed harder. I guess that I haven't lost it over the years.

"Gah!" he cried out, and I let go. Iruka doubled over and tried to catch his breath, and my warm feelings filled up the room. After a minute of choking down air, Iruka straightened up.

"She wasn't some chick, anyway," he said. "She was one of the models in Sasuke's crew. I didn't tell Sasuke or anything, but when I saw her I thought she was your type, and at first I just wanted to ask her to talk to you but then I got this idea…"

I frowned. _My type?_ "What do you mean, my type?" I asked. Everyone knew that I'd liked Sakura and she looked nothing like Sakura…

"You know, dark hair, dark eyes, nice light skin, a classic Japanese beauty," he said, waving his hand in the air as if to circulate the points. "Nice lips, too. Sure, she wasn't Sakura, but…"

"Okay, wait," I said. "So you saw some girl who you thought was my type and you…"

"…quickly put together a revenge plan," he said. "You know, I thought that you'd figure out from the name I told her to use that it was my idea…you've always been a little slow in that department but I was hopeful…"

I sat down on the couch next to Kurenai. I watched the floor for a minute before looking up and asking, "How did you know that I like Yamamoto Nadesicos? I've only ever told you about one girl that I liked, and she doesn't have that coloring…"

Iruka smiled at sat down next to me. "You told me when you were little. I brought a men's magazine to your place one time and I left it there on accident. There was a section for pinups that the reader could order over the phone, and when I showed up at your apartment the next time you showed me the magazine, and the pinup you wanted wasn't a busty girl or a Lolita or anything like that, but a classic Japanese beauty that didn't show any skin."

I remembered it. And her lips had been nice and full.

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When I returned to the hotel, I stopped by Sai's room to see if he was there yet. I'd gotten something to eat with Iruka before heading back, so it was getting close to evening.

Sai answered the door wearing the most absurd shirt I'd ever seen. It was black, short to the point that it showed his stomach, and was long-sleeved on the right and short-sleeved on the left. To make matters worse, his black pants rode low on his hips and I was struck by the sight of…those curves Sai had probably been talking about.

NO NO NO NO NO!

I looked back at his face and he smiled. "Do you like it? I know it's a little over the top, but I told Shikamaru that this would be just for me."

I shook my head and pushed past him, into his apartment. My fingers accidentally brushed his side, though I'm not sure how much of it was an accident and how much was the result of my perverted mind and sex-deprived body. "What?" I asked, looking back at him over my shoulder as I took off my jean jacket, "Did he bring his sewing machine to the restaurant?"

Sai shut the door quietly and sat down on his couch, opening a bag that lay on the floor. I sat by him, but far away enough to feel like I wasn't sitting _with _him, and set my jacket down between us. "No, silly," he said, smiling at me, "we went to his Konoha office. I had his assistants put together a few things for me.'

When he reached in the bag, I blurted out, "I don't like that shirt."

Sai gave me a surprised look. "Well, you don't like a lot of the things that I wear."

I shook my head, a little embarrassed. "It looks sleazy."

He tilted his head to the side ever-so-slightly, as if he was watching for some change in my expression, before raising his hands to the zipper of his shirt and lowering the little piece of metal, opening the front of his shirt.

Sai took off his shirt quickly after that and I looked away. I hadn't seen much, but what I'd seen…

Damn it, I wasn't gay! That was just a passing fetish! I didn't like Sai, I didn't want to fuck Sai, I didn't want to have any more dreams about him, I didn't want to be affected by his voice, I didn't want Sai!

Something moved next to me, and I saw my jacket slip away. I looked up to see Sai putting on my jean jacket. He left it open in the front and folded his black shirt before putting it into the bag he'd been messing with before.

I'd never seen Sai in anything but black, and I'd though until that point that it was the black that made him look like himself. As I stared at him right then, though, he made my jacket look like something worth buying. It was so odd, to see that rough material against his soft skin…a part of me wanted to slip my hand inside the jacket, to touch his back, to keep the rough denim away from his body, and to touch the skin that had, as of late, tempted me into a difficult place.

"What are you doing?" I asked, a lump forming in my throat.

Sai smiled at me. "Well, you wear this jean jacket so you must approve of it. I don't really like it, but all that I have in the living room are clothes from Nara and this jacket that you don't seem to need right now, so I'm going to try to wear the piece of clothing that won't warrant outbursts from you."

I opened my mouth to speak but he pulled something out of the bag. "Speaking of the clothing that Nara gave me, there's a shirt in here that I wanted you to try on."

He held out a green shirt that looked like it was made of a soft material that I wouldn't wear. In his hand, it didn't look as crappy as that other thing he'd been wearing but I still didn't trust it.

"Come on," he said when my only response was to regard the shirt with disgust, "I made him promise to make something for you and I have to know if this is good, or if we need to design something else. This is a part of his re-education, Naruto."

I stared at the shirt a moment longer before shaking my head. "No way," I said.

Sai pouted and I glanced down at his chest. Fuck! The eyes, idiot, look him in the eyes! "But this means a lot to me," he said in a soft voice.

I knew that it did, but…I was sick of playing whatever game Sai wanted to play. "Look," I said, trying to form a compromise, "I'll wear it if I can be there when you two design it."

"But it's his job as a designer!" Sai argued. "You probably don't know what looks good on you until you've tried it anyway."

I scowled. Sakura had once said the same thing.

"Please," he said, edging closer to me on the couch, "just try it on. You don't have to show me if you don't want to, just try it."

I almost gave it, but I was growing a little frustrated. "Sai, no, okay? Just drop it." I stood to leave, but Sai grabbed my shirt to keep me from leaving. His dark eyes lit up and he slung the green shirt over his shoulder and grabbed my shirt with his other hand, too, and started to lift my shirt up.

"Oh fuck no!" I shouted, knocking his hands away. He grinned and I backed away. Sai followed me and reached for my shirt again. He pulled it up to my chest and I grabbed his hands, hard, and pushed him against the wall with his hands above his head. The shirt had fallen since then from his shoulder, never to be worn by yours truly.

"Why can't you…" I started. Sai gazed back at me calmly with his pretty dark eyes, and his soft lips formed a neutral expression, waiting, docile.

We stared at each other, both of us waiting on whatever was going to come out of my mouth. It was screwed up by then, though, so I choked on the words that were never going to come out because they didn't mean anything and I breathed in the smell of Sai's hair. The skin on his wrists under my hands was soft, and I could feel his fingers dangling loose and pliant.

He suddenly relaxed his neck and leaned forward so that his head was on my shoulder, or almost there; not resting, not bothering, just supplicating. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Alright, I know not…to do that now. Though to be honest…"

I waited for him to speak, but it didn't really matter if he did or not. To be honest, he didn't really mind bothering me. To be honest, he didn't think he'd done anything wrong. To be honest, I as his assistant should have been more than happy to try on a shirt for him.

"…to be honest, the offense probably outweighs the punishment." He whispered.

I pulled back a little, sliding my hands down his arms just a bit. Sai looked back up, a little guilty. "What do you mean?" I asked, my words caught in my throat.

A troubled look came across his face, as if he didn't know if it would be better to answer or to tell me to forget about it.

"Naruto…I _like _this…"

His eyes were dark and open. Sai had made himself…vulnerable? To me? No cute grin, no laughter, no condescending talk…Sai's face looked a little pink, and he felt warm.

I had to react, I had to say something, and I felt weak so I decided to cover myself as best I could. I pushed his arms harder against the wall and glared at him. "What do you mean, you _like _it?" I growled.

Sai studied my face for a moment, his eyes wandering, trying to figure out my expression, trying to decide which answer to give. He wears that look when he's trying to be cautious, when he doesn't want to upset me…when he wants an answer that may not be true, but that I'll be happy with.

"I…" he whispered. I was close enough to see into his dark, pretty eyes, and he tried to look into mine before looking away to think.

We stood like that, both of us waiting on Sai's answer, when I realized that more of my body was pressed against Sai's than I'd thought. I guess that I was just angry, so when I'd lost my head and thrown him against the wall I hadn't realized that I'd pinned his chest with mine, and that I'd gotten a knee between his legs and my hips were pressed almost flush with his.

Sai's eyes widened as he stared at the floor when he realized this at the same time as I did. He didn't look at me at first, but I could feel his breathing still in his chest as realization came over. I pulled my body away from his, not releasing my grip on his arms, as I backed away from the wall to try to cover the information I'd given away.

He turned to look at me then, his cheeks a little flushed, more out of surprise for my erection than embarrassment or any kind of disturbance that would normally come along with that sort of discovery.

I glared at him, angry at both him and myself. His soft lips parted and he caught his breath again, his expression loose as he tried to come to terms with the situation. My face had caught on fire by then, and I couldn't look away from his pretty face as he tried to come to terms with what he'd found pressed against his hip.

A smile suddenly graced his face.

"Is that for me?" he whispered. There was no worry or discomfort in his voice. No joking toned underlined that suggestive little question.

I swallowed. Fuck, fuck, fuck. With every second that I stared back at him, speechless and ashamed, I might as well have confessed what I'd though and felt for the past few weeks. My fetish. I wanted to screw Sai, and, against my hopes, and my resentment, and my anger, he'd found out.

It was my turn to carefully choose an answer. My brain wasn't working too well, so I had to narrow down my options, and fast.

Number One: say no. Act like he's making it up. Call him a queer. Ask 'what do you mean, is 'that' for me?' or something to that effect…you know, whatever I'd be able to force out of my mouth at the time.

Number Two: ignore the question completely. Ask him what he meant when he said that he 'liked it'. Tell him to not change the subject.

Number Three: well…

…he HAD offered to suck my dick before.

I don't belong anywhere, really, now that I think about it. Not with Sakura and Sasuke, not with Sai. There were certain things that I didn't need to be ashamed about. Those nights that I spent alone in college, when I fell asleep and said 'Tomorrow, I'll become someone else. Tomorrow, my life starts.' never really ended.

My first impulse was to go with one of the first two options, to shamefully try to cover up my desire, to sweep over it. And then I remembered those nights, and I remembered how regretful I'd become when I went to sleep the next night without changing anything. So, what was the difference? What else could I do?

Maybe I just…hadn't been looking hard enough.

Number Three:

I gently slid my hands down from his wrists, down his arms, and I placed my hands on either side of his face. I paused for one second before firming my resolve, closing my eyes, and kissing him.

My last thought before I felt his lips for the second time: even if he doesn't want it, he probably won't mind.

I kept the kiss short because if he rejected me, I didn't want him to push me away and stare at me like a madman. I was still a little…nervous, and definitely unsure. Kissing a guy for the first time wasn't how I'd imagined it to be, but that makes sense if you take into account the fact that it was Sai who I kissed. When he'd spat coffee into my mouth at the reunion, I'd only gotten a brief brush of pillow-soft lips before the hot, super-sweet coffee came.

As I held him to his living room wall, though, there was nothing to feel but his soft, soft mouth.

I pulled away and opened my eyes. He hadn't closed his all the way and he stared at me with half-lidded eyes, his lips slightly pink from the kiss and I noticed that he'd parted them. I'm not sure if he did that when I'd kissed him, or afterwards, but he looked like he would have been happy to take anything else from me with that kiss.

Sai raised his hands and I waited. I really, really wanted to jump back from him right then because I didn't want him to push me away, I didn't want to threaten him, and I didn't know how much more I could take if it turned out that he'd liked it and wanted to go further. He rested his hands gently on my sides and waited for some kind of permission. We both stood there again, like a bunch of idiots, like two people who had never kissed before.

He smiled, just a little, and his face lit up as he leaned forward and whispered, "Come on." before pulling me towards him. I sank my mouth back onto his for another kiss, and as soon as I'd closed my eyes I could feel his hands stroking my back, pulling me towards him. There was another rush of blood to my cock and my whole body sang for Sai.

Sai's soft hands moved to the back of my head where they twisted in my hair. My own hands had grown restless and they moved to places they'd wanted to go for weeks, too hungry to take things slowly. I slid my hands underneath the jean jacket that adorned Sai's body and I found blessed, soft, pale skin. I touched his sides, his back, his hips, before deciding that this was something that I was okay with.

I ran my hands over his body again, more boldly this time, more ready. Sai broke our kiss and I turned my head to the side when his lips traveled over the side of my face, to my ear where his tongue slipped in to ever-so-slightly, sending chills down my back before I felt his hands move back down to my sides, slip under my shirt for a moment, and then he pulled his hands off of my body for a moment.

I slid one hand out from underneath my jacket on Sai's perfect body to pull his face back to mine. He smiled a little and closed his eyes as I kissed him again, hungrier this time, with no hesitation whatsoever. Sai's lips parted and I worked up the little bit of courage I needed to put my tongue in his mouth. He let me do what I wanted to do, and leaned his head back to allow me to do it. His body sagged and softened against the wall and I wrapped an arm around him to hold his chest to mine.

My eyes shot open when I felt the flats of his palms pressed to the front of my jeans, and I saw that Sai's eyes had opened ever so slightly to read my reaction to this new development. I pulled my mouth from his wet, swollen lips, and panted as panic set in.

Sai tilted his head to the side. "Naruto…do you remember what I offered to you at the reunion?" he asked softly, his voice husky.

I waited for him to elaborate. I knew what he was talking about but I didn't want to get my hopes up…I really didn't even know if I wanted to get my hopes up.

I wasn't gay…

I'd never…

…but then again, what reason did I have to not try it? What had those feelings ever brought me?

I leaned my head again the wall, next to his, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. "Yeah, I remember…when I was on the bed, right?"

He turned to whisper right into my ear. "If it wouldn't bother you…"

My heart started to pound in my chest. This was it. I couldn't lie to myself anymore…I wanted Sai. Even if it wasn't for keeps. Even if I couldn't go all the way with him. It had nothing to do with making him happy or falling in love.

Did I…

Did I…

And then, I listened to his words again. If it wouldn't bother me? Who the hell could've been bothered by a blowjob?

My brain screamed, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE! DON'T BE A PUSSY UZUMAKI!

The words I wanted to say wouldn't come out of my brain, and words, altogether, seemed lost on me then. I choked out a, "Yes," before kissing him again.

Sai gently pulled my face from his, concern written over his God-perfect features. "Yes, it would bother you?" he asked softly, his fingers playing with my zipper and the front of my jeans. "Or yes, you'd like me to?"

My face burned a deeper shade of red and I answered by placing a hand over the fingers on my crotch, holding them to me. I leaned forward and whispered into his ear, "Do it. Please."

He kissed me on the cheek and leaned his head back so he could see what he was doing. I backed away a little to give him room, and he quickly unzipped my jeans and opened the button. I kicked off the shoes I should have taken off before and, when I looked back, Sai on his knees between my legs and the wall. His soft lips brushed against my stomach and I closed my eyes, bracing my upper body against the wall with my arms as he pulled down my boxers for The Moment Of Truth.

Sai wasted no time and I barely even saw my dick before it was in his mouth. Dear God, it was Heaven! I hadn't had anything like that in ages…even when I have sex, I don't usually get blown…

He reached around and grabbed my ass, pulling my hips closer as he started to bob his head up and down. I took a fistful of silky black hair in my right hand and closed my eyes for a moment before deciding that I didn't want to miss the show. Sai was much more efficient than I would have expected; he always seemed so playful, and I knew that he liked fucking with my head but, when he was on his knees that day with my cock nearly crammed down every time I thrust forward, he didn't once play with me.

"Fuck, Sai," I whispered before resorting to panting as my main means of communication. His tongue slid over the underside of my cock and I moved my hand lower, to the base of his head. I knew that I probably should've just let go but I couldn't keep my hand away from his hair. He moved his hands to my hips and started to suck harder before pulling his hot, silky mouth away from my dick, grabbing the base, and resorting to sucking on the top half of my dick.

I soon realized why when I felt his tongue ghost over my cock, and then again, and then again. I watched his face but he never looked up, he never watched me, and he even shut his eyes for part of it. Good god, he had a good tongue!

My balls started to tighten and Sai sped up, pulling my cock farther into his mouth again. I thought of warning him but he just pulled my hips closer and when I came on his mouth, he didn't unlatch his face from my dick until I was finished.

I panted as he cleaned me off, and he even kissed my stomach and hips a few times. My shame had returned and I pulled my boxers and jeans back on before sinking to the floor with him. He let me be as I stared into space, trying to collect my thoughts and feelings.

I turned back to him after a few minutes and looked him over. Sai looked tired and happy, and I knew that he might have been turned on right then but I felt too crappy and inexperienced to do anything about it. Not to mention the fact that I have no idea of what to do with a dick.

I reached out a shaky hand and touched his face. He took my hand and kissed my wrist gently. My heart had settled by then, even though my brain had just started to work, and the reality of what had just happened hit me.

"Uh…" I said. Suddenly uneasy, I pulled my arm back. Sai let it go and watched me. "That was…great." The color had DEFINITELY not left my face by then, and I let my eyes dance over Sai's face as I tried to think of something else to say. Where did we go from there? What did…_that_…make us?

Fuck, his lips were swollen. He looked good enough to fuck…I could be honest about it, after that.

"…thanks," I croaked out after a minute.

Sai smiled and leaned forward on his hands. "You're very welcome, Naruto," he said softly, his voice only betraying ever-so-slightly the fact that his mouth had recently taken up a new use, besides talking and eating.

I squinted a little. "Should I…?" I asked, reaching for his pants.

Sai caught my hands and studied my face. "Naruto…" he started. I watched in a stupor as he pushed my hands back to me.

"I could," I insisted, against my own nervousness.

He frowned. "It's…what you want. From now on, if you want me to do anything to you, or if you…want to do anything to me," he said, his face still a little flushed, "then I'll go anywhere you want to go. But, that's all."

I turned this over in my head. "Don't you want to…I mean, I know really know what you're into, but…"

Sai didn't say anything for a minute. He just stared at me, and I wondered if he was as attracted to me as I'd been to him, though only recently. Sai was much better looking than me, at least by most people's standards. I knew that he liked guys, so there were probably a lot of guys that he could have…I figured that he probably didn't like sex too much, if he was ignoring all the ass out there, excuse my language.

He smiled at me, then leaned forward. "Trust me, Naruto," he whispered. "I'm up for whatever you want. I'll wait…for whatever you have to give me, and I'll give you any I can with my body."

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**Naruto lingered in my room a little longer, but I shooed him off to his bed with the excuse that I needed to work on something for Nara. When he was out, I stripped off my clothes in the living room and made my way to the bathroom for a cold shower. I noticed on my way there that a window was open…not a large window, as I usually do close those when I'm in a public building, but a small window that over looked a desk. I frowned, hoping for Naruto's sake as well as mine that no one had seen us through the window.**

**I'll just…have to see what happens.**

**Naruto is not mine. I can't take anything from him just because I want it, and I have no expectations. Tomorrow, he may quit as my assistant. Tomorrow, he may want to share my bed for a few hours.**

**No one can say what will happen in the future, but we can all work for the things we want. The joy in my life…is finding those things that I want to work for, because they are so few and far between.**

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	6. Answered Loneliness

The Us-Them Complex, Chapter Six

Pairings: NarutoSai

Side pairings now include KakashiIruka, ChoujiIno

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Notes:

This is a double first-person point of view story. In other words, some of it is told by Naruto, and some of it is told by Sai.

Naruto

**Sai**

All—

Contest Announcement! Draw something for this story and send the picture to sugarnomore, followed by 'at yahoo dot com' (sorry, this site is crap when it comes to links and stuff). The winner will get an M-rated oneshot for any pairing except, um, like SasuSaku or SasuNaru or weird shit. Like, no crack pairings. Oh, I guess it's all negotiable.

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My body felt warm all over the next morning. I pulled the hotel blankets around myself, enjoying the soft sensation. As I was about to yawn, it hit me.

"Holy shit." I swore. I sat up in bed and looked around my room. It was mine, alright; I hadn't done anything else with Sai. Oh God, anything _else…_

Panic set in and I got off my bed, walking around my hotel room to try to work off my anxiety. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What had I done? What had happened? Hell, what was _going _to happen? I thought about playing the cool part, and acting like nothing had changed. It was just a blowjob, right? Nothing cemented us together. Just a one-night stand, and not a good one for Sai. He'd given and I'd taken and nothing more. Sure, we'd kissed, and I couldn't complain about that, but…now, that wasn't normal. None of it was.

I tore my way to the bathroom and tried to do my usual morning things: go to the bathroom, take a shower, get dressed. The whole time, though, my mind was on Sai. My hands had started to shake by the time I was drying off, and I looked at myself in the mirror.

What had happened to _me_?

"_Naruto…I LIKE this…"_

Maybe I could drop the cool act. You know, act like we were…lovers. Boyfriends. Ech. Kiss him when he showed up, hold his hand, tell him some of the things that had been popping up in my mind recently…

No, no, no. Bad idea. Very bad idea. I don't even know what the weirdo would _do _if I got lovey-dovey with him. I didn't want to go farther than he would.

Something in-between, then? I finished drying myself off and headed over to my chest of drawers, digging out a pair of boxers and some socks. I pulled them on with uneasy hands as I tried to calm myself down. Maybe I could admit that something had happened, but let on that I wasn't sure of what it was. That was the truth, anyway. I'd never done anything like that before…I'd known Sai for years, and hell, I'd spent most of the last couple of years with him without anything happening, and then we'd gone and…I'd never done that with anyone before. I'd never had casual sex with someone I actually _knew_. What were you supposed to do?

And I still kind of owed him, even if he didn't think I did. Sai…knew how to treat his bed partners.

Maybe a better term would be fuck buddies. I'd be alright with that, at least until my attraction to Sai wore off. It would wear off eventually, right? And until then, I could explore whatever it was I'd found with him the day before.

I pulled a casual, short-sleeved collared shirt out of my closet and pulled it on. I'd buttoned it up halfway when I got a knock on the door.

"Hold on!" I shouted. "I'm not dressed!"

There was a pause. "Can I come in?" Sai asked softly on the other side of the door.

My fingers fumbled the button I'd been working on and I stared at the door. Did Sai want to see me, even if he knew I wasn't dressed? He was attracted to me, or at least I thought so. I wasn't sure. Everything about him and me was weird then.

Regardless of Sai's feelings, I wasn't even sure if _I _was comfortable with him seeing me like that. Then again, we were both guys…and we had already seen each other naked. And I wasn't completely naked this time…my boxers didn't show too much….but they were still underwear…

"Naruto?" Sai asked.

I couldn't keep him waiting. It was time for an answer.

"S-sure," I choked out, walking across the room to my door and opening it. Sai stood outside, wearing all black as usual, his face blank. I really needed him to help me figure out what was going on and he was doing a crappy job of it.

His black eyes swept over me and I rolled my eyes, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him into my room so I could shut the door. When I looked back at him after I'd dead-bolted it, he looked away and smiled a little.

I frowned, my face burning red. "I told you I wasn't dressed," I said, embarrassed. He nodded and kept his eyes away from me, turning instead to the windows on the far wall.

"It seems like you don't mind sharing your body with the rest of the world," Sai sai, pointing to the wide-open windows.

"Shit!" I shouted. I stormed over to the window and closed one of them, nearly breaking the damn thing in frustration. To my surprise, Sai had joined me and closed the other large window with a serious look on his face. He didn't lift his eyes from the closed blinds when he was done.

"I'm going to see Nara again today," he said softly. I nodded and waited for any sign from him that would let me get a grasp of his feelings. He looked at me then, as if he was waiting, too.

We stared at each other until I caught what he'd said. "Uh…" I mumbled, "Just give me a minute to get ready." Sai didn't look away from me, and I started to tense up. What the hell was I doing with him?

"Alright," he said softly. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "So, can I just wait here for you?"

I nodded. He was in my living room; there was nothing strange or familiar about him waiting for me to change while we were in different room. Hell, it was probably weirder that I'd let him into my hotel room in the first place. "Just…" I said as I started to walk back to my bedroom. Sai watched me, his expression open, waiting for me to tell him what was wrong and what was right.

What if Sai didn't know what to do?

I leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the lips. He looked a little stunned when I pulled back and touched his lips with soft, bare fingers. I didn't know what my kiss had meant to Sai, but it had felt good.

That's what I would do. I'd just try…whatever felt good.

"Just wait in here," I said, the words coming out a little more easily. "And don't walk in on me when I'm dressing."

Sai nodded quickly and I turned around. When I was in my bedroom, I flopped down on my bed face-first and pulled a pillow over my head.

This was _not _going to be easy.

We drove to Chouji's restaurant in awkward silence. I snuck a few looks at him during the drive, thought I think he just stared out the window the whole time. I just shook it off. I'd try to talk to him later.

We both needed some time to try to come to terms with what we'd done.

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**As I've said before, my name was not always Sai. I once went by Aitsagawa Satoshi, but before that I was just Satoshi. My first memories were of an orphanage in Tokyo, where I found the first friend of my life, and the person who would matter the most to me until one fateful night, many years later.**

**I also learned in the orphanage years that I was not like other children.**

**They wouldn't let me play with them, and that was alright. I spent many days drawing idly at a small plastic table in the recreation room while the others played outside, in the sun. My skin was always pale; my hair, black; my expression, stoic. I was uninteresting and creepy to the others.**

**One day, a boy came in from a soccer game. He'd scraped his knees on the parking lot pavement when he'd had a pushing match with another boy, so he'd wandered inside to have his scrapes cleaned.**

**The woman supervising me looked at his knees in horror. "Wait with Satoshi," she said as blood dripped down his legs. "I'll bring a first aid kit, but don't move." She muttered something else under her breath as she scurried off, and the boy sat beside me.**

**I looked him over. I'd never caught his name before, but I knew him by his looks—chin-length hair that was light in color, and dark eyes. He was always outside, playing games with the others, always making a fool out of himself. He was very outgoing, and so unlike myself.**

**After waiting for a few minutes, he snuck a peek at my drawing. "Wow!" he shouted, taking the paper from under my hands. The pain in his knees didn't seem to bother him too much. I watched impassively as he looked at my drawing up-close.**

**I drew trees in those days, and that had been a practice sketch of the ficus in the playroom. He admired it like it was a masterpiece, though, and turned back to me after he was done looking at the drawing.**

"**Hi," he said with a big smile, "my name's Hiroshi." He put the drawing on the table again, upside-down. I turned it around and resumed drawing.**

**Hiroshi stared at me but I ignored him.**

"**What's your name?" he asked.**

"**Satoshi," I said quietly. I added yellow crayon marks to the leaves; green was never enough, not for something that lived.**

**He laughed like the child that he was. "Our names sound similar," he said. The woman rushed back into the room to clean up his knees but he didn't turn away from me completely.**

"**You like drawing, Satoshi?" he asked.**

**I shrugged. "I don't really like anything."**

**He frowned at me, his long, unkempt hair hanging in his face. "Do you like soccer?" he asked, trying to get me to talk.**

**I set down my crayon and looked at him, paying attention to him for the first time. "I don't know," I said.**

**As soon as his knees were bandaged and the woman had left the room to put the first aid kit away, he took my arm and pulled me off of my small plastic chair. "Come play soccer with me," he insisted.**

"**I don't know how," I said, though I didn't try to pull away.**

**He smiled at me. "I'll teach you!"**

**From that day forward, I spent my free time playing soccer with Hiroshi and drawing. The others still didn't like me, and I didn't care for them one way or another, but I liked spending time with Hiroshi. He showed me things that were fun, things that I could enjoy in life.**

**Every once in a while, a potential parent would come to the orphanage to look for a child to adopt. The head of the orphanage would always collect the children they thought had the most appeal, find nice clothing for them, and send them down to the eating room to meet the prospective parent.**

**I was almost always sent because I never made trouble. Even though my attitude sent all of the potential parents away, there was always a chance that someone would take my good health and physically careful behavior as proof that I was a good child.**

**The man that the head of the orphanage had been looking for came for me one day. He immediately walked over to me and looked over my face.**

"**He's like a little doll," he said, right into my face. The head of the orphanage smiled uneasily and nodded, walking around to put a hand on my shoulder.**

"**Satoshi's so quiet, too! You won't even know he's there!" she said, trying to press me onto the man.**

**He was scary…his face was half-covered in bandages, his hair was messy and straggly, and he was old, so old.**

"**Satoshi, honey," the head of the orphanage said, turning to me, "you want to go home with Danzou, don't you?"**

**I could only blink at her. I had no idea of what I wanted.**

**A few orphanage workers spoke with Danzou before we left together. Hiroshi waved at me madly and I stared back up at him through the window and the space that separated us. Danzou pushed me towards his car and I looked back, and waved.**

**Hiroshi gave me a thumbs-up to show that he was happy for me. I'd never known why he had never been selected for a showing, like me. He was athletic and outgoing, a wonderful little boy.**

**I was eight when I was adopted. I received a letter from the head of the orphanage a few years later that told me of his death.**

**_Hiroshi finally lost the fight with his disease,_ it said. Nothing specific. No invitation to his funeral.**

**I threw the letter away when Danzou asked me what it said, and I told him it was nothing important, just that the people at the orphanage were curious about what I was doing and that I didn't care to respond. I was too busy with school and acting work by then anyway.**

**I knew that I couldn't preserve my old friend in a letter.**

**Danzou had chosen me that day at the orphanage because he said that I had a face like a doll, and that he thought I could become an actor. He enrolled me in junior acting classes, and made me audition for plays and commercials when I was young. He changed my name, in order to pretend that I was his child; and as the child of the once-famous writer and director Aitsagawa Danzou, I was destined to become a great actor.**

**I never wanted any of that, but I'd always known that it was easier to do what was expected of me, or rather what I was told, than to find things that I liked for myself. I lived as his tool, and Danzou lived through me, crediting himself for my successes and handling all of the money I made.**

**When I turned fourteen, he sent me to an acting school in England. My English was nearly perfect by then, and many of the students at my school though that my accent and face were beautiful.**

**Westerners.**

**There were only boys at my school, and quite a few voiced a certain affinity for my looks. I ignored comments and the like until I spent some time in my roommate's bed one night, curious about what I'd heard all of the others talking about.**

**I'd found something that I liked. I kept a low profile at that school, though. I knew all the boys who were in the market for affection, and they knew me, so I just went from bed to bed whenever I could. I felt no attachments to any of them, though. We acted normally around each other during the day, and when we went out we didn't hold hands. Some of them even pursued girls, though I never took to that path. At night, sex was a game, and it was sometimes a game of control, but it was still a game and no one played for keeps.**

**I was strict with my studies. I was a little popular at my school in England, more for my ethnic background and my looks than my night life. I received compliments from many of my teachers, and I often found myself in large roles in the plays that the school put on. My school in England was nothing like the companies I'd worked in back in Japan; the productions cost quite a bit of money, drew a large audience, and the whole school was set on performances.**

**My eyesight became worse as I studied, and I soon found myself wearing glasses. Danzou was not happy about that, and he started to look into ways of fixing my eyes. He decided not to do anything until I was ready to work, though; he didn't want anything to get in the way of my education.**

**When my training in England was finished, I came back to Japan and auditioned for a place in a prestigious acting school. The social system wasn't much different between the two places, and I soon knew quite a few students that had the same inclinations as myself; the only difference was that in England, I climbed from bed to bed in a school, but I was free to fuck or get fucked by my Japanese classmates in the privacy of our own apartments. We all had our own places, and nearly every student at the school was the rich son-or-daughter of someone famous. I told all of my classmates that Danzou was my father, just as he'd wanted me to, and some of them wanted to talk about his old works with me.**

**It was boring, and then it was fun when we fucked, and then it was boring, and I had something to do during my training, and then it was boring again. I asked Danzou for more money and I soon had a nice apartment on the nice side of town, a place I could bring anyone to, and we could do anything we wanted.**

**On one of those nights, we decided to go over lines before fucking. I'd invited five classmates to come over, and some of us were horny already but we all knew that the production came first.**

**One of my classmates started to complain after a while. "If I knew I'd have to use my brain, I would've eaten something before I got here," he said.**

**I shrugged. "Your fault, your problem," I said. It was only true. "But," I added when he started to seem angry, "if you order something I'll pay for it."**

**He opened his backpack and drew out an orange flyer. A drawing depicting a frog sitting on a bowl of noodles adorned the top of the flyer. "Here," he said, handing me the flyer, "I found this on my door today."**

**I looked over it. "Ichiraku Ramen?" I asked.**

**Another one of them laughed. "That place is clear across town!"**

**I'd never had ramen before, but I thought that, maybe, I'll try it. I sighed as I thought about soccer. I'd liked that, once, too…**

"**It's good, though," the hungry complainer said in embarrassment.**

**I picked up my phone and started to dial the number. As the phone rang, some of the others laughed. I decided that I'd just tip the delivery boy well. I had the money, anyway, since Danzou had decided to give me whatever I wanted in exchange for obedience and success.**

"**Hello, Ichiraku Ramen, this is Ichiraku speaking, how can I help you?" an old man asked on the other end.**

"**Um…" I said. I handed my phone to the hungry complainer and he ordered something for me enthusiastically.**

**When he was done with the phone, he told me how much the total was. I went into my bedroom, pulled the money out of my 'cash box', and rejoined the others in the living room as we went over lines. I brought a few beers out to tide them over until the ramen came, though I didn't have any myself; I've never liked the taste of it. I wouldn't drink when I was working, either; that was not a part of Danzou's plan for me.**

**The doorbell rang about half an hour later. The hungry complainer cheered and I picked the money off the table before I remembered the tip. I walked back to my room, took more money, and answered the door.**

**What greeted my eyes was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. He was blonde, he was a little shorter than I was, his eyes were blue, his right ear was pierced from top to bottom with silver, he wore headphones around his neck, and he was not happy. He was also holding three bags full of what I assumed was ramen, though I wasn't sure because I'd never had it before.**

"**Hey," he said as he looked into my apartment. His face was a little flushed from his journey, and the look suited him. I thought that he seemed like a character in a movie, like a rough guy, like the yakuza type. Those people weren't real, though, and the fact that that separated him from them made him all the more wonderful.**

**A few of the guys shouted, "FOOD TIME!" and laughed. Some of them were drunk by them, and I didn't want to get fucked by drunken guys but I knew that it was my fault for giving them beer.**

**I gave him the money I'd brought and he flipped through it after I took the bags from him. The hungry complainer walked over and took them from me, into the kitchen to put the ramen into real dishes, I assumed. I didn't really care as long as he didn't break anything.**

**The delivery boy looked at me for a moment and I looked back. He was nice to look at. The expression on his face told me that he most likely didn't think the same thing about me but he was still looking, for some reason.**

**I smiled. I thought that it would have been nice to have him in my apartment, instead of my acting school classmates.**

"**Satoshi!" one of them shouted. I looked over and he held up an empty beer bottle, a sign that more was needed. The others held their bottles up, too, and I smiled at the delivery boy one last time before waving at him and shutting my door.**

**I needed to play host, after all. I was taught that if I kept good relations with my classmates, that we might have been able to stay close after school was over, and I could use their connections to get jobs.**

**I picked up the empty beer bottles and took them to the kitchen to throw away. When I returned with a few more, one of my classmates held up a wad of bills. "Hey, look what I got!" he said, waving them in my face.**

**I stared at his hand for a moment before I realized what had happened. I wondered why the delivery boy hadn't said anything…it had looked like he'd counted the bills, after all. Maybe he hadn't.**

**I set down the bottles, pulled the money out of his hand, and ran out the door.**

**Luckily for me, the delivery boy hadn't gotten too far away, though I had to run to catch up with him. He scowled at me when he saw me, and he didn't move while I caught my breath.**

**As soon as I was able, I pulled myself up and asked, "So, you didn't count the bills I gave you?"**

**His expression turned even sourer than it had been before. "I counted them, alright," he growled. Oh, that lovely voice! Just like a movie Yakuza!**

**I wondered why he wouldn't have asked for more money, then, because if he'd counted it he would have known that there was not enough money to cover the bill, but I just smiled and pulled out the money I'd meant to give him out of my pocket. When he reached for it I noticed that he was wearing biking gloves…he just kept getting better!**

**He counted the money, and I hoped that he counted it right this time, and made sure that it was enough, because I hadn't brought my wallet with me so I had no way of giving him anything else. He stared at the money for a moment before glaring up at me.**

"**What the fuck is this?" he asked, still in that same, rough, edgy voice.**

**What, he didn't know what money was? I realized that I needed to explain it to him…but something was bothering me about the situation. "The money I gave you before was meant to be a tip," I answered. Even if he hadn't understood that, I didn't see why he felt the need to be so angry. I'd brought him the money he needed. He opened his mouth, a look of surprise on his face.**

"**I forgot to get the tip for you before, so when I went back to get it I accidentally left the rest of the money in my bedroom and I only realized it a few minutes ago." I explained. Realization dawned on me. "You didn't think that I was going to pay for all of it?"**

**Why would he have thought that?**

"**Look," he said, taking a breath, "this late at night, people tend to do stuff like that and I didn't want to get into an argument with a rude rich guy, just to have him laugh at me and shut the door in my face."**

**I frowned as I considered this. I didn't know what I'd done that would make him read me that way, but I had to find out. My reactions and speech were usually so controlled…if I had done something like that unintentionally, then I needed to know about it. At the same time, I knew that people sometimes misread me even when I had not made a mistake. As we looked at each other, and animosity and insecurity poured out of him, I thought that this was more likely.**

**But what kinds of feelings…**

"**So," I started, trying to work out the situation, "why didn't you think I was going to pay? Why didn't you…ask?" **

**The delivery boy looked uncertain. "I…because I didn't…"**

**I sighed. So that was the way that things were…maybe I'd realized how he felt. What else could have made him judge me like that? I looked back at him and asked, "You decided to hate me from the beginning?"**

**And then, the thugs struck.**

**He was more than a delivery boy, more than whatever he thought he was. I saw it in the way he fought, in his passion, in his judgment. He could have hurt the thugs to a greater extent than he chose to, but he was…a good person.**

**He pulled me away from them when the fight was over. The side of my face hurt, a reminder of the attack I'd taken. I'd never been in a fight in all of my life, and I was still a little stunned.**

**He, though…he was fuming, and I could feel the energy in his body. He was wonderful, and he became more wonderful every second that I saw him, with every word he spat out.**

**I smiled at him, and when he turned around he frowned at me and shouted, "What the hell are you smiling for?"**

**My smile broadened. God, he was…so different…his demeanor, his actions, his attitude… "You were wonderful," I admitted. It was true; there should have been nothing wrong with speaking the truth. "Just like…I've seen in movies, when the hero comes in to save the day."**

**He glared at me. "Fuck you," he growled.**

**The smile fell from my face. I couldn't understand his animosity. What was it that made him feel the way he felt? What had I done to make him act towards me with such hostility? I wasn't sure if I'd done anything at all, other than give him praise, and he was certainly worthy of it. "What?" I asked as I followed him. "Why would you say that? I just called you a hero. That really was fantastic."**

**He didn't look over his shoulder as he shouted, "Did you hire those guys or something?" and started to walk at a faster pace.**

**I widened my strides to follow him. Why was he evading my question? "Why would you ask that? Once again, you're accusing me of doing something to you."**

"**Well, you seemed to enjoy it," he answered gruffly.**

**The pain in my face suddenly worsened, and I brought my fingers up to test the puffiness of my cheek. "It hurts…" I lamented as I caught up to him on the dark street. "Will I have a bruise in the morning?"**

**He ignored me, and my question, as I followed him to his place of work. I'd never been to a ramen stand before, but I followed him in out of curiosity. I wasn't finished talking to him.**

**We both ate ramen there, and I didn't really care for the noodles one way or another. I did, however, like the delivery boy when he opened up and told me about himself. His name was Uzumaki Naruto, and he was a Radio, Television, and Film student at the nearby college, as well as a part-time delivery boy at Ichiraku Ramen. He told me that he was from Konoha, a place I'd never heard of before, and that he wasn't sure about the direction his life was taking him in. I never said it, but I wished that I could have cared enough to have not been sure. I could have told him that I was on the road to success, or that my name meant something back in a school in England, but those things didn't matter to me. Naruto was much more…interesting, the way he spoke, the way he reacted, the way he thought.**

**I tried to tell him, back then, that I thought he was wonderful. Many years before, Hiroshi had shown me that there were things in the world that I could love; I just needed to look for them and try them. And though Naruto didn't try to get my attention in the same way Hiroshi had, I still saw the same kind of opportunity in that blonde delivery boy as I'd found when Hiroshi opened my eyes.**

**He told me that he didn't have friends anymore, and I couldn't see how that could have been true. He was a wonderful person, and I loved being with him, even though it was just for a few hours that night. I knew that there must have been at least one other person in the world who saw him in such a way, even if Naruto himself didn't realize it.**

"**I don't really have friends anymore," he admitted to me after we'd spoken for a while. "I don't like being like this."**

**I had only known one friend my entire life. I missed him, but the memories of the times we'd shared together dispelled any bad feelings I had concerning his death. I thought, then, that maybe having another friend…someone close…would be nice. That maybe…I'd stop all of the meaningless interactions.**

"**Are you lonely?" I asked him, having considered this.**

**He looked at me, his eyes soft. "Yeah," he admitted, turning away from me.**

**I nodded. "I'm not really sure, but…I think that I am, too."**

**I held back the other things I wanted to say to him. I wanted someone like him in my life. A real person, not a contact. Someone strong and emotional. Someone with integrity and warmth.**

**I walked back to my apartment when we were finished eating. As I walked, I ran his name through my head. I didn't want to forget him, ever, even if I never saw him again. I doubted that I would.**

**Uzumaki Naruto, college student. Adorable. Frustrated. Emotional. Wonderful.**

**When I came back to my apartment, the others were going at it in my living room. I locked my door and walked past them, into my bedroom, and I locked that door as well. I took a shower and went to sleep. I awoke to an empty apartment and cleaned up the other's messes before going go school that day. I smiled for the rest of the day, to the confusion of my classmates. I stopped participating in our casual fuck sessions, and they stopped coming to my apartment. I took dance lessons in my spare time, then; I needed to be well-rounded as an actor.**

**I put an ad in the local newspaper a few years later, when Danzou complained about 'being the one to handle all my business'. One of Danzou's old friends agreed to help me sort through the applicants, but I asked to look over the resumes and interviews he'd taken from all of the candidates before he made any decisions.**

**Each candidate's papers were topped with a small picture of them. I thought that I didn't care too much about looks as I flipped through the pages until I saw a photo of a blonde man with a discontent look on his face. My eyes widened as I lifted his papers out of the pile and I stared at the name on the top page.**

**UZUMAKI NARUTO**

**I didn't listen to any protests. I gave him the job, though I wasn't sure if he'd taken when we met.**

**When he came to my apartment with Danzou's friend the next day, I met him in the lobby. His blue eyes looked around the building, and they came to my face last. My heart beat so quickly in my chest that I wasn't sure if it was my own. He was one of the few things I'd found that I wanted, and he was there, right in front of me.**

**And he didn't seem to remember me at all.**

**I held out my hand. "It's nice to meet you, Naruto," I said with a smile.**

**He took my hand and shivered a little. "Same here. I'll be in your care," he said. A typical thing to say to your new employer, isn't it?**

**I looked into his eyes and he gave me an uncomfortable look before pulling his hand back. I waited for his reaction…for him to remember…but it seemed that the laser surgery Danzou had ordered me to undergo, and the subsequent loss of my glasses, had changed my appearance to the point at which he no longer recognized me.**

**I smiled at him. "You've worked as a personal assistant before?" I asked.**

**He nodded and said, "Yeah, a famous guy. I don't want to tell you his name, though…you know, it wouldn't be right. I don't want you to get into his business."**

**I held back a laugh, almost certain that he'd never worked for any such person before. I know now, of course, that he was telling the truth. "Then please come up with me, and I'll familiarize you with my current projects," I said. He gave me another look and followed me up to my apartment.**

**If he hadn't seemed so uncomfortable with me, I might have tried to seduce him that day. I doubted that he would have taken it well, but I'd wanted to see him again for so long that I didn't want to waste the opportunity. When he showed no signs of warming up to me, though, or opening himself as he had the night of our first meeting, I decided to wait. If he did not wish to pursue an informal relationship with me, then I would just be content having him by my side. His greatest selling points were his argumentative nature and his protectiveness, after all, and I could have those without sharing my bed with him.**

**My feelings for him grew over the years and now, on the day after our first sexual encounter, I feel as though I could give him anything, and I plan to give him everything, as soon as he's ready to take it. Rushing would have ruined everything else up to this point, so I know that I can wait a while.**

**I must admit that I was surprised when he was the one to show such desire. I have made many so-called 'inappropriate remarks and advances' toward him through the years, though I only meant to entertain myself through them. I hadn't realized that those times when he's close to me, when he restrains me, or puts his hand over my mouth, or argues with me, that I wasn't the only one enjoying it.**

**I loved that…look of pursuit in his eyes.**

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Shikamaru and Sai spent most of the day looking over Shikamaru's sketchbook. They took turns tearing out pages, throwing them away, and rescuing them from the garbage. Ino came in during the afternoon and tried to play mediator. Shikamaru just got more and more frustrated as the day went by. Hell, I guess it was kind of funny watching him go through the same thing I go through day in and day out. Sai certainly seemed to be having a blast, and he couldn't stop smiling as they argued.

"You're making it look _faggy_," he giggled at one point

Shikamaru gave him a weird look. "Can gay guys even say that word?"

I glanced over at them, and I watched Shikamaru fume for a minute before walking over and taking a chair next to Sai. He didn't move over and my leg brushed his. I almost pulled back, but I decided to just let my leg rest against his.

"What're you two bitching about?" I asked as I pulled the sketchbook towards me. Shikamaru frowned and tried to grab it back, but not before I saw something unsettling fall out of the back cover.

WHY WAS THERE A HALF-NAKED DRAWING OF ME?

Ino snatched the drawing back as I gaped. Shikamaru's face turned red and he scowled at me.

"What…" was all I could choke out.

Sai laughed a little and rubbed his knee against my leg under the table, away from Shikamaru's and Ino's eyes. "We're working on your clothing. Didn't you hear us talking about it?"

I frowned, shaking my head. "If I'd _known_ then I would've put a stop to it!"

Ino gave me a look. "Are you retarded or something? We need a picture of you to make sure you'll look good in what Shikamaru's designing!" She 'hmph'ed before continuing. "Sai said you wouldn't try anything on, so desperate times call for desperate measures."

I glared at her. "It's not right. And how did y'all know how I'd look without my clothes on?"

Sai looked away. That _definitely _got my attention. I stared at him, hoping that he hadn't given Shikamaru any details about my body from the night before. "Well, Ino said she saw you at a pool party once…" he said, waving his hand as he trailed off.

I nearly sighed with relief.

"I've seen you in the locker room," Shikamaru said, his face red. "Well, besides that, it was just a bunch of guessing, okay? I just really needed your face and shoulders anyway, it's not like I can draw guys…"

"Oh, just ignore Naruto," Ino said. "Come on, draw something on the bastard! I want to see what he's going to wear!"

Shikamaru grumbled and opened up his sketchbook again. I tried to settle down in my chair, and I let my leg touch Sai's again.

I almost jumped when I felt his hand on my leg, and when I made myself relax I started to lean towards him. He pulled his hand away and took Shikamaru's pencil away from him.

"No," he said as I pulled my leg back a little, "not that. You're screwing it up again."

Shikamaru glared. "The hell? Look, I don't know what to do to make him not look like a fag and you're not helping out too much here, Sai."

Sai started to draw on the paper and I leaned my chin on the table, keeping one arm on the table and dropping the other below. I touched his leg, and didn't move my arm after that so as to not arouse suspicion. I straightened up after a few minutes, brushing my hand against the inside of his leg.

We stopped playing with each other then. I didn't want to get caught feeling on my boss while he was working with people I'd gone to high school with, personally, but the danger of being caught, along with the novelty of…Sai…

Sai didn't try anything while we walked back out to the car. I got in the driver's seat, like usual, and I buckled myself in. While Sai was doing his own seatbelt I looked around the parking lot. We seemed to be alone, so I quickly grabbed his chin and crushed my lips onto his.

He let me do what I wanted; only leaning forward a little further. I pulled back earlier than I would have liked to better our chances of _not _getting caught by paparazzi, and what I saw when I opened my eyes was a very happy, breathless Sai. I couldn't help but lean in once more and kiss those swollen lips.

When I pulled back for real, I started the car. I could see Sai settling down into his own seat out of the corner of my eye, and I wondered if that had been alright with him.

"Naruto…" he whispered when I'd pulled out of the parking spot.

Without looking at him, I asked, "What is it?" I started to pull onto the street.

He didn't say anything, but I felt his hand on my knee again. Blood rushed through my veins as he rubbed my leg gently, and my pants started to tighten around the crotch. He didn't move his hand upwards, though, and the excitement got to me. I lifted his hand from my leg, and he started to pull it back but I placed that soft, teasing hand over my groin.

Sai fell still and then squeezed.

"Fuck," I whispered.

He leaned towards me, and I didn't take my eyes off the road. Shit, I'd never done that kind of thing before…Sai's spontaneity had lowered my inhibitions.

Sai whispered in my ear, "What do you want me to do?"

I thought about it, and pulled his hand off my crotch and kissed his fingers before letting his hand go. "Just wait a few minutes," I said firmly. He nodded and pulled his hand back.

When I was able to think clearly, I wondered how he was doing. I was ready for another blowjob, but it wouldn't have been right for me to assume that he'd offer it, and even if he did offer it…I still owed him!

I glanced in his direction. Sai was moving in his seat as if he couldn't get comfortable, and his eyes were fixed on the road but he didn't seem to be watching anything. He smoothed out his pant legs and laid his hands palm-down on his thighs, not ready to stay still quite yet. Each breath made his chest rise and fall with a little more depth, and his face looked a little flushed.

Fuck. He was in the same boat as me.

I looked back at the road, and despite the fact that I didn't know where this was going, I sped back to the hotel.

We got out of the car and walked through the parking garage as normally as possible. I stole glances in his direction every few seconds and I caught him looking at me almost every time. When we got into the elevator, we stood on either side, in the corners. There were a few other people in there with us, and they kept us apart. It made it easier to ignore the desire to touch him, and to feel those soft hands on my own body.

I had some trouble with the key when we went to my room. Eventually, though, I got the door open and as I was about to walk in, Sai put one hand on my arm and looked at me, not sure.

I paused. Was he having doubts? Hell, I didn't even know where we were going but I was running there at full speed.

Desperate to at least get us to someplace private, I grabbed the hand on my arm and pulled him into my hotel room. I closed the door behind us and warm arms wrapped around me from behind as Sai rested his chin on my shoulder. I covered his hands with my own and I could feel my heart pounding against our limbs as Sai's pounded against my back.

I pulled his arms off of my body and turned around. Sai took a step back, and he rested his hands on my shoulders. I raised my own shaky hands to his face and I kissed him as gently as I could with testosterone and adrenaline surging through my veins. He kissed back, leaning down those three centimeters he had over me and tangling his hands in my hair.

Sai pressed his wet tongue through my lips and I grabbed the back of his head, holding him close to me so I could do the same to him. My right hand slid down his chest and stomach to his hip. Sai wrapped his arms around my neck and shoulder, keeping the way clear for me to touch his body. I licked the inside of his mouth as his tongue fell still as he allowed me, yet again, to take control.

I pulled back, my eyes searching his. What did he want?

He smiled at me and pulled his jacket off. I realized just then that my body was burning and I took mine off, two. Sai started to pull his shirt over his head but the first few inches of stomach I saw send chills down my spine, giving me the courage to slip my arms around him, grab his shirt, and pull it off for him. He raised his arms in the air and let me do as I wished. The shirt fell to the floor as soon as I had it over his head and I laid my hands against the soft skin of his chest and back, first ghosting my hands over his shoulders and then moving them to his sides. His body had begun to shake, and he felt so…vulnerable. So unlike Sai.

Wanting to keep things moving, I pulled my mouth away from his and started to kiss his neck. He leaned his head back and his breath came out in little pants as I worked, kissing his jaw, his neck, and then his shoulder. Memories from the night before hit me, when our roles had been somewhat reversed. I smiled a little as I moved my kisses down his chest, planning a way to give to him what he'd given to me.

A cold feeling rose in my chest, though. I leaned over and sucked on one of his nipples idly (not that different from a girl I must say…he has almost no body hair) as I started to lose my nerve. I did drop to my knees, though, as I took my kisses down to his stomach. He laced his elegant fingers through my hair when I kissed his torso right above his pants zipper, and sucked in a hard breath.

My hands shook as I unzipped his pants. I fumbled with the button, and I knew that I'd slowed down as I'd gotten closer to my destination. I knew that he had seen it, too, but…hell, I was nervous, I didn't need someone else to tell me to stop or that I didn't have to do something that I wasn't ready to do!

Sai suddenly grabbed my hands and pulled me up so that I was standing in front of him again. I swallowed nervously, my hands finding his sides again. I kissed his plush, pliant lips to steady myself, to dissipate my nervousness.

"Naruto," he muttered through the kisses.

Damn it, he was going to tell me to take things slow again!

Sai pulled back and smiled weakly. "If you're not ready, then--"

Furious, I grabbed his face and crushed my lips against his. Sai's eyes shot open and then he closed them quickly. Satisfied that he'd accepted my mood, I shut my own eyes, running my hands over his naked upper body and pushing him backward until we hit the couch. Sai raised his hips so that he was half-sitting, half-standing, and in doing so he rubbed his crotch against mine.

That was the first time that I'd felt his erection, full-on. He'd had it pressed against me a little the night before, but as he repositioned himself I felt it against my stomach, too. He settled his hip down again immediately afterwards and as I continued to assault him, to prove myself to him, I opened my eyes and thought about my feelings regarding his dick.

I tried to calm myself down. I masturbated, okay, so touching him would be like touching myself, just not myself. And I'd heard that women and men actually have the same thing between their legs once before; the thing is, it just comes in different shapes.

Oddly enough, though, once the initial shock wore off and I felt his semi-clothed erection again, I realized that it didn't feel so strange. It should have, but it didn't. It was just…a part of him.

I freaked out the first time I had sex with a girl. When you're a pubescent high-school boy, you always imagine that pussies are supposed to be sexy. They're really not. Sure, the stuff up top is, but I don't think that anyone really has anything attractive between their legs. It's all weird and embarrassing, but once you get used to it, and once you get over everything you expected, it's no big deal. It's all just another part of a person's body.

And, the thing was, I'd never had sex with a guy but I went into my 'thing' with Sai with a little experience with dicks. Seeing as how I have one and all. Because of that, I didn't really freak out after the first brush against Sai's crotch.

So I closed my eyes again and let Sai's hands travel over my body when he'd steadied himself out on the back of the couch. Two warm, soft hands found their way under my shirt, and I held my own hands still as he touched my chest and stomach.

We pulled apart at the same time and I let him unbutton my shirt and pull it off. I pressed my body against his as he dropped my shirt, locking our mouths together and holding his chest flush against mine. I shook when I realized just _how_ soft his skin was. Touching his wrists or kissing his lips, and feeling his whole chest pressed against mine, peach-soft skin bared and irresistible, were very different experiences.

I grabbed his hips and pulled him down from the couch. Sai was more than happy to comply when I ground my crotch against his, the pressure I applied harder than I one we'd both felt earlier. His pretty black eyes widened, then shut, as I repeated the action. He let his head hang back and I raised one hand to the back of his head to support it and kissed the side of his neck he's laid out for me.

"Naruto," he whimpered as he pushed back against my groin. I felt him press a knee between my legs, rubbing my dick as best he could.

I fumbled with his pants and I got them down to his knees. As soon as I was finished, Sai started to work on my pants. We pulled apart to give us space to take off our shoes and pants, and when we were in our underwear I grabbed his wrist and headed for the bedroom.

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**I was astounded by the rate at which things were escalating between Naruto and myself. He took me to his bed and I laid down without any persuasion, on my back, and he looked me over.**

"**This is okay, isn't it?" he asked, sitting down beside me. "I'm not pushing you, am I?"**

**I thought about telling him the truth, telling him that I'd waited years already and that I was much, much more than ready for the dirtiest thing he could have imagined then. Instead, I sat up and kissed him on the cheek. "No, and you could push a little harder if you'd like," I whispered right into his ear.**

**He turned and kissed me, another passionate kiss of the sort I'd come to expect from him. Following my suggestion, or perhaps desperate to move forward, he pressed me down to the bed and sat between my legs, his arms on either side of my chest. I raised my arms over my head, determined to let things move at his pace. Beautiful blue eyes looked over my body once more before Naruto dipped his head down to kiss me.**

**I raised my hips just enough to brush my erection against his, and he pushed back with full force. I sucked in a breath and spread my legs further, something that didn't fail to get his attention.**

**Naruto slid down the bed and kissed my stomach again. In all honesty, I was starting to worry by then that he'd made me come before touching my cock directly. I'd been wound up over him for years and he had yet to do much else than arouse or tease me, though he had done both of those quite thoroughly so far. I thought of asking him to go further, but before my voice could betray my desperation Naruto pulled my black briefs down to my knees.**

**I stared at the ceiling. I wanted to give him room while he—ah!**

**I sucked in another breath when Naruto took my cock firmly in his hand. My eyes shot to his face and he gave me a determined smile. "You okay?" he asked.**

**I knew that doing that to me wasn't easy for him. It wasn't too easy on me that day, either, and I let my head hit the bed again as he started to play with me, my toes and fingers clenching as I tried to control myself.**

**I saw him dip his head down and Naruto began to lick the insides of my thighs tentatively. My breathing had turned shallow, and I stopped breathing altogether when his tongue brushed past my testicles. He didn't stop there, though, and licked the base of my cock.**

**I wanted to kiss him then, but I just closed my eyes tightly and waited.**

**He moved his body over my as he continued to play with my cock. He didn't know it, and I would have told him if I hadn't learned a few things about him over the years, but I honestly would have done anything he'd asked me to then. I'd lost control over my hips by then, and I'd started to buck up into his hand. Naruto tightened his grip and leaned down to kiss my neck again.**

"**Please…" I whispered.**

**He stopped altogether and looked at me with concern. "What, did I do it wrong? Am I hurting you? Did I scratch you or something?" he asked, looking over the display I'd given him.**

**I shook my head. "Just…a littler harder, okay?" I asked. "It feels…so good."**

**That answer didn't seem good enough, and Naruto frowned. "Are you sure?" he asked, keeping his hand in place. I struggled under his hand and he took that signal the wrong way, pulling his hand away from the place where I needed it the most. "Look, you know I don't know how to do this sort of thing, so just tell me if I'm doing it wrong."**

**An embarrassed expression took over his face, and he looked away.**

"**Naruto," I said, sitting up. I tried to keep my voice even as I leaned towards him, "I need you. Please…I'll do anything…"**

**My true feelings began to pour out. He turned to me and looked over my face. "You still want more? I thought I'd screwed up enough. Was it good enough, or should I change something?"**

**I got off the bed and he watched me, surprised, as I kneeled in front of him. My cock throbbed and dripped with precum, and I didn't plan on coming soon. I pulled his boxers off and took his dick into my mouth, as much as I could fit, sucking up the salty liquid that had escaped the head and licking the tip of his cock.**

"**Holy _shit_," he cursed loudly, in that gorgeous, guttural voice that got my attention so many years ago. He grabbed my hair, then moved his hands to my shoulders, as I sucked more of his wonderful cock into my mouth. I pulled my head up and started licking, whispering, "Please, please," every few seconds.**

**He caught my request after a few appeals, and pulled my face away from his lap. I let his cock slip out of my mouth, but not without one more good suck, and I spread my legs to let him get a good view of what he'd done to me when he stared at my groin.**

"**Please," I repeated once more, kissing his leg. "Naruto…"**

**With an urgent look on his face, he pulled me into a standing position and took my cock in both stand, pumping harder than he had before. I braced myself against his shoulders as my cock weeped out clear liquid in front of his face. He glanced between my cock and my face, his eyes widening as he found the things that made me react, and my orgasm caught both of us by surprise as I came onto his chest. My grip on his shoulders tightened and I choked down air as he jumped back.**

**I pulled back and kneeled in front of him as he examined the white liquid on his chest. I realized after only a few second that he was deeply disturbed, and I looked down to the floor before whispering, "Sorry, I didn't know I…"**

**He leaned back and pulled a few tissues out of a box, cleaning most of the mess up. "I'm just not used to it," he said, an obvious attempt to dispel my concern. "It's not going to go away, now is it?"**

**And then Naruto smiled at me and I was helpless in front of it.**

**He has no idea of what he does to me. That smile, that attitude, his way of handling his emotions…he doesn't guard himself or hold back. He's open. He's accepting. He cares about other people.**

**If he had been anyone else, he might have thrown me out of his room. But, I think that Naruto was ready for a person like me. There are very few things in this life that bother me, and I don't always take those around me into consideration. Sometimes I simply can't because I don't understand other people very well.**

**Naruto threw the tissues into the wastebasket and leaned down to kiss me. I circled my arms around his waist, letting his cock touch my chest. He whimpered a little into the kiss and I pulled back first. It was my turn to smile.**

**I lowered my mouth back onto his cock and sucked him as hard as I could. Naruto grabbed my shoulders and cursed softly under his breath until I'd brought him off. I swallowed that night, too. I've just never been bothered by it, and every guy I've sucked off seems to have appreciated it.**

**Naruto flopped down onto the bed when his orgasm had finished, and I lay down next to him on my side. He moved over and pulled my body closer to his, tucking my head down under his chin. We were both still hot so neither of us pulled the blankets over our naked bodies.**

**I kissed his chest until I realized that he'd fallen asleep. I thought of sleeping in my own room, but he hadn't asked me to leave and I didn't feel like going.**

**As sleep started to come, though, I thought of something. Making sure that my assistant was still asleep, I dressed quickly and left his hotel room. I took a key with me to let myself back in. I didn't want him to know that I'd gone. Before I left, though, I looked through his bags and found a baseball cap. Sunglasses would have been too conspicuous, so I didn't take the ones on his dresser. I blew a kiss to his sleeping body as well.**

**Once outside, I walked around until I found the sort of store I was looking for. I quickly found the items I needed and paid with cash. Naruto keeps my credit cards anyway.**

**I walked back to the hotel room and stashed a few of the packs of condoms and flavored lubricant in my room, and the rest in his, hoping that they'd be of use in the days to come. I removed my clothing and dropped it in the living room and in Naruto's bedroom where I'd found it before lying down on the bed with him again.**

**His skin was cold, but I didn't want to wake him so I moved a little closer and wrapped my arms around him. He turned towards me in his sleep and slung an arm over my side.**

**I smiled, falling asleep closer to Naruto than I'd ever been.**

**I hadn't known loneliness in years because of that precious man.**

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	7. Vulnerable

The Us-Them Complex, Chapter Seven

Pairings: NarutoSai

Side pairings now include KakashiIruka, ChoujiIno

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Notes:

This is a double first-person point of view story. In other words, some of it is told by Naruto, and some of it is told by Sai.

Naruto

**Sai**

All—

Thanks for your reviews! I am happy to say that Chapter 319 of NARUTO is out. I'll post the link to a site you can use for downloading the manga if y'all would like.

There's more art up, as usual. To see my drawings, please go to my profile page, and follow the link to my deviantArt page. Most of my drawings are of Naruto and/or Sai, and there are Haku drawings near the back of the gallery.

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I awoke alone in my bed to the sounds of water drops pattering against the floor of my shower. Turning over in my sleep, I squinted at my bathroom, the sight of steam and light confusing my tired mind. I felt comfortable, though, and not threatened, and the reason dawned on me.

It was Sai in my shower.

I turned onto my back and rubbed my tired eyes, memories of the night before running through my mind. I'd woken during the night to find myself alone, and I'd thought that maybe that was normal…Sai and I weren't really anything to each other, or at least I had to tell myself that, until we could establish something firmer between us. I knew that we'd both enjoyed ourselves yesterday, and that I'd managed to do a little more for him…the sounds he'd made, his pleas, the sight of Sai flustered and wanton, were proof of my effort. And I have to admit that it hadn't been so bad, but…I hadn't gone all that far with him. There were still many things that I wasn't ready for, even if I could get over a few basic biological similarities between our bodies that I wasn't used to dealing with during sex.

The shower water turned off, and I suddenly wanted to see Sai agan. My feet hit the carpet right before I heard the shower door slide open, and I paused, not wanting to barge in on him while he dried off. So I sat back down on the bed and pulled the blanket over my lap to hide my nudity.

Sai opened the shower door and I looked up to meet his eyes. He stared back at me and turned off the bathroom light before walking towards me. Something like familiarity set in and he smiled a little, tying his bathrobe shut before stopping in front of me, his legs between mine. My boss looked down at me, his black eyes soft, and his pale hands found their way to my face.

More than at any other time of his life, Sai looked happy.

He leaned down and I closed my eyes for the soft kiss he gave me. I was suddenly glad that he hadn't left during the night…though I didn't understand how I could have awaken by myself. Maybe he'd been in the bathroom?

I decided that that must have been it. Sai didn't usually try to sneak out during the night and I don't know why he would have started on that night in particular.

When he pulled away, he laughed and wiped his face with his bathrobe. "You need to shave," he said softly.

His little comment pulled me out of my revelry and I grabbed his hips jokingly, pulling them towards me with no real intention. I gave him an irritated smile and gritted out, "You're bitching at me like that because you don't grow facial hair?"

"I used too," Sai said, touching my face again, running his hands over the stubble I've never let him see before, "but I had electrolysis. Danzou said he didn't want me to become the rough-looking type."

I frowned a little at the mention of Sai's dad's name. I'd met the guy a few times before, and he always yapped at Sai about this and that like a total control freak. I know that Sai sends him money all the time, and from what I've heard the guy's a genius or something but he started to lose it a few years ago. Kind of sad in some people's eyes, but that shit happens to everyone when they get older and everyone can deal with it how they want.

Sai saw it as a non-issue, though, giving in to whatever Danzou told him to do.

He gave me another soft look before leaning down. His hands moved from my face to my hair and I closed my eyes as Sai started to massage my scalp lovingly. He dropped his face a little lower before stopping all movement and freezing.

"What?" I asked, my mouth close to his ear.

Sai stood up and gave me a weak smile. "I'm going to run to my room and get a few things while you take that shower you need so badly," he said, taking a few steps backward. I frowned at him, once again surprised by the sudden change of mood, and threw a pillow at him. He caught it and set in on a chair on his way to my door.

When his hand found the door knob, I called after him, "Don't get seen, okay?"

Sai turned back and nodded. "I know, I know," he said before opening the door and leaving. The door began to shut, and I watched it until Sai's head popped back in. I was a little taken aback when he suddenly blew me a kiss, sending little shivers down my spine before leaving.

I threw the sheet off my body and leaned forward for a moment, thinking about what was going on between us. Maybe it just didn't have a name.

When I got in the shower, I noticed that Sai had used my shampoo, as well as the entire little bottle of conditioner the hotel gave out. I didn't mind too much, since I don't use conditioner anyway, but I thought the idea of Sai using cheap hotel stuff was pretty funny.

I heard my door open and shut again, and about a minute later a dull roaring noise played over the sound of my shower. I shrugged it off at first, but then I began to smell something chemical and sweet. My curiosity got the better of me and I peeked outside the shower door to see Sai standing in front of my sink, styling his hair, a blower-dryer in one hand, a brush in the other, and an array of bottles and tubes on my sink.

I watched in a sort of perverse fascination. Some of my old girlfriends, from back in my college days, had made themselves up after we spent the night together, and seeing Sai doing the same thing made me feel nostalgic. I'd watched the first couple of girls do stuff like that too, because I'd never seen girls go from looking like normal people to looking like the kind of girls I'd want to sleep with. I was sometimes a little surprised when I saw the girl I'd slept with get out of the shower, or just out of my bed, because she'd look so different from the person whose pants I'd gotten into the night before. Sai hadn't looked so different, though…his hair had been wet, sure, but I hadn't noticed anything more than that.

It must have been because he didn't USUALLY wear makeup. I seriously wouldn't put it past Sai.

So I couldn't help but watch Sai work on his hair, pulling his white bathrobe in place. He looked nice in it, maybe because it wasn't black, maybe because it was soft, and it showed his chest in a neat triangle down the center. He went about his hair-styling mechanically, and I realized that he probably did the same thing to his hair every morning. He had the same look in his eyes as most of those girls had when they put on makeup…calculating, judging.

Maybe Sasuke spent that much time on his hair, too?

I shuddered, the thought of my old best friend primping himself in front of a mirror too horrible to take. I wanted to remember my old days with Sasuke with some amount of dignity.

Sai suddenly looked at me over his shoulder and I froze again when he smiled. The hair dryer stopped roaring for a moment and I tried to think of something smooth to say, but Sai broke the silence first.

"Pervert."

My mouth shot open to protest but Sai turned back to face the mirror. The hair dryer began roaring again and that bastard just kept right on going, the only difference from how he'd been before he'd discovered my scrutiny and how he looked afterwards was the happy little smile on his face.

I glared at him and yanked the shower door shut, causing it to slam dully against the metal plating it was meant to nestle against. I grabbed my bottle of shampoo and squirted some into my hand, determined to get on with my shower activities and to not watch my boss go through with his morning routine any longer.

At the same time, though, I found myself thinking about the way he'd looked the night before, and as I shut my eyes to keep the shampoo out I saw Sai's face again his mouth open and his cheeks flushed, and I heard him gasp and whine as I took him where he'd asked to be taken.

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I banged my head against one of the tables in the back room of Chouji's restaurant. It seemed as though a few people had seen Sai around Konoha, and a group of reporters had shown up at Chouji's restaurant. Sai dealt with them in his usual way: smiling, smiling, smiling a little more, and then looking at me helplessly. I'd given out a few fake business cards I keep in reserve for those situations before carting the dumbass off to the room where Shikamaru waited.

A few reporters were buzzing around the restaurant, or so Chouji said when he came to check up on us. Sai gave him a sad smile and apologized.

"I'm sorry for the negative attention your restaurant has acquired due to my presence," Sai said, standing to bow.

When he rose, Chouji shrugged. "It's okay," he said, laughing a little. "To be honest, some of them have brought a crowd and I'm getting a little business today…I've also had to call in a few more waitresses! Ino even put on a uniform and started handing out drinks…" he laughed again uneasily.

I snickered. Ino as a waitress? Maybe her time with Sai had rubbed off…or maybe she had a costume fetish. Yeah, models like wearing weird clothing, right?

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Shitheads. Don't they have anything better to do?"

Chouji glanced back into the other room. A small look of panic overtook his chubby face and he came inside, shutting the door and locking it. Fists started to beat on the door and I heard a few people calling inside, "Is Sai there?" and "Is he having a secret love affair?"

I almost choked on my beer. Yes and yes.

Sai bowed again. "I'll repay your for any repairs done to the restaurant," he added, bowing a little more deeply.

Chouji waved his hands in the air. "No, no, the reporters are mostly a well-behaved bunch…" he chuckled, and then turned serious. "Now that I think about it, though, I saw a few pictures of you in the tabloids this morning…" The reporters continued to beat on the door as Chouji thought. "…I think I saw one of you and some guy in a car. I couldn't see his face but I BET it was just Naruto…" he said, trying to put into fact that if I had been with Sai, then he hadn't been up to anything newsworthy.

Sai glanced back at me and I shook my head on impulse. He smiled softly and turned back to Chouji as guilt overtook me.

"The press likes to blow up every little thing I do," he told Chouji. "But they'll forget about it soon enough. I do hope that your restaurant gets a little more attention as a result of my visits, though, Mr. Akimichi."

A lump formed in my throat and I set my head back down onto the table. I heard Chouji wrestle his way out the door and lock it behind him, and Sai began to chat up Shikamaru again when the three of us were alone. I closed my eyes and listened to Sai talk about fit and form and I wondered if I should have spoken up.

It would be just the four of us that would have known, anyway. No big deal…right?

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Sai and I managed to leave later that evening. A few reporters followed us quietly back to the rental, and I noticed two of them standing outside our damn car! I thought that they'd crossed the line so I stomped over to them, walking ahead of Sai, and one of the reporters started to look more like someone I knew and I realized he wasn't a reporter at all.

I stopped in my tracks when I recognized his spiky dark hair and his smirk. "Sasuke?" I asked, looking between him and the Caucasian woman standing next to him.

Sasuke nodded and me, ignoring Sai as he strode over. There was a piece of paper in his hand and I realized that it was a page from a popular tabloid when he shoved it in my face, his smirk turning into a frown. The headline read, "SAI Visits His SECRET LOVER in Konoha Again—Who Is This MYSTERY MAN?" Beneath the title was a long column and a photograph of Sai (and myself, though I was covered by text in the picture) walking out of the hotel we were staying in.

I snatched it away and balled it up. When I'd let the paper hit the cement, I looked back into Sasuke's dark eyes.

"When were you going to tell me you were back in Konoha?" he asked me.

I sighed. That was exactly what I'd wanted to avoid! "I came here on business," I answered. I knew that that answer wasn't enough for Sasuke but it was the truth…I didn't want to stir anything up. My own little boxed-in life was too much of a mess to throw everyone else into the mix.

Sai caught up and smiled at Sasuke. "So, you've found us, huh? That makes us it. Now you can go hide and we'll find you," he joked.

Sasuke gave him a look and motioned to the woman beside him, ignoring Sai's comment. "This is Heran," he said to me and me only. The Caucasian woman came forward and bowed to me formally before saying, "It's nice to meet you." in a nice, clean voice, speaking in the way that foreigners pronounce Japanese.

Sasuke motioned to me. "This is Uzumaki Naruto," he said, turning to Heran. I bowed and said, "It's nice to meet you," without thinking. I stayed bent over for a moment before standing up straight and turning to Sasuke. "Hey, wait!" I said, confusion taking over. "Who is this…?"

Heran took another step forward, giving Sai a nod of her head as if to say, 'One of us may be ignoring you but I still know you're here.' and then turned to me. "I'm Sasuke's personal assistant. I came from New York three years ago and I am still a little new to Japan. I've heard that you're Sasuke's best friend and as I am honored to work for him, I'd be honored to be in your favor."

I stiffened a little. I'd never heard anyone speak Japanese with that level of strictness.

Sasuke glanced at the reporters over Sai's and my shoulders before nodding at me. "I'd like it if you and Heran could get along," he said, once again not saying shit about Sai (who was looking at Heran with interest) adding, "since I'm planning on staying in Konoha until the Deathnote audition."

I took a step back. "What? What the hell for?" Had I lost it? Didn't famous people have anything better to do?

Sasuke gave Sai a look before leaning towards me and whispering, "Well, I've wanted to talk to you for a while and I haven't had much time, even with the reunion. What's wrong with seeing old friends anyway, Naruto?" When he pulled back he smiled at me warmly.

"…nothing," I said quietly.

Sai finally opened his mouth as if to say something to Heran, but she side-stepped him and walked past our little group. I turned around and watched her talk to the reporters that had tailed me and Sai earlier. Some of them had their cameras out and were taking pictures of the four of us. Heran didn't seem to like that, though, so she took their cameras, pulled out the film, and smashed their lenses against the cement.

Sasuke nodded coolly and I shuddered. I'd never seen such efficiency before.

When I turned back to Sasuke, he leaned back as if to nullify the intensity he'd shown me in the last few minutes. "Say, Naruto," he said conversationally. I heard his personal assistant shooing the reporters away.

"…yeah?" I asked, a little taken aback by the entire scene.

He smiled again and crossed his arms. After giving Sai a glance he turned back to me and asked, "You haven't forgotten about that date you promised Hinata, have you?"

My eyes widened and I found myself glancing at Sai, wanting to see his reaction. He looked back at me coolly, but I could see Sasuke gritting his teeth out of the corner of my eye, almost as if Sai had barged in to ask what I was doing screwing around with other people.

I tried to work my mouth to answer but I had no reply. Heran's flat shoes padded softly on the cement as she returned to Sasuke's side, unruffled and ten times more stable than I felt right then.

"I…"

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**Naruto gripped the steering wheel a little too hard on the drive to Sasuke's hotel. I'd let Sasuke take the front seat so that they could talk to each other freely…and moreover, I didn't want to miss the show.**

**I looked at Heran out of the corner of my eye and I couldn't quite place what was amiss with her. Something was wrong, though I didn't know what it was. Her Japanese was fine, and she wasn't ugly…she was actually rather pretty, by Western standards, with large brown eyes and well-kept brown hair. My first impression was that she was smooth, but something…was wrong.**

"**You know how much she liked you in high school, right?" Sasuke asked my assistant. I glanced at Heran again…what was it?**

**Naruto's knuckles turned white, and the next bend he turned around felt far too sharp. Heran clutched her door handle and swallowed but kept silent. Heran? Heran? Why didn't that sound right?**

"**No, I don't," Naruto admitted. "She never said anything, so…"**

"**She's a stunt director now," Sasuke interrupted over the music playing on the radio. It was hip-hop…m-flo, I think was the artist's name. I might have had that wrong. I couldn't make it out over the sounds of their conversation, though, as Sasuke assaulted Naruto with various bits and pieces of some woman's…Hinata's…biography and Naruto responded in varying states of discomfort. "Hinata was one of the best fighters in our class, remember?" Sasuke added.**

**Naruto frowned and struggled with a reply. It was then that I realized what was wrong with Heran.**

**I turned to her and said, "Your name is Helen, isn't it?"**

**Her eyes widened and she glanced at Sasuke nervously. "Y-yes, it is…" she replied.**

**The previous conversation ended as Sasuke turned around in his passenger seat. Naruto sighed and his shoulders slumped when the focus fell from him to the other closest personal assistant. A frown taking over his face, Sasuke asked, "Your name is Helen? Why did you tell me it was Heran?"**

**She looked around nervously. "I…I…"**

**I leaned across Helen to cut the poor woman off from Sasuke's interrogation. "She probably didn't think you could pronounce the letter 'L'," I told him with a smile.**

**He stared at me, and then pushed me away to look at his assistant. She backed away into her car seat, trying to avoid him as he asked, "You didn't think I could pronounce the letter 'L'?" with incredulity. I bit back a laugh as he continued. "I'm auditioning for the part of a character named 'L'. Did you think I couldn't speak English correctly?"**

**Helen bowed in apology. "I'm sorry, I'm just used to speaking Japanese…and most people from Japan can't pronounce my name correctly, so…"**

**Sasuke opened his mouth to speak again but Naruto glanced towards the backseat suddenly and growled, "Okay, then, so you two can pronounce her name. There's nothing wrong, and…I think we learned something today."**

**His sudden curtness caught me off guard and I watched the back of his shoulders and head as he drove. That other side of him, the side that comes out when he needs it, shone through and Sasuke stared at him with as much surprise as the rest of us felt before turning around to face the front and crossing his arms like an angry child. Helen folded her arms, too, though it seemed as though she did so to protect herself more than to project frustration. I brought my gaze back to Naruto and smiled a little. He could be so entertaining.**

**A thought came across my mind and I leaned forward in my seat. When my mouth was close enough to Naruto's ear for me to whisper, I asked him as softly as I could, "Naruto, you can't pronounce the letter 'L', can you?"**

**He frowned without looking at me, and I saw Sasuke turn towards us out of the corner of my eye. I ignored him and waited as Naruto opened his mouth.**

"**Aru."**

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Even though it pissed me off, I couldn't stop my foot from tapping when I sat down with Sasuke in the main room of his hotel room. I still didn't feel comfortable being there, or even just seeing him right then, and it certainly didn't help that he kept yammering on and on about Hinata.

I'd forgotten about her for almost two days…forgotten as in, I had no plans to go out with her, or at least I wasn't excited about it enough to think 'Oh, I gotta make a good impression!' or anything to that effect. My thoughts had been filled with someone else.

When Heran walked into the room, Sasuke turned from me for a moment to tell her to call someone about something important, and while he was issuing orders in a humorless voice I felt Sai's hand on my knee. I almost spazzed out but when I looked at him, he just smiled and pulled his hand back before anyone else could see it. I took a breath and as soon as I'd released it, my foot decided that maybe, just maybe, it was okay to settle on the floor for a few minutes. Sai looked away then, resting his chin on one hand and gazing at nothing in particular.

Sasuke faced me again and smiled. He looked totally relaxed, but I felt uneasy listening him try to push the Hinata Date Plan on me over and over.

"Neji's one of the highest-ranked fighters in the country," he said, as if he was starting a new conversation. I nodded and took another breath when Sasuke waited for me to reply.

"I've heard that," was all I could manage before the awkward silence was drawn out too long. "He was pretty scary back in high school too."

I started to tap my fingers against my leg and the thought of Sai putting his hand over mine in front of Sasuke, and Sasuke's most likely reaction, stilled my nervous hands for a few minutes.

Sasuke nodded and leaned back against his sofa, putting one arm behind the back of the sofa. "And Hinata was pretty strong back then too. She must still be pretty strong, if you think about it. She's really pretty too, isn't she?"

I shrugged and I couldn't bite back a lame attempt at a joke. "Well, when a guy looks like me then every girl around him looks good enough to be out of my league, you know?" I asked, cracking a big smile.

I was more than remotely disturbed when Sai and Sasuke both sat forward and argued, at the same time and in damn near the same voice, "But you're not ugly Naruto!"

I looked from Sasuke to Sai (who was smiling) and back, trying to keep my focus on Sasuke. "Well…" I said uneasily. Sasuke seemed to feel just as uncomfortable as I did right then because he cleared his throat and settled back against his sofa in his 'King of This Room' pose, looking anyway but at me and Sai.

Next to me, Sai turned away again and stared at nothing. I was pretty sure that he hadn't been weirded out by that little moment at all…maybe he'd done it on purpose?

"It's getting late," Sasuke said suddenly. I glanced at my watch…almost midnight. Not too late, or maybe I was just too used to Sai's 'late nights' ending when the sun came up.

I saw Sasuke send Sai a little glare and I almost rolled my eyes. The glare lasted for a few seconds, and when it was over Sasuke turned his dark eyes my way and fixed me with a different look.

What was that?

Sai stretched next to me on the couch, and without any warning he pulled his feet off the floor and stretched out on our couch into a laying position. To avoid his feet and legs, I hopped off the couch and stared at him. He shot me a little smile before turning around so that Sasuke and I could only see his back and calling, "Good night," over his shoulder.

I stared at him, lost for words. Why had he…

My shoulder slumped forward and I smacked myself on the forehead. I had the feeling that someone was playing with my life. It was a feeling I'd known many times before, though I hadn't felt it so often in the past few days, but I guess that Sai was still Sai.

Maybe nothing had changed, for anyone.

I heard Sasuke move on the other couch, and when I turned around I saw that he'd shifted to the other side and was patting the place where he'd sat. "Sit down," he said seriously.

I almost sat…I mean, why not? I felt like sitting, and as soon as my seat was taken another was provided. But something in the look on Sasuke's face, and the way he'd acted that night…the glares he'd given Sasuke, and the looks he'd given me, like…like something I'd thought before…

_Please, Sasuke, Sakura, call me tonight. I'm so lonely…I need to talk to you…no one likes me and I need you! I need you!_

…before I folded, I thought about where those times had taken me. My hard feelings, projected onto other people but really for myself, had taken me to a desperate place, to a newspaper ad, to something new.

I rubbed the back of my head and laughed, trying to brush off the fact that the man I proudly called my ex-best friend because I was SURE that he had other friends then, new friends, people he was close to, people he cared about, even if the only person in his desperate eyes right then was me, had given me a command like a dog. "Yeah, you were right," I said, glancing at Sai. "It's time for him and me to get going. I'll call a taxi or something; don't worry about us."

Sasuke suddenly frowned and pointed at Sai. "He's asleep. You're going to wake him up to take him home?" he asked, as if he knew the answer and no other answer was correct.

I just smiled back and walked back to the couch I'd been sitting on, and I did one of the few things that I knew would make Sai 'wake up'; I ruffled his hair in as grand and masculine a fashion as I could. Sai immediately batted my hands away and sat up to fix his hair, his rouse in ashes. I turned back to Sasuke and jerked my thumb back at Sai, explaining, "This bastard sleeps about two hours a night. There's no way he'd fall asleep right now."

I resisted the urge to look at Sai. I didn't want to answer any questions he had; I knew that I probably wasn't making much sense to anyone, but that's what happens when you're trying to get what you want without telling anyone why you want it.

I couldn't stand to tell Sasuke that I needed to be far, far away from him right then.

"You're tired, right?" Sasuke argued.

I shrugged. "Not really. I usually stay up later than this."

Sasuke frowned, and once he'd had time to search for something else to say he blurted out, "You can sleep on my couch."

I took a step towards him, my control beginning to flee. "I have my own bed somewhere else," I said.

Although I'd meant to hold back, all of my feelings went into that statement. I had my own bed, my own apartment, even if I never used it, my own life, my own feelings, and my own life. I didn't have to borrow from Sasuke and Sakura anymore. I didn't have to worry about pleasing Sasuke to keep him on my good side.

I admitted it to myself right then: sometimes, Sasuke really acted like a child.

He stared up at me, his mouth open and ready to argue as the feelings I'd tried to conceal hit him full-force. His expression suddenly turned from frustrated to angry, and he looked away, his eyes dark and completely finished with filling themselves with images of me, Naruto, former best friend and lap dog.

I'd always seen it a little like that, I guess. I hadn't thought I could be anything else.

_Naruto, try this on. Shut up, dumbass; the color looks good on you._

_Hey, Dead-Last, go get me a soda._

_Naruto, I need you to call Gaara for me. Yeah, he's irritable, who isn't in the morning. And be ready to go to the studio in an hour so I can get makeup done._

"Do what you want," Sasuke muttered.

I stood like that for a moment, the shock of what just happened coming over me. Maybe I'd done something that I'd wanted to for a long time. Maybe I'd fucked up and cut all the things between myself and Sasuke.

When Sasuke turned away from me a little further that night, though, I knew that I wasn't about to get any answers. I waved Sai in my direction and he followed me out the door in silence. I didn't glance back at any of it; Sasuke, Helen, Sai.

And when I waited outside with Sai, who had kept his distance to give me some thinking room, I guess, I sighed. My heart began to slow and I knew that the thing that changed was probably nothing at all.

"Naruto?"

I turned around, a little surprised that Sai had chosen to speak. I stopped trying to hail a cab and waited for him to say something, anything. Even though I knew that I'd probably let a little something of my true, ugly feelings get through to Sasuke, I hoped that Sai hadn't seen it. I couldn't leave him because I wasn't comfortable with him, and I didn't want to, either. If Sai had seen it then I wanted to talk to him about it, because, even if we weren't anything to each other, or if we didn't call each other anything, I still felt closer to him. The proximity was honest, unlike my old friendships with Sasuke and Sakura.

Sai looked paler than usual against the night sky. It was a little cold that night, so he'd drawn his collar up around his neck and I thought that he might have liked it if I'd come closer to him to warm him up. I could have, but something bit into my conscience and the thought left my mind.

Hinata.

I realized that he was waiting for a response, so I asked him, "What?" My voice was still a little rough from my argument with Sasuke, and I knew that he heard it.

Sai frowned. "Is something wrong?" he asked me. He sounded concerned, though his voice was still light like usual, as though he wanted to say to me, 'I'll understand if you don't tell me.'

I took a step towards him to keep our conversation private. I didn't know how to talk to him about Hinata. I'd barely started a quasi-relationship with Sai and now I needed to…stop it.

It would have been wrong for me to go on a date with Hinata if I was still fooling around with Sai. And I'd promised, and I keep my promises, even if it's hard sometimes.

I chewed on the inside of my lip as I watched Sai's face. He was still like a doll, as though the time it took for me to answer didn't matter; he could wait forever, but he wanted to hear me all the same. I took a breath and sighed, trying to clear my lungs of the tension that had seeped into my body.

And I realized that it was Sai, and, for some reason, I didn't need to worry about him. Well, I did need to worry, but I felt like I could tell him what was bothering me. I've always felt so raw around him, like I was unable to put up a front. Hell, I didn't want to most of the time, because he always tore it down with his teasing and joking and I responded however I really, really wanted to, even if I pushed him or got angry with him, even if I didn't act the way I wanted other people to see me.

I'd shown him a side of myself that wasn't likeable at all, and I'd shown it to him for years and he still liked it. I had no reason to hide.

"_Trust me, Naruto, I'm up for whatever you want. I'll wait…for whatever you have to give me, and I'll give you any I can with my body."_

So I realized that Sai was still waiting, and I decided to trust him with myself.

"Sai," I started. We were on an empty street late at night, and I knew that no one could hear us. It was just the two of us; I could talk to him. I leaned a little closer and he leaned in too, watching, waiting.

I licked my lips and whispered, "I need to talk to you about something."

Sai nodded calmly. "What is it, Naruto?"

Before I said anything, I leaned in and took a kiss from his soft lips. We were in public but I wasn't scared. It was probably still the 'Sasuke adrenaline' in my blood that gave me that temporary Devil-May-Care attitude but I didn't mind applying it to Sai too much right then. When I pulled back, he looked a little surprised, his black eyes widening and his lips opening ever so slightly.

I stood a step back and raised a hand to touch the side of his face, trying to hold onto something for a little while longer, to enjoy the company of a person I'd really come to care about, even if I wouldn't be able to touch him for much longer. Silence lingered for another moment and I pulled my hand away before telling him what I needed to tell him, no matter what.

"I need to stop…" I searched for the right word, but I couldn't find it so I blurted out, "screwing around with you."

Sai blinked back at me, and I wasn't sure if he was confused or not. "Why?" he asked, his voice clear of emotion. I'd been afraid that he would react with some amount of sadness but when his reaction was colorless I decided to continue.

I held up my hands to try to show him that I needed to talk without interruption. "I promised this girl…er…woman…from my old high school that I'd go out with her in a few weeks," I said.

"That 'Hinata' that Sasuke 'mentioned'?" Sai asked, smiling a little at his own word choice.

I nodded. "And, when I'm going out with her, I can't be with you." I swallowed and added, "I can't do anything else with you until then either. It wouldn't be fair to her…I want to go out with her on a serious date, her and me, like I promised."

I let that hang in the air, waiting for Sai to react in some way. He stared back at me, blinking every few seconds, and a taxi actually passed us while we stared at each other but the moment was too heavy to be interrupted by something as insignificant as the act of catching a ride home.

"…is that all?" he asked as if he'd expected something more.

I nodded. It seemed like he'd taken it well, but I thought that he'd at least be a little concerned. To check, I asked him, "Is that alright with you? I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I still need to…do this."

Sai smiled at me then, and I felt like I'd been rather foolish to think that he'd get pissy over anything. Something about him was unmovable, though I didn't know what it was.

"Of course it's alright," he said softly. "You're an adult, aren't you? I can't tell you what to do."

I blushed and rubbed the back of my head, a scowl spreading my lips thin. "Well, yeah," I said gruffly, a little offended by the fact that he'd implied that I couldn't make my own decisions.

I turned away, a little ashamed, and I tried to hail a taxi again. I half-expected him to completely ignore what we'd just talked about, wrap his arms around me, and whisper something cute and annoying in my ear, but when I looked back over my should I saw him standing where he'd been standing before, watching the road for cabs.

I wished right then that I understood Sai a little better. I'd always brushed his behavior off as 'crazy' or 'annoying' or 'he loves to be a pain in the ass' because he was so hard to see through. A million possibilities lay behind his black eyes.

But that's the difference between people. I think that it's impossible to ever completely understand other people, no matter how badly you care about them.

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When Sai and I got back to the hotel that night, I walked right over to my own door. I pulled out my key but I couldn't run it through the scanner right then. I swallowed as I turned to watch Sai stop at his own door, pull out his key, and unlock his hotel room.

"Good night," I choked out.

He turned to me and smiled. Once he'd opened his door, I unlocked mine and entered before closing and dead-bolting the door behind me.

I fell down on a couch and let my head fall into my hands as I sat in the dark. My heart pounded and a part of me wanted to call the whole thing off, to tell Hinata that I was with someone, though I hadn't expected to be, and that I couldn't go out with her. It wasn't like she was some demon queen or a total bitch or anything…from what I remember of Hinata, and it's not much, she was very sweet and very, very tame when it came to personality. The only time I ever saw Hinata show the world who Number One was, was during the Karate Club fights. Even then, she'd apologize to any opponent who took their defeat badly, or she'd say things like, 'That kick almost got me!' or 'Good job, let's fight again!'.

So she probably wouldn't have minded if I'd called her and cancelled it.

I brewed over it for a little while, telling myself that I could tell Hinata I was with someone, that I could call it off, that it wouldn't be a big deal. No one would get hurt. I could go back to doing whatever it was I'd been doing with Sai, and we'd both be happy. We'd all be happy.

But she'd hugged me. She'd said she was happy to see me.

My frustration started to grow around three that morning. Out of desperation more than anything, I rescued Hinata's business card from my wallet, flipped open my phone, and did a trial run: I ran my fingers over the numbers and pretended that I'd called her office. Once I'd waited long enough for a normal phone to ring, I said, "Hey, Hinata, it's Naruto."

I felt so completely retarded talking to myself in the dark right then. Sai germs, can't get away from them.

I frowned and plowed on. "I wanted to talk to you about that date we were going to go on."

Not-actually-there Hinata nodded and listened silently.

"Um…you see, when I said I'd go on a date with you I wasn't seeing anybody, but I'm seeing someone now, so I wanted to see if I could cancel. Because, you know, I don't want to cheat on him." My frown deepened and I decided to just keeping digging the ugly little hole I'd made until it got bigger and bigger. "Oh, yeah, it's a guy. Maybe I'm gay now? Well, probably not. I don't know, really, but yeah, I'm basically screwing around with a guy right now. Oh, no, we're not really dating, or I don't think we are, but them's the breaks."

I glanced at my reflection in the TV. Yep, I'm crazy.

"So, I can't go out with you. I still like you as a person, and I think you're great and all, but I…"

And then, I had nothing to say. What was keeping me from going out with Hinata? Was it Sai? He'd said he didn't have a problem with it…that I was old enough to be the one to decide these things…did he really not mind? Was that just who Sai was?

What else was keeping me from seeing Hinata? It wasn't Sasuke, that was for sure. He'd never pushed a girl onto me like that before, and the way he'd acted that night had gotten to me.

Sakura? Well, seeing as she had nothing to do with any of this and my boyhood crush on her had changed into something radically different, I doubted that was it.

So I realized what it was that was keeping me from wanting to see Hinata.

"Hey, Hinata, are you still there?" I asked. Of course she wasn't. "Hey, um, I'm basically just being a shit head right now. I'd love to go see Neji fight with you. You two were always important to each other, right? And…I just couldn't miss one of his fights over some stupid thing. And I'm glad that you want to go out with me. I didn't think that anyone would, seeing as, like I said, I'm a shit head and all. Oh, and that guy, don't worry about him. I probably shouldn't worry too much either."

I sighed and Not-Actually-There Hinata nodded on the other end of the line.

"Well, glad that we got that cleared up," I said, leaning back into the couch. "Okay, it's a date."

I shut my phone and set it next to the business card on the living room table before going off to my own bed. I'd call her in the morning to finalize it.

I thought that I'd stopped being afraid of those little things, but I guess that I still needed a little kick in the pants to get things going.

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I took the day of the fight off. Sai told me that he had plans for the day, too, though I didn't know what they were. I almost asked him about his plans, too, but then I realized that maybe Sai wanted more space. Maybe, when he'd said that I was an adult, he'd meant that about himself too.

Hinata and I arrived at the arena about two hours before the fight. She'd told me it was black-tie, which had amazed me (we were going to watch a fight, right?) but I rented a suit anyway since I'd left all of mine back in Tokyo. She'd worn a black dress and a white trench coat, and I had to admit that she looked pretty good, and if Sai hadn't been in the back of my mind I probably would have had some mind-blowing realization that Hinata was the kind of woman for me or something. I almost wish that I could have focused on her that much at the beginning of our date.

We walked through one of the halls that led to the inner parts of the building…you know, where the fighters prepare and whatnot. Hinata got us to Neji's dressing room with a pass handed out to family members, and when she giggled at me as we walked past the guy guarding the entrance I started to get the feel of our little date and I put my arm through hers. She pulled it closer and we were off.

"You haven't see Neji in ten years, have you?" she asked softly as we walked arm-in-arm.

I shook my head. "Nah, not since high school when he came to your graduation. But he's been training all of this time, right?"

Hinata nodded. "He's really strong now, and when he has time off he trains at home with me. What we do these days is really different, but sometimes it's nice training like we did in the old days, going back to my fights with Neji."

She smiled and looked away then, and I realized that maybe all of us felt nostalgic. I put my arm around her, which I thought she'd like, but as soon as I opened my mouth to say something Hinata blushed bright pink and a deep voice down the hall boomed out, "Uzumaki! What are you doing to my cousin!"

I looked up in time to see a taller, better built, and very pissed-off Hyuuga Neji walking toward me at a comfortably brisk pace. He was wearing one of those robes that martial artists wear before fights, but even that did little to soften the frightening image that became larger and larger with every second that I didn't run the hell away.

"Neji!" Hinata cried out when he was a few feet away from us. He stopped in his tracks and listened patiently. He still glared at me, though.

"What is it, Hinata?" Neji asked in a much softer voice.

She laughed a little when I took a step backward. "I'm on a date with Naruto! Isn't it good to see him?"

"…hi," was all I managed to say.

Neji looked from me to Hinata and back, giving me one last scowl before sighing. The aggression I'd felt coming from him suddenly subsided and he rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"So that's what it is…" Neji muttered.

I laughed nervously. "Good to see you too," I said.

Neji and I really, really didn't get along back in school. He was a genius, both in academics and in a range of martial arts, and I was an idiot kid one year behind him who depended on his friends to keep from failing and got by in karate because he was the stubborn type who 'didn't know how to give up'.

That's not something I made up; Neji TOLD me that once. It was during my first month in the Karate Club, and Neji had been assigned as my senior trainer. Basically, he had to watch out for me, make sure I was doing what I was supposed to be doing, and to train me however he saw fit.

He didn't like me right off the bat.

"Uzumaki Naruto?" he'd asked. I nodded, rubbing the back of my head and looking around the training room for Sakura.

When I'd looked back, Neji frowned at me. "What kind of training do you have?" he'd asked.

I shrugged. "There's this guy who comes to my house and trains me…he's pretty good…that's about it…" I looked for Sakura again.

Neji didn't say anything for a minute, so when I looked back at him I was surprised to see his eye twitching. "So, you don't have any formal training?" he'd asked.

"Nope," I'd said.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I met Hyuuga Neji. I guess that I would have made a better impression on him but I had Sakura on the brain back then so that was the best I could do.

"Do you have to prepare for the fight?" Hinata asked him, bringing me back to the present.

Neji nodded. "I don't have any time to chat right now but I'll see you after the match." he said, eyeing me again. I smiled back.

"Do your best," Hinata said. Neji bowed and walked away, and though he didn't say anything or give me another look I think that he wanted me to be on my best behavior.

There were a few people sitting for the match by then, but I didn't want to sit around for two hours and I don't think that Hinata did either, because after we'd talked to Neji Hinata and I walked around the 'behind the scenes' parts of the building to pass the time.

"So," I said after a few moments of silence. Hinata had told me about one of the movies she was working on right now, something really stylized with Yakuza and a hero, something old school.

I looked at Hinata and I realized that I didn't know much about her. She'd always been the quiet type, and if Sasuke hadn't tried to drill it into my head over and over the day before I wouldn't have thought that she liked me. Hinata is beautiful and talented, just like another girl I used to like a long time ago. I thought that she was totally out of my league in high school; I didn't know her at all back then, except that she was Neji's cousin, she was pretty, and she was the first seat for our year in the Karate Club Girl's Team.

"So," I repeated, "you liked me back in high school, huh?"

I'd meant to kid around with her. I mean, I liked Sakura back in high school and I wasn't into her anymore. I'd thought that I little playing around would loosen things up, you know?

Well, instead of laughing or joking around, Hinata let go of my arm, stared at me, and walked over to the nearest staircase. She sat down on one of the steps and, just when I thought I'd triggered a nervous breakdown, she waved me over.

I walked towards her slowly, not sure of what my little comment had just done. She smiled at me, though, and patted the step next to her.

"Sit down if you want me to answer you," she said when I just stood there like an idiot.

So I sat down. Hinata sighed, and I waited in silence for her to answer.

"I…I liked you since elementary school," Hinata told me quietly as she looked me right in the face. I stared at her as her words hit me…elementary school? Jesus Christ! That was as long as I'd liked Sakura for!

She continued. "You were always…so bright and strong. You didn't care if teachers yelled at you, and when other kids bullied you you'd fight back. I couldn't do those things…when I failed, I'd failed. When other kids were mean to me…when Neji was cold to me…I just thought I'd deserved it. But seeing you…believe in yourself…"

"You think I believed in myself?" I interrupted her.

Hinata looked up. "Well, didn't you?" she asked me, her voice a little choked up. "I always thought you did…you stood up for yourself, and I…wanted to be like that…"

I held up my hands. "No, you did not want to be like me. Hinata, I just fought everyone because nothing turned out right for me."

I searched my memory for my younger years, back when I had no real friends. I remember feeling pain in my chest every day, but for someone to see it differently…

"It didn't turn out right for me either," Hinata said. She'd started to cry, and I thought it was because I was arguing with her but she took a breath and said, "But I didn't do anything about it. When I was little, I just…hated myself. I wished that I hadn't been born because my father didn't approve of me. I was a late bloomer when it came to martial arts…my little sister was stronger than I was. She still is, and she runs the dojo back home too, but…the thing is, Naruto…I didn't do anything about the things that happened to me, when I was little."

"So what did I do?" I asked her. I wanted to know what she'd seen. Maybe, I wasn't what I thought I was. What good had she seen in a little boy who never listened to anyone?

Hinata laughed. "Everything! Anything! You struggled when you were supposed to! You never listened to other people when they told you who you were! And when you looked like you should have been lonely, or when I thought you should have been lonely, because I would have been if I had thrown away all the people who'd said bad things to me, you smiled. And when I looked at you, you smiled, and there were a few times when I sat next to you, and I just…felt alright."

"Do you feel alright now?" I asked. She smiled softly and nodded.

"And…when we got older, I thought that you were really…good-looking." Hinata looked away then, her face red.

I didn't feel guilty, for some reason, sitting next to Hinata then on the staircase. I didn't see what could be wrong with what we were doing.

"Thanks," I said quietly.

"You still are," Hinata whispered. "And you're still such a good person. I'm…glad that you came out with me."

I just smiled at her. "No problem," I said.

She smiled back. "Naruto…do you remember the time that you confessed to Sakura?"

My heart nearly stopped and I said, "Of course! I mean, I was there, and I…"

"And you knew that she'd probably turn you down?"

I nodded.

Hinata smiled at me and turned away, looking down the stairs. "I wanted to be the next to confess." She laughed a little, and she started to cry again but she kept talking. "I didn't see why not, but I was still the same person I'd been up until that point. I was too scared to tell you that I liked you, although I really wanted to…and I just never worked up the nerve."

I suddenly understood. I'd practically run up to Sakura the day that I'd confessed, because I knew it was my turn. And it had been Hinata's turn next, because Sasuke had been brave enough to come out of the closet, and Sakura and I had been brave enough to confess when we knew that we'd probably get turned down, and it had been up to Hinata to step out of her comfort zone to tell me…to talk to me…

I grabbed Hinata and hugged her, and she settled against my chest and cried a little more. We stayed like that for a few minutes and the same pain she felt then, I'd felt once before. I'd run from Sakura after my confession, because she'd denied me, and I didn't want Hinata to do the same because she'd revealed her feelings for me.

"I like you," she whispered.

I nodded and whispered back, "I'm sorry."

Hinata sat up and smiled. "Well, that only took eighteen years, didn't it?" she asked.

I laughed and I almost wished that I hadn't, but Hinata laughed with me and hugged me back. No one else could ever see us like that on the staircase, and no one ever would. We talked about Neji's fight for a few minutes to give us time to close ourselves up again inside, and when Hinata's tears had dried we walked back out to the arena, and I couldn't stop smiling.

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"**Where are we going?" I asked.**

**Sasuke shrugged as he sat in the passenger seat of his rental car. "Who knows," he said. I glanced at Helen who was driving; she said nothing, as was expected of Sasuke's personal assistant.**

**I looked out the window and thought about my situation. Naruto had broken off our relationship a week and a half before the day of my trip in Sasuke's car, and we'd spent that time working as professionally as possible. As a consequence, I'd spent most of my time working with Nara or in my bedroom, sketching clothing designs. My Deathnote audition script had also received a little attention, because the date of the audition was approaching. I wanted to ask Naruto to take the part of Raito while I practiced but I wasn't sure of what kinds of interactions were appropriate for Naruto and myself at that time, so I'd decided to practice alone.**

**My boredom had led me to accept an invitation for a day outing from Sasuke, thus explaining my presence in the car. Something that had piqued my curiosity, though, or perhaps my caution, was the fact that I did not know where we were going, though we'd been going there for about forty-five minutes before I asked.**

"**Oh," I said softly. I caught Sasuke's smirk in the rearview mirror and because I didn't like that smile, I turned to look out the passenger side window. I kept my face still and calm, but I was beginning to wonder what Sasuke's intentions could have been.**

"**I should thank you so much for taking me out," I said after a few minutes of silence, smiling a little because I expected Sasuke to glance back at me. "I've been quite bored in Konoha lately. Shikamaru seems to have caught on to what we were talking about before, and I haven't been to a party in ages."**

**It was the truth, actually. A part of me had been bored in my last few weeks of 'vacation', and I appreciated that my employee's former classmate and best friend had decided to show me kindness by taking me back out into the world.**

"**A party?" Helen asked from the driver's seat. She glanced at Sasuke, and he smirked again.**

**I was taught to control my facial expressions in acting school. I'd learned to do so even before those days, when I'd trained with Danzou in the theatre company and at home. I sometimes let go of that control, mostly at times when I was able to enjoy myself. Naruto had always been an outlet for that; I've shown him things that I've never shown to anyone else, and all of my smiles for him are real.**

**So I thought of my training when I studied the smirk on Sasuke's face, and I wondered what parts of Sasuke were real and which parts of Sasuke were art.**

"**You could call it a party," he answered. I looked out the window again and saw two teenagers, a boy and a girl, walking down the street together. The car stopped and I watched them pass us by. If the boy had looked, he would have seen her reach for his hand nervously, but he didn't look, and they crossed the street with their hands in their pockets.**

**There are many things I can see, but few things I understand when I look at other people. If I was her, I would have taken his hand.**

**What if she'd been afraid that he would pull away? That he didn't want the attention?**

**If he pushed my hand away, I would have acted like I understood, to get along. But since I didn't understand, I would have waited for him to take mine later, to breach whatever nervousness or anxiety had kept our hands apart before.**

**But then again, maybe that wouldn't be the best way to go about it. It's the only way I know, though, and I'll believe in it.**

"**Sai, do you think you know him?" Sasuke asked suddenly. The car began to move again.**

"**Who?" I asked, knowing full well who he was talking about.**

**Sasuke grimaced, then looked at me through the rearview mirror with a vicious smile on his face. I know he's used that look before in movies, when he had the part of a misunderstood (and of course impossibly attractive…who writes these stories?) suicidal bomber. I've looked through his work, though only briefly.**

**So with that smile on his face, he said, "You've known him for a few years, but I know that a guy like you wouldn't really have tried to learn anything about him. I know why you've kept him by you and I don't like it. But I'm going to be really nice to you, Sai, and I'm going to teach you something about Uzumaki Naruto tonight."**

**His words ran by me like a script I've heard before, lines I couldn't believe in but that I managed to break through trained lips, and I nodded once I'd pulled those words apart. He continued to look back at me, and I smiled for lack of a better reaction.**

"**Thank you," I said after a moment, "I would really like…to get to know him better."**

**Once again, I only spoke the truth. I never expected that I would have the opportunity to become close to Naruto, not after our second meeting; I never thought that I'd see the real person again, the one I'd met during acting school. There was much about his past that I didn't understand, but even if I couldn't understand all of my characters' motivations, or why I always drew bad reactions from people I was close to, I wanted to see a little more about him.**

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	8. You Or Myself

The Us-Them Complex, Chapter Eight

Pairings: NarutoSai

Side pairings now include KakashiIruka, ChoujiIno

Original Characters now include Helen

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Notes:

This is a double first-person point of view story. In other words, some of it is told by Naruto, and some of it is told by Sai.

Naruto

**Sai**

All—

And herein lies part two of the Hinata Arc.

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"**Why are we here?"**

**It was an honest question, a simple question, an innocent question. Once I'd asked it though, Sasuke smirked at me and leaned forward on one elbow, balanced carefully and easily in the chair he'd taken beside me. A pair of binoculars rested in his lap for some purpose I had yet to understand as we sat in the VIP box of a martial arts arena.**

"**Your education," he responded after a moment, as if he'd wanted some time to enjoy my question and had made no attempt to conceal it.**

**This ambiguous answer lead me to decide that nothing could be accomplished by asking him questions in a direct manner, so I let go of my interrogation and turned away from Sasuke to look over the arena.**

**I'd never watched a martial arts match before, and I might have had some interest in it if physical fights appealed to me in the slightest. They did not, however, and I wondered how long I'd have to wait for Sasuke to reveal his intentions to me.**

**The rest of the crowd looked like little blurs of color from the VIP box. Sasuke and I had been provided with a monitor on which we could watch the match at a closer range, and once I'd considered this the presence of Sasuke's binoculars became more significant.**

**I'd noticed that there were screens placed around the arena that hung from the ceiling, to allow those not as well-off as Sasuke and I a chance to watch the match more closely than their proximity to the floor would otherwise have allowed. The match had not yet begun, so the screens flashed from one part of the crowd to another every few seconds as if on some sort of screen-saver mode. I noticed then that Sasuke's eyes were fixed not on the audience or the floor but on one of the screens, as if he were watching for something.**

**There was a purposeful look on his face for a moment, but when he caught my eye the moment passed and he glanced back at the floor in a bland manner.**

**I looked at the floor, too, but I could still feel some sort of tension surrounding Sasuke. His silence had begun not just so Sasuke would not have to talk to me; he was thinking. I realized from the look on his face, the tautness around his eyes and mouth, that there may have been some strong emotions lying beneath the cool display of 'Sasuke'.**

**I still knew almost nothing about Naruto's past with Sasuke. It would have been useless to imagine, and I couldn't have asked Naruto about him in a safe manner. Sasuke and I were in the middle of our own game, one of the kinds that many people play in order to avoid sharing with each other truthfully. I've learned to interact with others in this way to maintain relationships necessary for my work and to gain the respect of people who could help my career.**

**It was because of this that I could not ask Sasuke about his relationship with Naruto, even though I was sitting next to him, and even though he'd told me he'd brought me with him to teach me something about Naruto. Lessons are taught, not taken.**

**Sasuke lifted the binoculars to his eyes, even though the match had not begun. I decided not to ask him why… if I had, I knew** **that he most likely would have given me a false answer or perhaps none at all. I was not in actuality affected by his decision to view anything in the arena through binoculars, at any rate, so even if I was a little curious I could still let him be.**

**He lowered the binoculars to his lap after a minute and sat back in his chair as if trying to relax. I could see tension in his body, though, and nothing that had happened since the call I'd received from him made sense.**

**I'd kissed Sasuke at the reunion, and it was his turn to strike. Had he planned an elaborate revenge on me since that night? Was this match a part of it?**

**I couldn't help but think that even if Sasuke had chosen to hurt my reputation in some way or cause a strange scandal with my name at the center, he still couldn't go far enough for me to really care.**

**I doubted that Sasuke knew my reasons for keeping Naruto by my side, even though he'd said he did. I'd begun to wonder what reasons he'd imagined, but I abandoned my pondering because I knew that there was no use in thinking about it. Sasuke thought what he thought; and my reasons were my reasons. We couldn't imagine each other's feelings.**

**Or, I knew at least that I couldn't imagine his at that moment.**

"**I wonder how Naruto's doing," I said absent-mindedly.**

**Sasuke moved out of the corner of my eye, and I caught a smirk on his face as he replied, "Yes, I wonder, where could he be?"**

**I watched him for a moment but he didn't look at me, so I continued to wait for whatever it was that Sasuke had planned.**

**My thoughts turned to my personal assistant. Naruto was on a date, and for some reason I felt nothing. I'd felt nothing the day that he'd asked off for his high school reunion, and I'd denied his work leave simply because I didn't understand why he'd want to meet his old friends again. He'd never spoken to me about Sakura or Sasuke before then, so I'd thought that maybe he'd stopped caring about his old friends since his college years, or perhaps even before. When I'd seen him with Sakura and Sasuke at the reunion, however, he'd allowed me briefly and completely without his knowledge, to see that he cared about both of them. And so I'd let him talk to them without any interruptions from myself until I'd found him tied to a bed and completely naked, not to mention without much of an explanation.**

**And he was with another woman again.**

**I realized then that Sasuke had begun to look through the binoculars once more, and he called my attention back to him with the word, "Checkmate."**

**I turned towards him and he smirked, lowering the binoculars from his face and handing them to me to allow me to see whatever if was that had delighted him so. "There's a group of women in red dresses," he told me. "Near a woman in a green dress. Look for a gorgeous woman with dark hair and her dashing boyfriend."**

**Curious, I took the binoculars and looked for the group of women he'd spoken of. I found them with little effort, and I was a little surprised to see Naruto, in a suit no less, sitting next to a black-haired woman in a black dress. They were talking animatedly, and I saw Naruto make a face and laugh. The woman next to him smiled and covered her mouth as she laughed with him, and then waved him off as they began to talk again.**

"**It's Naruto," I replied.**

**Sasuke leaned towards me until his mouth was close to my ear, almost close enough for his shoulder to touch mine, and he whispered, "Sai, I know how you feel about him. I've seen the way you look at him, and you need to get something through your head."**

**I lowered the binoculars slowly as I listened to Sasuke. "What?" I asked him softly.**

**Sasuke paused, and then continued. "You want him. You want to make Naruto yours, and to keep him to yourself. I've known it since I met you at the reunion, and it makes me sick to know that someone would try to do that to my best friend. I've heard about you, and about the way you were back in acting school. I've spoken to some of your old 'friends' and I didn't like what I heard. If you were any other guy, I could have shrugged it off. But for…"**

**I was almost certain that his voice cracked then. He swallowed, though, and continued, his face close to my ear so I could not see him clearly. I was unable to make out his expression, and I realized that it may have been what he wanted.**

**I could hear it in his tone, though.**

**Sasuke continued. "…but for you to see Naruto like that…I know he'll get away from you when he has someone better to turn to, Sai. I can't let you go on thinking that he'll always be yours to boss around and play with, and I _can't stand_ the thought of you trying to…to harm him. So…you see, Sai…he can find other people in this world, and he won't always be yours. There are other people who care about him and he'll turn to them once he's had some time to shake you off."**

**Once he was done, Sasuke pulled away from me and leaned back in his chair, sighing as the thing he'd been preoccupied with was lifted from his chest. I ran his words through my head in confusion, and then…**

**I turned to look at Sasuke. He was paler than I thought he'd been minutes earlier, and once I'd seen the look on his face I knew it.**

"**Sasuke…" I whispered. He glanced at me, and the crowd grew loud as the match began.**

**I couldn't have cared less about the fight, and it seemed as though Sasuke felt the same way as he shot me a sudden glare and sat up in his seat, annoyed that I'd spoken. I'd always thought that Naruto was quick to anger but I realized then that I'd found a possible root for it; when Sasuke couldn't neatly conceal an emotion he'd cover it with aggression.**

"**What?" he snapped when I failed to say anything else. "Do you feel sick seeing him with someone else?"**

**The other few people in the box were watching the match, so I leaned towards him. I hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I don't own Naruto," I whispered.**

"**Tch."**

**Sasuke rolled his eyes and turned away from me. "Is that all?" he asked me in frustration. I thought about it, and I had a little more to say.**

"**Sasuke…you said that you knew why I choose to keep Naruto by my side, but you didn't tell me what my reason was. Instead, I…" I hesitated for a moment, but I was almost certain so I finished my thought.**

"**I think that whatever you had in mind was your own reason. You care about Naruto a lot, don't you?"**

**He glared at me and opened his mouth as if to say something but he could only stare at me for a few seconds, his perfect eyebrows furrowing and his handsome mouth working uselessly as I tried to smile at him.**

"**What the _fuck_ are you talking about?" he finally hissed at me. My smile had not caused his anger to dissipate in any way; I knew that I almost certainly** **fueled it instead. So I let the smile drop from my face and answered him carefully.**

"**I know that Naruto cares about a lot of people. I don't know too much about his feelings for you or Sakura, but…I know he cares about both of you as deeply as he cares for anyone else. And…I don't know too much about it, but…I think that if you grew up with him, you must care--"**

**Sasuke suddenly stood up as the first part of the match ended, knocking his chair down in a grand display. I watched him in as he shouted, "No, you _don't_ know about it, and you don't know about him!" Sasuke pointed at me as his voice rose in volume, and though we'd earned the attention of everyone else in the VIP box neither of us were able to force ourselves to care too much then. "Don't you _dare_ compare me with you! I haven't seen my best friend in years because you've been over-working him and he can't stand to be around you! He told me at the reunion how terrible you are to him and that he _doesn't _want to work for you and you _fucking kissed him_ like he was--"**

**I saw out of the corner of my eye that the monitors placed around the arena displayed none other than Sasuke as I saw him then, choking out an angry assault and pointing at me. I also saw my own head and shoulders, and as I noticed this I tried to interrupt him by saying, "Sasuke, if you could please be quiet--"**

**Sasuke had not noticed, though, and my little interruption spurred him on. "Do you talk to him like that?" he asked, his voice growing strained and quiet. "Do you order _him _around and not let him do whatever the _fuck _he wants with whoever the _fuck_ he wants to do it with?" His face had turned red by then, and I stood up to try to approach him. I was at a loss, though, and I didn't know how to calm him down. The monitors continued to display Sasuke and myself in the VIP box and Sasuke continued to ramble on.**

**When he opened his mouth again, I thought about my situation. I'd struck a nerve that I shouldn't have and set off something inside of Sasuke that seemed difficult to shut off. He'd brought me somewhere to prove to me that Naruto wouldn't sink to my level or succumb to my ways in desperation, that I couldn't force Naruto into my bed or turn him into one of my old fuck buddies. I didn't know who had told Sasuke about my acting-school days but it seemed as though the information was correct, and I couldn't argue with it.**

**At the same time, I didn't need to argue with him. Sasuke cared about Naruto; I knew it then, and I no longer simply knew the words; I'd seen it. He'd gone out of his way to protect Naruto from me, in some weird and wonderful way.**

**I lunged forward and wrapped my arms around Sasuke in a hug. I didn't usually hug other people, but I knew from practice that it was the right thing to do to a distraught person. When I was close enough to him, I whispered, "I care about him too, Sasuke. And…I know he's not mine."**

**Sasuke froze, and if Sasuke had been Naruto in my arms I would have pulled back and waited for him, let him calm down, thought about what I'd done and logically sort out the crime I'd committed which I needed to not repeat. However, Sasuke was Sasuke. We had a game going, and he'd tried to score a point on me.**

**So with the camera and thousands of eyes on us, I made the most logical decision I could: I pulled away from Sasuke and pressed my mouth onto his for the second time with as much grandeur as I could fit into one forceful, unexpected, and open-mouthed kiss.**

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I gawked up at the monitor closest to me and Hinata. I hadn't watched it for most of the fight because we weren't sitting too far from the floor, but I'd looked up every few minutes to see a better view of Neji's fight.

At that time, though, once the first match had ended, the screen flashed to a room. I'd figured at first that it was some commercial or something, but I'd heard shouting and the next thing I saw was my new boss shoving his tongue down my old boss's throat.

I stared and stared and stopped breathing.

"Um…Naruto?" Hinata asked me as she stared at the screen with me.

I was unable to answer.

"…isn't that Sasuke?" she asked after another moment of silence.

"…I'm gonna KILL that bastard." was the only response I could give. As if she understood, Hinata nodded. The image disappeared from the screen and I decided that Sai must have been more of an adult than me, because I hadn't even thought of _touching _Hinata and he'd already gotten to first base with my ex-best friend.

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**Sasuke pushed me away and I smiled, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. He stumbled backward and did the same, only in a much rougher manner. The camera was off of us now but it seemed as though we still had the attention of everyone in the VIP room, including two security guards.**

**Sasuke glanced at them for a moment before turning back to me. "What's your _problem?"_ he shouted at me. _"Can't you be a normal fucking human being without--_"**

**He never finished his question, though, because the security guards waiting at the entrance chose his outburst as the best moment to lead us out of the room, away from the attention we'd found for ourselves. Sasuke forced himself into a calmer mood as we were lead away, and I wondered just how far my words had gone.**

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I wasn't on the payroll that day. Hell, I'd taken that day off.

This didn't stop me from looking for Sai as soon as the match was over.

Hinata walked alongside me worriedly. "That other guy was your boss?" she asked me.

I nodded. "Yeah, and I don't know what the fu--" I stopped myself mid-sentence. Hinata just wasn't the right person to curse around, so I amended my words. "I don't know what he was up to but he shouldn't be going around like this. It's not safe for him because he's so STUPID."

"What do you mean by stupid?" she asked me in a light tone.

He fucking kissed Sasuke AGAIN!

I fumed as I walked down the hall with Hinata. No matter what we were doing I didn't see why the HELL Sai felt the need to kiss Sasuke all the damn time! If he was into Sasuke then he could've just followed up on it like a normal person and…

…why did he have to kiss Sasuke when I couldn't get to him? Was he punishing me? Had he followed me to the match to show that he didn't need me, that I shouldn't have taken our 'thing' for granted?

Okay, that was how I'd started to feel about asking Sai to leave me alone but DAMNIT!

Ever since they'd met, it seemed like Sasuke and Sai couldn't really get along. I knew that Sasuke was probably jealous or something because I was working for Sai and not for him. They'd gotten along for about five seconds before I'd told Sasuke that I was working for Sai, and then BAM. I doubted that Sasuke felt anything for Sai, at least not like that, and Sai…oh, I'd never understand him.

As soon as the screen had left the room in which they'd kissed, though, I'd thought…that I didn't want him to waste any kisses like that.

Sai's lips are soft, and when they're under mine they suddenly turn pliant, almost like they're never going to make bizarre comments or insinuations anymore. That's what a kiss should be like, but to see Sai kiss Sasuke like that…

I'd begun to wonder if I'd ever meant anything to him.

I stopped walking.

"Naruto?" Hinata asked me. She'd walked a step down the hallway and turned around to face me.

Being able to kiss Sai…had been important to me. Hell, I'd just stared at him and thought about him in the shower for a little while, but when I'd touched him like he always let me touch him before, and when I could go past that to kiss him, and when he let me go further…I didn't regret any of that, even though I was angry at Sai. And when the night was over, I wanted to go back to his room or have him come to mine. I could at least…try to find out with him. I wasn't even sure what Sai meant to me, just that I found myself caring about him.

Did Sai have fun being crazy? Did he have fun kissing Sasuke every now and then? I put myself in Sasuke's shoes and thought that maybe Sai just did it to piss him off. Maybe he didn't have a problem with kissing other people…maybe he felt the same way when he touched someone else's shoulder or shook hands. I didn't want to admit it to myself but I knew that were just some people who were like that.

"Sorry, Hinata," I said after a moment. She gave me a worried look and asked, "Is something wrong?"

I shook my head. "Nah, just taking a moment to think," I told her, and with that said I resumed walking. She came with me and as we fell into step with each other I realized something that I should have realized before.

If it was just a kiss…I mean, just like putting lips together, not devotion…

I'd liked seeing Sakura and Sasuke again. I'd liked hugging Sakura. And I'd really liked it when she kissed me on the cheek, although the meaning was different from how it would have been ten years before. It felt like she cared about me and not like she was telling me that maybe we could sleep together or move in or have kids someday. It had made my chest warm.

It wasn't just Sai.

"Hey, Hinata?" I asked when we found a familiar hallway.

She looked at me and smiled. "Yes, Naruto?"

I smiled back and stopped walking. "Can I ask you a favor?"

Hinata stopped as well, and stood in front of me, a curious look on her face. "Yes, Naruto?" she asked.

I heard a door open, but I didn't look up. Instead, I asked her, "Don't slap me, okay?"

She blinked and answered. "Well, okay…"

So I leaned down and kissed her quickly on the lips.

We flew apart as I heard a voice boom out, "UZUMAKI!"

Hinata and I both turned to see an ultra-pissed Neji stomping down the hallway, banged-up and sweaty from his fight and ready for round two.

"I swear to god!" he shouted. I didn't move this time, and let him come to us. "I told you to behave yourself around Hinata and yet you STILL...!"

I grinned at him sheepishly. "Hey, Neji," I called down the hallway. When I turned to look at Hinata, she was watching me expectantly, and her face had turned as red as I remember it turning back in high school when other girls would gather around her and laugh as they pointed in my group's direction.

Wait…had they been pointing at me? Go figure.

"Naruto…" she whispered. Neji drew closer and closer, but it was Hinata's reaction I was more worried about. I'd rejected her and then kissed her, although it had only been for a second, like a good-bye kiss a working couple would share before heading off for work on their separate ways.

"You like it?" I asked like an idiot.

Hinata stared at me for three seconds before jumping so she could put her arms around my neck and squealing. "Thank you thank you thank you thank you!" she cried out. I hugged her and spun her around, and when the moment was over I set her down and we both noticed then that Neji had stopped in his tracks in favor of staring at us in a blend of shock and disgust.

I guess that makes sense. I wouldn't get it either.

Two sets of footsteps covered up the silence in the hallway, and one picked up in speed. I turned around to see Sasuke and Sai walking towards us, with Sasuke in the lead. Sai followed him with a curious look on his face, and when his black eyes flashed to mine we watched each other. His face was perfectly blank, and I didn't know what to say to him at that time.

"Naruto!" Sasuke called out as he neared me. "So, how was your date?"

I gave him a look. Wait…which one of them had followed me to the arena? Sai hadn't even known where I was going! But Sasuke….

Still pissed off, but now at a different person, I folded my arms. "Great. How was yours?" I asked him.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes in confusion. "What?"

I pointed at Sai, who chose that exact moment to stare at a wall and tap his foot innocently. Sasuke almost looked to him for help, but when he realized that the only contribution Sai would ever willingly give to the conversation would be the kind that would dig the hole deeper than it already was, he rolled his eyes and took another step towards me.

"Hi, Hinata," he said quickly. She smiled and opened her mouth to reply but Sasuke turned to me instead. "Look, he just kissed me. Believe me, I would never stoop so low as to doing anything with _that_," he insisted, jerking his thumb at my boss over his shoulder.

Sai added childish whistling to his 'I'm not here' routine.

"Uchiha!" Neji said once he'd come out of his stupor. He walked up to Sasuke, and stood between Hinata and me to prevent anything else from happening between us. I put my hands in my pockets and stayed for the show, hoping that I'd get to keep my kiss with Hinata a secret.

I didn't want Sai to know I'd kissed someone else, too. He might have thought that I was after revenge.

Sasuke rolled his eyes in response to Neji. "It's not Uchiha Sasuke anymore, just Sasuke. I dropped my family name--"

But, Neji just yelled over him. "How DARE you attend my match and make a mockery of it with _that!_" he railed, pointing to Sai. Sai's attention snapped to Neji.

"Have I been renamed without any consultation?" he asked in serious way. He was ignored.

As Neji continued to argue with Sasuke, holding him as the responsible party, I caught Sai's eye again. He looked back at me blankly, but before he looked away I smiled at him sheepishly. Sai smiled back, and I don't know if it meant anything or if he just wanted to return my little white flag but I still didn't ask him about his kiss with Sasuke and he kept his mouth shut about my date with Hinata.

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Hinata stayed at the arena after that. I'd offered to bring her home but she just laughed at me.

"I don't live here, Naruto!" she told me. "Neji's not done yet anyway."

We'd stood there for a few seconds, and I hugged her. She hugged back and once we were done, we went our separate ways.

I found Sai and Sasuke standing outside the arena, with Sasuke on his cell phone and Sai standing a few feet away. They didn't look at each other and it bothered me. Sai smiled at me when he saw me, though, and waved for me to come over. I picked up the pace.

Sai and I had some talking to do.

Sasuke turned around once he'd heard me, and then looked away for a moment to finish his phone call. "Just come quickly, okay?" he asked the person on the other end of the line. He hung up immediately and shut his phone, turning around again to face me. "Have a nice date, Uzumaki?" he asked me in the same tone he'd always used with me in high school.

"Yeah," I said blandly. I didn't want to tell Sasuke everything…like how there would never be a second date. I didn't want to give him any information he could use to ask another question, or any concerns he'd feel the need to give me advice about. "It was nice. Hinata's a nice girl."

"She is, isn't she?" Sasuke asked me. Digging.

"Yeah," I replied quickly. Before he could go any further, I turned to Sai, who'd chosen to stare into the distance. I realized then that he was usually the center of attention or that was where he'd been before, at the parties we'd gone to, or when he was at work. Now, though, when he had nothing to do, when he wasn't surrounded by people, he looked…like a doll, still and perfect, placed to the side and out of use.

"Hey, Sai," I said, just as quickly.

He turned my way and smiled. "Hello yourself," he answered softly through offensive lips. I decided something then.

I was going to make him BRUSH HIS FUCKING TEETH as soon as possible.

"Hey…what are you doing here?" I asked him, trying to keep the edge out of my voice.

Sai looked at me blankly, and waited a moment before responding. "Sasuke told me about that one fighter, Neji. He wanted to see the fight and I'd never seen one before so I asked if he would bring me along with him. He agreed and we got into an argument when we sat down, so we each attacked the other in our own way."

I could tell from the confused look on Sasuke's face that Sai's story probably wasn't true. I decided to wait until we were alone to ask him, though. I knew that he might have been lying for what he thought was a good reason.

Maybe I'll catch on to him, some day.

"Oh, so that's what it was," I said, adding, "Well, it's good that you two can get along like that. You both mean a lot to me so it makes me happy, okay?"

It was forced. It was more of a plea than a statement. Sasuke looked away once I'd said it but Sai stared at me with an expression I couldn't understand.

"What?" I asked him softly. He pulled a pretty smile onto his face and shook his head.

Before Sai could say anything, Sasuke cleared his throat. "Helen's about five minutes away. I'll drop you two off at your hotel if you want me to."

A peace offering…

"Sure," I choked out. I should have had more to say to him, or I should have felt the need to ask him and Sai about the kiss, but they were both adults. They could handle themselves.

Sasuke must have felt lonely, though. He had the same look as he'd had in middle school, standing off to the side, away from everyone even though they had their eyes on him.

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I held my tongue throughout the duration of the car ride. Sasuke and Sai had both fallen silent, but it was just as well as the road was crowded with drunk drivers and Helen had chosen to contribute more than her fair share of noise by cursing at the other drivers in what I assumed was English.

Sasuke dropped us off without a word. I stayed in the car a few seconds longer than Sai, but when Sasuke didn't turn around to ask me what was up I got out of the car and shut the door. Helen drove off and I watched their car disappear around a corner.

I could feel Sai standing beside me, waiting.

"Don't kiss him anymore," I blurted out.

"Okay," he replied almost immediately.

"Or…anyone else," I added. I didn't want to ask too much, but…but…he'd been the one who'd looked at me like that, when I'd had him against the wall, or when we'd been on his bed. I didn't know if he gave everyone he slept with that look. He'd been so…giving.

I didn't want to be selfish. Sai was Sai.

"No one else?" he asked softly. I saw him walking towards me out of the corner of my eye, and he walked around to my front, keeping only a little distance between us.

"Please," I asked him.

He frowned and leaned toward me, whispering, "Not even you?" and as I opened my mouth to respond the obvious, he turned his face so that his lips hovered close to mine, and rested his hands on my shoulders.

I could have kissed him then.

"Idiot," I whispered harshly. "I meant anyone BUT me, stupid."

Sai smiled slyly. "But you said anyone…" he whispered playfully.

Even as he stood there, so close to me and in a position he'd placed us in, he waited for me to kiss him.

I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek instead. Sai frowned and touched the place on his cheek where my lips had been, a questioningly look in his dark eyes.

I frowned back. "Brush your goddamned teeth."

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**I did as Naruto had told me to when I went to my hotel room. He went to his own room as well, and as much as I wanted to follow him I didn't know if he wanted me again.**

**I changed into nightclothes after that, and as I slid my shirt over my head I heard a sharp knocking at my door. A glance outside told me that it was Naruto in a bathrobe and slippers. When I opened the door I saw that he had also brought his phone and its charger.**

"**Did your wall outlet not work?" I asked him jokingly.**

**He gave me a cute glare and said, "Real funny." Naruto turned serious then, letting the display of irritation leave his face. "Sai, I…"**

"…**want to screw around with me again?" I finished for him.**

**Naruto gave me a guilty look and paused a moment before answering, "Yes."**

**I smiled at him and let him into my room. Two minutes later, his phone sat on my nightstand, his bathrobe lay on my couch, and I took Naruto's hand to lead him to bed.**

**He caught me around my waist then and held my back to his chest. "Sai, you remember what I asked you downstairs, right?"**

**I nodded. "You don't want me to kiss anyone else?" I asked him.**

**Naruto's voice fell. "Yeah. And…I want to be your boyfriend, okay?"**

**I smiled to myself. Naruto still didn't know how I'd felt for so, so long… "I wouldn't want it to be anyone else," I answered truthfully.**

**I felt his lips on my back and the sudden sensation sent chills throughout my body. I turned around and took the kiss from his lips that I'd wanted before, and he wrapped his arms around me again and kissed back. I brought my arms around his neck loosely and relaxed into the kiss, opening my lips to let his tongue into my mouth.**

**When he pulled back from the kiss, he stroked my sides gently. I closed my eyes and waited for his hand to slip under my shirt.**

"**Sai," Naruto said quietly. I opened my eyes, my anticipation draining away as I asked, "Yes?"**

"…**let's just sleep tonight, alright?"**

**I fell still for a moment. Naruto didn't know how wound up I was…how many times in the past few days I'd opened the drawer in my bathroom to find the 'provisions' I'd brought for us and wondered if I'd ever need them.**

**But I wanted to go at his pace.**

"**Of course," I whispered back.**

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I woke up with an arm over Sai's chest the next morning. He was still asleep, or he was at least pretending to be. His body felt warm and firm and pleasant, the best thing to wake up to in the morning.

Sai opened his eyes quickly and shut them again, resuming his 'I'm sleeping' act. I glared at him for a moment before shrugging and wrapping my arms around him a little more tightly.

"You could've woken me up," I told him.

He opened his eyes again and fixed them on the ceiling as he answered, "I didn't want to. I thought that if you were awake you'd get out of bed."

I rolled my eyes, but I wasn't too upset or anything. Sai was Sai, and to be Sai was to be weird. It was a truth I'd come to accept little by little.

Things to do…I groaned at the thought of getting up and going to Chouji's restaurant again, but I knew that even if Sai wanted to be lazy, it was my job to keep things going. I shoved myself into a sitting position and when I was off of him Sai sat up too, leaning back on his arms as he watched me.

I rubbed my forehead. "Time to go see Shikamaru, right?" I asked, my voice scratchy from sleep.

"Let's just go back to Tokyo," Sai replied quietly.

I gave him a look because I thought he was joking. I guess that he wasn't because his face had a serious look and when I didn't say anything, he told me, "Nara doesn't need much help from me right now. I think it's time that I let him take care of his business by himself and get ready for my audition."

Once that had been said, I thought it over and shrugged. "Whatever you say," I said. It wasn't really my decision…I'd just thought that they'd need more time, but what do I know about clothing design?

Sai's last words hit me and my eyes shot open as I looked back at him. He watched me in amusement as I nearly shouted, "The audition! Shit, have you been practicing your lines?"

He smiled at me, and from the look on his face he was almost ready to laugh. "Yes, Naruto," Sai answered, "I've been reading them on my own. I do know how to do a few things by myself, after all."

I closed my eyes a (for) moment and planned out the next couple of days in my head. First, I needed to get us a plane or some other kind of transportation back to Tokyo. We had a few days before the audition, which was thankfully in Tokyo, and until then I'd have to help him with his lines and put up with whatever he wanted to do to 'explore his character'. There were also errands waiting for me, and on a more personal note, I'd have to call Hinata when I had some free time.

Maybe I'd call Sasuke, too.

Once I'd set my plans in my head, I opened my eyes and slammed my right fist into my left hand in a 'get ready' gesture that almost made Sai flinch. "Okay," I told him, "I'll get us back to Tokyo, hopefully sometime today. Then I'll help you get ready for the audition…I'll be that guy…what's his name. Whatever."

Sai nodded, and I pulled my phone away from its charger and started to look up the number for the traveling service. As I typed in the numbers, though, I looked over my phone and caught Sai smiling at me.

"What is it?" I asked him, holding my fingers still over the keypad of my phone.

Sai shrugged and looked away.

Going into our relationship for the second time, I think that I'd like to unlock more of him. There's something familiar about Sai, and I've felt it for a long time. I'd always taken it as a feeling that I could boss him around, and I've done that sometimes (but it was just when he was really pissing me off), and I've never really thought past it. After I met him, we established a bit of a push-and-pull flow between ourselves to make things easier. Ever since he'd let me kiss him for the first time, though, everything had become so one-way…and I'd never thought I'd be in a relationship where I'd be the one who'd always call the shots.

Maybe it didn't sit so well with me because it didn't seem healthy. It wasn't that Sai didn't talk or have his own voice—he certainly did. In fact, I knew right then that there would probably still be a lot of times when I'd want him to just shut the fuck up. And, there would be times when I'd find a way to _make_ him shut the fuck up. But I still didn't know what he wanted; just that he was willing to be my…boyfriend. I couldn't quite swallow the word.

He'd been the one to tell me that he liked being held against a wall…or, rather, that he'd liked being held down by me. And I knew that he wanted sex because he'd let me do whatever I wanted to him, and more than that he'd said he was up for whatever I wanted.

At the same time, I still didn't know what I wanted from him, so I decided to follow the same path I'd taken before: to do what felt right. I wouldn't rush or place any expectations on him, but I was his…lover…and I'd really started to care about him, now that I'd gotten over the little wall that kept me away from everyone besides Sakura and Sasuke.

I realized then that I'd never really hated Sai. I'd just had a little business to take care of before I really saw him, to figure out some things about 'us' and 'them'. My night at the reunion and the morning after had tied a few ends I still had loose with Sasuke and Sakura, and even though I planned on seeing them again I finally felt ready to start being me, the Uzumaki Naruto version, and not someone else's.

So, now that I was with someone new, and really _with_ him, it made sense that I didn't quite know what to do either.

I finished dialing the number and waited for someone to pick up. I had a life to get back to.

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No, the story's not over.

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	9. Discontinued

All--

Sorry, I don't plan to continue this story.


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